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Author
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Topic: So darn sad & trying to figure it out. Anyone feel like exchanging?
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DreamCatcher
Knowflake Posts: 573
From: United States
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted December 29, 2015 03:04 PM
  
I dunno what's going on, but lately, I can't shake these feelings of caring WAY too much of what members of my family feel/think about what I am doing with my life. I shouldn't care, but I especially care because I feel very judged by my sister & her husband, and I can feel their judgement. It really bugs me...I guess my question is: why do they not ever acknowledge all the GOOD I do, and what is their problem? (if any) I wish I did not care...I feel like their is some sort of Karma playing out that I need to take care of....anyone that can shed some light? I'm so super nice & accommodating to them, and I feel like they don't even notice it. Leave me a detailed question- I will be happy to read . Namaste-
M IP: Logged |
thequeen
Knowflake Posts: 2188
From: India
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted December 29, 2015 03:36 PM
Yes you can say there is some Karma playing out here. You're nice to them and they love you, but as in every family they try to teach you rules like every adult does. As you're grown up these things seem to bug you. Whatever they do they think it'd good or it is good for you but somehow it turns out bad. It's all a matter of connection and thinking and sometimes people just don't resonate to each other's feelings and the good also starts appearing as bad. However, in your case there is definite Karma playing it's role. Things though, will soon sort themselves out and there won't be so much dispute between you all.IP: Logged |
DreamCatcher
Knowflake Posts: 573
From: United States
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted December 29, 2015 06:22 PM
Thanks queen! Leave a q. I will be home from work in a couple of hours!So just to clarify: you are saying that they feel they try to do what's good for me but they feel it turns out bad ? Like I ruin it? "Talk" shortly !
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MinceyMouse
Knowflake Posts: 2815
From:
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted December 29, 2015 06:29 PM
Hey DreamCatcher- intuitively- I don't think it's karma or anything like that. It's just that they are too comfortable where they are and therefore assume that anyone who is everyone will bend over backwards for them. I sense a sense of entitlement. This is obviously very rarely the case in real life (re: ppl being accommodating). I don't see them changing their attitude towards you though, even if you do address it (as in they change for 5 mins, and then go back to their old ways). I hate to say this, but they will not change their behaviour to you. You can choose how to react to it- you can continue, or you can keep a distance from them so it doesn't affect your well being. Sometimes there aren't good reasons for a behaviour, and this is one of those times. IP: Logged |
tgem
Moderator Posts: 4519
From:
Registered: Jan 2013
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posted December 29, 2015 06:31 PM
Hi DreamCatcher, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I am going through the exact same thing. I have just arrived to see my family for a post Xmas celebration and I feel like an outcast...like everyone is judging me, like I'm the negative one and everyone else is the happy go lucky. I can't exchange with you since I'm on vacation and didn't bring my cards, but I feel for you and wanted to let you know you're not alone. I wish I wasn't judged either. I wish my family could truly see the loving caring person I feel I truly am, rather than judging me in how I've reacted to the circumstances in my life. But I guess, our lesson is to learn not to care how people judge us and keep staying positive and strong. Wishing you much love ❤️IP: Logged |
DreamCatcher
Knowflake Posts: 573
From: United States
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted December 29, 2015 11:54 PM
Thank so much everyone ...it's so HARD to let this crap go!!!!Leave questions- feel free
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SpiritualSadie
Knowflake Posts: 152
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted December 30, 2015 12:07 AM
I don't know if this helps, but I get very strongly that this is more about you learning to let go of others perceptions and judgments of you. It's about learning to be true to yourself and following your own path; trusting yourself and being strong and confident that you are where you are supposed to be. You need not worry about what they think, but instead learn to let it not matter. IP: Logged |
thequeen
Knowflake Posts: 2188
From: India
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted December 30, 2015 04:13 AM
quote:
Originally posted by DreamCatcher:
Thanks queen! Leave a q. I will be home from work in a couple of hours
So just to clarify: you are saying that they feel they try to do what's good for me but they feel it turns out bad ? Like I ruin it?
"Talk" shortly !
TY, but mine was just a general suggestion so no need for exchange  IP: Logged |
DreamCatcher
Knowflake Posts: 573
From: United States
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted December 30, 2015 09:36 AM
quote:
Originally posted by MinceyMouse:
Hey DreamCatcher- intuitively- I don't think it's karma or anything like that. It's just that they are too comfortable where they are and therefore assume that anyone who is everyone will bend over backwards for them. I sense a sense of entitlement. This is obviously very rarely the case in real life (re: ppl being accomodation). I don't see them changing their attitude towards you though, even if you do address it (as in they change for 5 mins, and then go back to their old ways). I hate to say this, but they will not change their behaviour to you. You can choose how to react to it- you can continue, or you can keep a distance from them so it doesn't affect your well being. Sometimes there aren't good reasons for a behaviour, and this is one of those times.
I think you nailed it right on the head! Wanting me to bend into a pretzel and be at their beck & call. (Even though it's all on an unconscious level, they will never admit that) IP: Logged |
DreamCatcher
Knowflake Posts: 573
From: United States
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted December 30, 2015 09:38 AM
quote:
Originally posted by SpiritualSadie:
I don't know if this helps, but I get very strongly that this is more about you learning to let go of others perceptions and judgments of you. It's about learning to be true to yourself and following your own path; trusting yourself and being strong and confident that you are where you are supposed to be. You need not worry about what they think, but instead learn to let it not matter.
SO TRUE!!! I'm trying really hard.! Thanks Sadie. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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