posted June 23, 2016 09:50 PM            

I was supposed to graduate from college this past May, but I ended up having to do another year.

I don't get along with my parents, my family, but mostly my father. He's very cruel and verbally abussive (He has Sun square Saturn/ Mercury) and my mother is the total opposite, but for the sake of peace, she won't intervene.

The plan was to stay home until I graduated from College, but my father recently came home from prison and him being in the household has caused a lot of heated arguments and confusion. We do not get along. It's funny because I used to idolize my father even though he was cruel back then too. I guess now that I'm older, I'm tired of it. Anyway, I'm in a lot of emotional pain because I feel like everyone I thought loved me, isn't here to support me. I feel alone and vulnerable. Every aspect of my life is in flames.

I'll be moving out soon and I'm terrified. I feel like this was sudden and I had no time to plan. I'm moving into a college apartment in my hometown and close to campus so it's not major, but I know things will never go back to how they used to be after this move is made. I'm nervous and I don't know what to expect. I have so much anger and recentment towards my parents, but I love them so it's hard finding a positive and effective way of dealing will all of this. I smoke constantly. I have never felt this low in my life. My family all secretly wants to see me fail. My family is really messed up, my emotiona aside. It's horrible and the only thing keeping me going is the thought that someone always has it worse and I kinda do love my self enough to want more for myself. Once I move out and establish even an ounce of security, I'll feel better. Until then, I'm in hell.

When will hell be over?

Will it ever end?

When will Pluto fall exactly on my moon?

When will these Uranus and Pluto transits end?

Please help me.

posted June 23, 2016 10:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ayujegeg:
I say move out, with all that 6th house energy, you'll be fine with financial security, material security etc. The constant emotional upheavals you experience in the house will suck the life out of you and make you depressed.

Emotional health comes first before financial security. If you feel emotionally balanced everything else will fall to place.

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Thank you for saying that.
I need to hear someone else's point of view outside of my own and my environment.

and I feel the same.

I crave the comfort of my roots, but I like having my own tree and the way I like it.. if that makes sense.

I find I'm most content when I'm left alone in my own clean personal space being productive focused on tomorrow's duties. That's as peaceful as it gets.

posted June 23, 2016 10:25 PM            

You like your family roots? Seems like that area of your life to me looks a bit tarnished. You shouldn't be really concerned with that because 4th house is empty. And I don't think you've had any proper strong roots, to be honest.

posted June 23, 2016 10:49 PM            

First of all, Venus rules your chart, so i am very sorry that your mom is not standing up for you for the sake of keeping the peace. This is a let down.

Looks like you will have to move out. so plan to do that. You can always come back with your tails between your legs if things don't work out. You're young and you're allowed to make mistakes. After all, your dad has made serious mistakes too, so don't let him or anyone in the family make you feel less than.

posted June 24, 2016 12:50 AM            

I empathize with your challenges and with that Moon in Libra,it is likely that you always try to keep a positive spin on things-this even when they are going from bad to worse.

The resentment may come from those Scorpio planets. And you have quite a few I must say. And Scorpio does not forget. So this energy is the antithesis to your Moon in Libra -which wants to just get along.

But you do have some anger to express or you could be a particularly touchy person who is moody and volatile-as Mars in Sag in the 7th house suggests that there are people external to you(7th)that can push you to anger(Mars).

Now transiting Saturn went retrograde recently and is opposing your Asc and forming a conjunction to your Desc.

In the equal house system,this transit affects the Mc/Ic axis as well. So whilst other people can make one feel unsupported and alienated(Saturn conjunct 7th), it is also because you project this "separateness" from an instictive level(Saturn opposjng the Asc)

So right now,your instinctive actions that you may not be readily be recognizing, is that of someone who is closed off from others,projecting self-sufficiency and stoicism.

If you are not clear on what your instinctive actions are,the 7th house is an excellent "feedback". As its conjunction to Saturn -feeling unsupported or unloved by others etc. Is an indication of how you seem/come across to others right now.

The challenges may also seep into your place in the family(IC) or where you feel you belong- as well as your ambitions and what you want to go out and achieve(MC)

The family may be taxing you(Saturn on the Ic) and this adds to a more narrower view of your career (Saturn on Mc) adding feelings of "will I ever get it done? It just seems like such a long road." etc.

Watch out for that transit of Saturn to your Mars in 7th- as dome time this year, things may implode.

I wonder what you are studying? Saturn is the ruler of your 9th house and the delay in you finishing what you are doing does suggest that Uranus (co-ruler of your Aquarius Saturn),does spring some suprises-however unpleasant and delaying.

Add to this, Neptune/Uranus conjunct in the 9th. So we have confusion(Neptune) and unexpected surprises (Uranus) that are currently being tranisted by(surprises) Uranus in Aries, that adds to the frustration -all in the 9t house of higher education and qualification.

You may complete your qualification when Uranus goes out of Aries altogether and conjuncts your Mc/Ic axis. As that will open a new life for you. As this aspect in the equal house system also affects the Ac/Dsc point.

At the moment,things do seem a litte chaotic.In fact,it may seem that your peace of mind (Moon in Libra) is being antagonized (Uranus in Aries opposition).

I suspect however, that this is an introduction of relationship changes that Uranus in Uranus will initiate, transiting Saturn in Cap will continue and Pluto Cap will finish off.

You like me, have the Mc/Ic axis in early Aquarius/Leo respectively. And with Uranus preparing to dance around there in the coming years(and with Saturn/Pluto not far behind). You and I will have to make tough decisions about our place in the world(MC) and the conditions at home(IC).

I have Pluto squaring my Mc/Ic axis and have some issues with my family that have long stood unacknowledged. So these coming years will be "crunch" time for me too

My Mars in Libra/Cancer Moon/Capricorn Mercury T-square that reacts with your Moon in Libra,are sending you positive vibrations

posted June 24, 2016 07:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ayujegeg:
Your 6th house energy makes you force to be really productive everyday, you would probably fine living on your own.

You like your family roots? Seems like that area of your life to me looks a bit tarnished. You shouldn't be really concerned with that because 4th house is empty. And I don't think you've had any proper strong roots, to be honest.

I'm not saying you should forget your parents/home, but it seems family life even from the start was weak/damaged thus I don't see a point in trying to build and fix on that when that foundation is rocky to start with.

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I feel confident in maintaining myself once I'm settled, but it's getting to that point that's terrifying. I know everyone has to go through it at some point, but I feel like I'm a lot furthee behind in terms of emotional maturity than many people my age. I admit, I'm a late bloomer in this area. I wasn't in a rush to leave home but under these sudden and unconfortable circumstances, it has to be done very soon.

And it's funny you say that, I never really was all that close to anyone in my family except my parents and my grandmother and sister until they died. My family has always been very manipulative, money hungry, emotionally distant, and selfish. My cousins used to gang up on me and tease me. My oldest cousin kicked me in my face when we were still in Elementary School. The only family stability and deep love I recieved was from my parents. You were dead on with that statement.

posted June 24, 2016 07:52 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ayujegeg:
I just wanna know about your 6th house energy, because in my chart it's empty thus I don't think about day to day and strict day to day schedules.

I'm sure you must have some kind of strict routine/health regime that you're implementing everyday.

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Haha, it's actually quite the opposite lately.

posted June 24, 2016 07:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:
I looked at your chart, and I couldn't find the reason for the emotional pain that's unbearable, until I saw that you have transit Mars squaring your Saturn. You do have Sun square Saturn natally, and Mars is activating this.

First of all, Venus rules your chart, so i am very sorry that your mom is not standing up for you for the sake of keeping the peace. This is a let down.

Looks like you will have to move out. so plan to do that. You can always come back with your tails between your legs if things don't work out. You're young and you're allowed to make mistakes. After all, your dad has made serious mistakes too, so don't let him or anyone in the family make you feel less than.

Carefully plan your exit. With Saturn currently transiting your 7th house, you don't have anyone to depend on, so put your big girl drawers on and plan on taking care of YOU. it's very hard to do when one has north node in 7th house, but those are the breaks with Saturn there at the moment. Just do it, try to extricate yourself while being nicey nicey to dad and the family. I mean, don't burn your bridges.

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Pluto isn't on my moon yet? Then why does it feel like it? and it's been this way since last June! Uranus has already passed over my moon once and will again once Uranus goes retrograde but when will Pluto fall on my moon and when will these transits end?

I have no time to plan. My parents are basically throwing me out as much as I want to make my exit.

posted June 24, 2016 08:10 AM            

My dad left when I was 12. He came home when I was 22 (January).

My parents accuse me of being very disrespectful but it's only when I retaliate against the abuse. My mother tells me all the time, she grew up in an era where you didn't talk back to your parents no matter how wrong the parent was. You kept your mouth shut. But the bizarre part about all of this is, while my dad was away, my mother did not reinforce half of these "rules" she puts out now. It's like we were doing things one way for 10 years and then he comes home and reaaranges everything and actually feels like he has the power and authority to do so. It's very frustrating. I call my father a tyrant. Sometimes I really wish he was dead and I hate that feeling because I know it's just my pain talking,

My father has called me all sorts of names. Called My mother names too but she's in love and they've been married for 25 years, together for 28, and known each other their whole lives. My father isn't as bad as he sounds in this thread because he has loving and very protective side (Taurus moon/ Venus, Mars in Cap). He called me whenever he could and wrote me constantly when he was in prison and I went to see him often. There's always two sides to a person and it wouldn't be fair to him if I just expressed the negative. His mother was very mentally ill suffering from extreme personality disorder or whatever it was called in the 60s. He never knew his father and he grew up in foster homes and orphanages. His father was a Cuban pimp and he lost touch with his little brother when he was 14 years old so I understand why he's so angry. I just never thought he would take it out on his child and now that I'm older, I see a lot of things more clearly than I ever did before and he feels insecure about it all. He feels exposed. I watch his behavior and his patterns.

He has Saturn square Sun-mercury. Plus Pluto squares his Sun. It's not hard to see he has a lot of insecurities and inferiority complex. My dad is a very hardworker but he's been in and out of prison his entire life so jobs are basically what he can find. Rarely anything stable and now that he's 50, he's starting realize how much he failed and how much he really hasn't done as a father and husband but ironically too, he tries to project this over-confident savior that comes to the rescue and keeps our household in order and my mother plays along even though she's told me I'm not wrong. I personally think my parents are dilusional because I don't see things or feel this way at all. Maybe it's me. My mother said I'll understand a lot better when I move out but I just think my dad is a bully and preys on anyone weaker than him to make himself feel bigger. He can't wait until I move out so there will be no one to make him feel vulnerable or exposed.

I feel this way because I just don't understand how someone can say hurtful belittling things to their child just to get a reaction unless he had his own insecurities to battle within himself. Its a very unfortunate position to be in when everyone is against you.

posted June 24, 2016 08:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by cherful24:
I get nothing but excited times for u. Ur gonna be so happy, relieved, at peace...and met some good friends. Seriously!

So don't be scared because this is going to be very well for u!

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Are you just saying that or do you see something transitwise that supports that?

posted June 25, 2016 04:01 PM            

Do your very best to focus on your life and what you want to create for yourself. There are no easy answers. I understand what you are saying about your parents and lack of support. What you are going through is more than I ever had to deal with.

Tell yourself over and over with feeling that you can do this, you can create your own life. Have some serious, passionate talks with yourself and invite the universe in ... Assert and Affirm what you are creating. Have a clear picture of what you want - support, doors of opportunity clearly open.

Personally, I think it is best you focus in this way, rather than anticipate negatives related to the timing of future transits. They will come, but are generally not as dramatic or negative as we imagine. Build upon your hopes, not upon fear.

Your prog Moon is pretty nearly exactly parallel natal Venus: can be a time of feeling far more tender and vulnerable than usual, especially with Venus in Scorpio; not a bad aspect, but a short one; use it to resolve to live by your values follow your heart.

Your prog Venus is now exactly conjuct natal Mars: time to take action to benefit yourself.

quote:

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Originally posted by Yanmorg:
Do you think I'll be successful in moving out?

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DO IT, and don't accept failure. Commit to it because you are committed to your own well being and happiness in life.

Don't get locked into did/didn't, or succeeded/failed. Create backup options for yourself. Look for them, because they are there. Draw the line at this abuse and the toxic situation, because you and the universe both know you deserve better!

You've got some supportive transits now with Jupiter coming parallel your natal Pluto (excellent!), sextile your natal Sun (then Pluto), and trine your natal Uranus-Neptune. These frame up a good window of opportunity, but there are others later as well.

Towards the end of the year Jupiter will begin its conjunction to your Moon.

Uranus in transit opposite your natal Moon indicates the domestic instability and the urge to move. That transit will not be fully over until around May 2017. So use it as it adds energy dynamic of 'change' to the other Jupiter aspects I mentioned.