posted May 30, 2016 12:20 PM
MissBlyss!!! {{{BIG HUG!!!! 
}}}What you're saying makes perfect sense, thank you!
I had been knocked out of the life race for a really long while. Started seeing my life begin to re-form and embers started glowing again after I thought everything was dead. It may be seeming to be excrutiatingly slow for me, but it's like I feel like a giant bird who had had its feathers mucked down with slithery silt in a flood. It's like I started to realize I can move my wing muscles, and I open my eyes and can see there is life around me. I need some good cleansing rains to clean me off, or, be dipped into an ocean's bath. Stand on the rocks, spread out my wings, feel the wind...
I guess I still shudder thinking of everything that's happened, and that I made it out of all that, alive! I just turned 61 years old yesterday. Lots of turning around and renewing 'what' there is, and taking inventory of what I have and am inside me.
quote--...what I am getting is that you really carry the power to make stuff happen. I think you will get some clarity if you can actually take the time to truly imagine what it would be like in a few different scenarios.
God has been good to me, MissBlyss. Things DO manifest in my life. I do realize that I have what I need inside to manifest?, and what I've really really needed is a 'tangible' to tie it to.
There are things that stir sooooo Powerfully and Intensely inside of me. There are feelings of how Powerfully I Love general-people and that I long to see the world become a Better and more Loving-Caring Nurturing Safe-Place to Be. I think my 'vibe' has carried that resonance and affects the places I put my attention and love to.
So, I HAVE been playing with my Imagination, then trying to look around the edges of that to see 'how' the things that attract me already, are produced.
For example, when I watch TV shows, or movies, I don't just get captured into the story, but my mind is thinking about angles, and shots, and colors and lines.
When youtubers make their videos, they do it to a green-screen, and their are audio panels and cameras involved. There are many small pieces that come together to make something somewhat complicated look so natural.
You're right about considering the "actual" lifestyle attached to some careers. (I had thought about becoming a doctor/medical-arena long time ago, but knew that when I get way toooooo sleep deprived my own immune system suffers much.)
I tend to be a workaholic when I'm doing something I really love. I can/have worked 19 hours straight, for four-five days a week, THEN I need that 3 days off, a couple times a month, mostly.
Owning one's own business.... I did that once-upon-a-time with a spouse (who embezzled then ruined-- he had a kind of greed and gambling-type addiction). I'd worked as a 'professional temp' in my life and saw all the different angles of being in a business, including all the personality-based things that hinder or increase flows.
Do you want to be your own boss? I see myself as working independently FOR someone as background, with a strong say. As long as I am 'heard' and considered, I don't mind going with the flow of things. They just better be HONEST people, or it's a no-go for me.
Try to really put yourself in the reality of a situation... This is what I've been straining at. I've seen and been in the operations of businesses (20+ yrs experience). I've been a part of all the day-to-day things. As a temp, you enter doing all the jobs that no one else wanted to do-- then when they see who you are and like your work and even the customers gravitate and request services from 'the temp'?, then that company will FIND ways to keep you busy with their own company to keep you out of the loop to be snatched-up by the market.
(I said that, just to help some people in case they were interested in finding a way to be successful doing that. There's a lot of seat-of-the-pantsuits training available in business enterprises if you take on that kind of work IN an industry you are interested in pursuing. .... I had learned every single position in two separate systems of stockbrokerages back in the 1980s. I could instantly stop what I was doing in one seat and take over immediate operations in the next, as needs demanded it.) But that was then.... this is now. I don't have the kinds of "technology" skills today it would take to walk into a job--(But I KNOW that I am very trainable, learn fast-- decided 'not' to worry so much about this piece of it recently. I'll let whoever takes me, train me specifically tailored for their needs. Took a LOT of weight off me when I decided to let go of taking responsibility for that worry.).
You need to figure out what you want first. Spend a good amount of time placing yourself in situations so you can actually see what you want to work towards!
I 'feel' like I don't know enough about what's out there and available to do.
I believe I want to (dreaming) be involved in a giant boardroom of sorts. People who do philanthropic things. I want my hands involved doing work with people who really really CARE to do Good Performed in this world. At least, this is PART of my Dream.
RELATIONSHIPS....
What do you want in a partner? I don't want someone who puts all kinds of pressure pressure pressure pressure pressure on me. Ha! I do THAT enough TO my OWN myself! 
... I want someone affectionate, yet not clingy. Someone independent, yet needs me to be in his life somehow. Someone who respects me needing space, yet is at the SAME time instantly close and even telepathically. Someone who's a good kisser and likes cuddling, (LOL), who doesn't mind separate beds if need one too (gotta get my sleep)!
I want someone I can be incredibly proud of, who is active doing Good, AND has supportive time and advice to give me for my own personal side projects. I want to feel intimately involved in whatever business or transactions he's involved with, even if I'm not involved. I desire a thoroughly Honest Man, upright, never mean or deliberately unkind. Someone widely learned who likes '~discussions' but not an angry-temperament. Loving, affectionate, stable, peaceloving, Not volatile, NOT an addict/gambler/alcoholic, but not a teatotler either (I do enjoy a glass of champagne from time to time).
I want to be doing important work with this person, in a nifty Parallel way. To travel together to places. Together, and strong-- yet able to be apart, then together like there is never any distance between us.
Faithful, Kind, Simple, True, A Man who loves Music, A Man who loves Art, Respects the Spirit World, and Thinks with His Heart.........
(words in a song, Ready for Love, by The India Arie)
(music) Ready For Love (The India Arie, lyrics) [4:29] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moOXLgd519I
AND!!!!
(music) Are You Strong Enough? (Sheryl Crow & Stevie Nicks, discussion in first minute about women and careers that put stress on trying to find a partner) [4:20] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCYAuTFjAL8
Lindaland
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posted May 29, 2016 10:16 PM
posted May 29, 2016 10:58 PM
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