posted April 22, 2016 09:08 PM            

I stumbled upon your post, and I wasn't sure why. I'm very sorry that you're feeling a deep anhedonia. I'm curious, too -- you say you've found your twin flame.

posted April 22, 2016 09:36 PM            

And yes, I found her and its truly amazing! First time I met her, was an instant connection! We are opposites but share so many similarities, especially details from our lives, things we went trough, our parents and best friends are the same signs, have the same problems, we are drawn by the same things, we feel eachother, the state of mind and spirit, we feel everything! I feel even her pain and she feels mine. I felt some hidden bad things in her life that she did not see, and helped her out. We grew so much in so many ways since we met this summer. We visit eachother on the astral very often, sometimes we dream the same things. I went to a psychic and shaman for insights, and I have so many past lives with her. Its so amazing and so many things happened I could write a book about it.

Also, I experience the split-soul, she actually posted about this too I wonder, it might be because these two other parts of my soul represent the way I expressed before, intellectually and verbally (Andreas) and the attitude I had (Andras) ? These things are the only one that frustrate me but still, they dont stand in the way of my happiness. http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum35/HTML/005090.html

posted April 22, 2016 09:39 PM            

you might want to read about the Sigmund Freud's theory on Death Wish, or Death Drive, or "Todestrieb" in German.

posted April 23, 2016 05:03 AM            

athenegoddess, I guess so, my inner self is tired I guess. Im an old soul, I know it and feel like I dont belong in this society and new world, not even this planet. In nature I feel at home tho. It might be an inner call somewhere, back to the roots.

posted April 23, 2016 09:32 AM            

My chart is similar to yours, our ASCs are conjunct. I have Pisces filling my 8H.

I can relate to what you are saying. I prefer to just take whatever comes and relax. The hysteria generated around the whole idea of dying is scarier to me than death itself.

If I got cancer, I like to think I would handle it with acceptance, grace, and humor, the way you are handling it.

posted April 26, 2016 04:44 PM            

Positiveness and humor are one of the best medicine around! It may sound hyporithical for some, but I laughed about my cancer, made jokes. I don't think is a death sentence or a burden for me, but a warning, a wake up sign in some way.
Thank you kindly for your nice words

posted April 27, 2016 09:53 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gundahar:
@Faith
Exactly! Death is not a punishment, its not erasing, eliminating something, is returning to the primordial form (energy), back to the roots and continue our ascension.

Positiveness and humor are one of the best medicine around! It may sound hyporithical for some, but I laughed about my cancer, made jokes. I don't think is a death sentence or a burden for me, but a warning, a wake up sign in some way.
Thank you kindly for your nice words

---

My pleasure, and I know exactly what you mean. If I ever get diagnosed with cancer, I have my reaction planned out!

You doctors with your sad faces won't control me! I'm gonna laugh in defiance of your over-seriousness!

We are eternal after all, I do believe that.

Yes....laugh, enjoy, love and heal. Trust God.

It's all anyone can do.

*Hug*

posted April 28, 2016 09:07 AM            

How fitting for Pisces, no?

posted April 28, 2016 12:08 PM            

Generally speaking, Sun/Jupiter (especially together!) represents the "sunny", bright, positive side of life and Saturn represents dark thoughts, depression, death, etc. Opposition is always a very intense energy, both in a good and bad way.

This can mean that when you are in a good mood (thanks to the Cancer placements you can be moody) you are grateful for everything your have and appreciate all the good things in life, but once the Capricorn side of the opposition becomes dominant you wish you would die (Saturn is the anti life force, and since yours is in Capricorn, in its own sign, it's super influential). Just like the Moon (the ruling planet of Cancer) is always waxing and waning, always changing brightness and shape, you experience these negative thoughts coming in waves.

posted May 02, 2016 07:46 AM            

@diamondbaby
Hey that was a big eye opener, thank you very much! I am very cappy when it comes to matters like this. Thank you very much for your insight!!

@ilunatique
thank you for everything, for being here, for showing me what true love is

@aquagembaby
Pluto in Capricorn in this period, no wonder.

I would like to thank all of you for these responses, truly a morale booster.
Yet I thought alot about whats happening, and I will go one last time to live on the edge, my inner self craves for that. I will go bungee or skidiving next week, wish me luck, its now or never! Im thinking also to take a deep datura trip, but this time go intense, anything that makes feel that kind of "alive" when you are between that thin line life/death.