posted February 26, 2016 12:12 PM            

It's been a while since I've posted to these forums, life's been moving at such a quick pace.

So, I am in need of insight. My ex fiance contacted me last week and it's been driving me insane since then.

I got off my bicycle and pulled my phone out to let my boyfriend know I had arrived to his apartment when I had seen two text messages from a strange number that I didn't recognize. I unlocked my phone and briefly skimmed the texts to get a gist of who and what it might have been about. I saw certain key words that made me feel a little panicky, which were his name, surprise visits and police. Thinking that the police had showed up at the house I used to reside in with him looking for me, I immediately called the number.

He answered after two rings with a hello, myself responding with an uh, hi. He asked how I was in which I responded by asking if he wanted the truth or wanted me to lie. His answer was let's go with the truth since I don't like lies. I told him that I was pretty awful right about now. He said he was about the same and that the past few months had been difficult for him. I quickly corrected his assumption of what he thought I had meant by telling him that my life has actually been going well for the past several months and that my reasoning for what I said was because he had contacted me and that at the current moment it was making me feel as if I were going to vomit. He said fair enough.

He told me about how he is trying to pursue a career that requires background checks and, since my name happened to be on a few former leases, I would be contacted and interviewed about him and that he wanted to give me a heads up. We discussed the "statistics and prospects" of him pursuing this particular career. I strongly expressed my disdain of his career choice, which he was already aware of.

I asked him if that was the only reason he was contacting me and he said no. He told me that he felt a healthy amount of time had passed and wanted to touch base and see how I was doing. He expressed that the friendships he makes he doesn't like to let go of. We talked about missing our friendship, I agreed but also told him that our intimate relationship was very unhealthy, that we were too young to have gotten into such a serious relationship and that if we would have waited until we were about 30 or 40 it may have possibly worked out then. He expressed that he regrets the way we broke up and that he has realized that he is "emotionally unintelligent".

We talked about how psychologically freeing it is to get rid of material possessions. I told him about how I had recently thrown away one of the cigar boxes he gave me years ago because it had broke. He said he had been finding them everywhere like crazy recently. We both talked about and agreed on how difficult it is to find like minded people with the unique interests that we have in common with each other.

I asked him how he got my phone number. He told me he still had it memorized. I didn't mention this to him but I did recall that when I contacted him last year he said he hadn't recognized my number, so I found it a bit strange for him to tell me now that he had it memorized.

He mentioned he had a girlfriend who was freaking out because he told her he had to call me, I mentioned my boyfriend. Since he said part of the reason of his call was to touch base I asked him where we stood in terms of being friends. He said we could be friends although he doesn't really have a lot of time and that he didn't want to "damage any relationships".

I haven't heard from him since and this was a week ago. We spent an hour on the phone.

I don't really know what to make of this which is why I'm asking for insight.

A few of my friends think he was trying to see if he still had a chance with me. One of my other friends thinks it was just a cop out for not wanting to seem like a jerk for contacting me out of the blue.

Was he just saying he wanted to touch base with me and be friends so he didn't seem like a jerk for contacting me out of the blue or is he being truthful? Is he trying to see if he still has a chance with me? Will I be hearing from him again or is this it?