posted February 28, 2016 05:24 PM            

Backstory: We talked about a little over a year ago, met each other online. We dated for about a month and things started to seem like they were getting serious between us until suddenly things just stopped.

I kind of had a hunch that maybe he was seeing someone else and after about a month of not contact and bumping into to him on campus randomly, I decided to reach out to him and it turned out that he was in fact seeing someone at the time.

So I wish him the best and we go on with our lives and then right at the end of that school year he reaches out to me again in attempts to rekindle things. And it seemed somewhat promising at first. He was graduating and moving out of state that summer and I was working in a different state during the summer but he offered to drive and visit me on my days off.

..After some time, I basically just called things off since I felt like I wanted/needed to focus on myself so we parted ways again. Looking back (and if I'm honest with myself), I was also still a little hurt from how things ended with us before. We had stopped talking after his birthday and I had bought him a few gifts that I really put a lot of effort into specializing for him (which I had NEVER done for a guy) and when we stopped talking, there wasn't any explanation at all. I guess I just felt silly/naive in my decisions regarding that.

So fast forward some more months and he reaches out to me again toward the end of 2015. This time I kind of responded in a hasty/rude manner and basically told him if he wasn't looking for anything serious than to not contact me since I wasn't looking to waste my time. He explains that he does want to talk again and while I agreed and tried to talk to him, he still (at least to me) seemed like he really wasn't interested so I just gave up and deleted him off of facebook on the first day of the New Year.

I don't know, maybe I hurt him and he's really trying to reach out to me but I'm too blind to see it?

Today, despite us not being friends on facebook he still managed to send me a message asking how I was doing and I don't know whether I should respond or not.

I still don't even know what I want as far as relationships/dating go and there's a lot that I need to heal/work on in regards to how I relate with people and build relationships. Sooo yeah.

Would someone mind giving me a reading in regards to this situation or any advice in general? And feel free to be as brutally honest as possible.

My initials are KJ and his are AS.

posted February 29, 2016 03:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Orange:
it sounds like you both are intrigued by each other but the attraction is not strong enough to give it the oomph effect... similar to the inconjunction aspect in astrology. You just dont know what to do with each other.
I'd say - listen to your intuition and dont try to look for a hidden meaning behind his actions.
I think you already know the answer yourself!

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Thank you

Funny you say that we don't know what to do with each other because the last reading I got about our relationship said just that lol. The reading literally said that we wouldn't know what to do with/about each other but we wouldn't completely push each other away and still try to stay connected somehow.

Minus the hiccup in the first month's we knew each other (but even then we weren't exclusive and we both mutually stopped contacting each other so I can't really fault him), he's always been respectful and genuine to me. Even looking back at old messages from the other two times he reached out to me, he really made an effort to text me and check up on me despite me disappearing and not texting him back for days.

And now that I think about it even more I think that when I deleted him from fb this January for not seeming "interested", I'm pretty sure he started to withdraw:
A) because I wasn't too friendly when he messaged me
And
B) because I started distancing myself again and replying less frequently

So his "disinterest" was more than likely an anticipation of me pulling away and ending things again (which I ended up doing).

I guess now I can conclude that all my answers are and always have been right in front of my face..

Sigh, I don't even know where to begin? Looking at my behavior this is just even more reason why I distance myself from forming relationships because I'm so crappy at them. I really need to seek therapy 😳

posted February 29, 2016 02:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Orange:
I will you this, Chiemi ... Women have strong intuition so if you acted in a certain way, its because you sensed something was off, something didnt add up.

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Thank you,

I'm aware of that and I'm often very in tune with my gut/intuition and quick to act on those feelings. After really thinking over the situation though and even based off of the readings I've gotten regarding us, there's nothing wrong with him but rather I just keep pushing him away.

I've cut people off and gotten out of soon to be bad situations before because of my intuition but I've never had any instance like this where I get a nagging feeling that I was wrong for doing so.