posted July 11, 2016 09:41 AM            

I posted a topic a while ago about having a fight with someone I've been involved with for an year and a half... Things got a bit better soon after, with him showing more willing to talk to me and trying to explain himself... However, he did so in confusing ways and not really acknowledging that his attitudes towards me were not good...

He apologized for hurting me, and not for what he's done, and that made a difference to me... I told him that at this time I wasn't able to say that I forgive him, but I would try... Thinking, of course, that he would make the effort to still talk to me and make amends, for the sake of our friendship, at least. I got a reply after that... And the day afterwards I replied him back, clarifying what was hard for me to understand, what actually really hurt me... This was on Thursday afternoon, and I still haven't heard from him.

I don't want to believe that he would just permanently ignore me like this, leaving me hanging and completely devalueing everything we had and went through, our friendship, most of all... I have a gut feeling that he hasn't replied because he knows he did wrong and doesn't know how to solve the situation and deal with it. Plus he has been busy with stuff, which is an excuse for him to leave this aside... But this attitude only hurts me more. It's hard for me to witness these attitudes, after everything that I put myself through for him and what I believed we shared...

I feel like I need closure and I don't know how to get it. I don't want to contact him, I don't feel that I'm the one in the place to do so... I can't be the only adult all the time and he doesn't deserve that extra effort. Could someone please try to see if I will hear from him? Will he reply to me? Or even what's going on on his mind... I'm just in dark here with this silence.

posted July 11, 2016 10:49 AM            

The thing with most men is that they hate feeling guilty and responsible, so well upsetting as it is, there's nothing to be done about this. I don't have my cards ATM, but I'd say a more reliable way of getting closure is within yourself or by doing something of symbolical/ritualistic nature. I feel that you shouldn't blame / punish yourself for the way it worked out, because you never did anything wrong.

posted July 11, 2016 11:02 AM            

9 swords
10 swords

You are worried that thee friendship is going to end

8 of pentacles
10 of pentacles
7 wands
He just has not responded because he has been so busy with work and trying to stay on top of everything he has to do to keep his job.

2 of wands
The fool
The knight of wands
He still wants to be friends and make a fresh start I think he will respond soon

I asked if he would respond ( call, text, email ) soon
Three of wands so yes he will respond soon.

posted July 11, 2016 11:19 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by vesta:
No need to worry,

9 swords
10 swords

You are worried that thee friendship is going to end

8 of pentacles
10 of pentacles
7 wands
He just has not responded because he has been so busy with work and trying to stay on top of everything he has to do to keep his job.

2 of wands
The fool
The knight of wands
He still wants to be friends and make a fresh start I think he will respond soon

I asked if he would respond ( call, text, email ) soon
Three of wands so yes he will respond soon.

Empowerment
Creation - remember your thoughts shape your future.
Your words create today. Your choices become your reality.

---

I just saw your reading now vesta, you're an angel. Thank you so much, I can relate to the present things you said about me and him... My biggest worry is indeed that the friendship is over and and in his speech, he mentioned that he was busy and had a lot of his mind, as an excuse for his behaviour...

He was never one to just leave me hanging like he just doesn't care at all about me and any of this, so at this point I even find myself thinking was I ever wrong to think that I was someone important to him, that what we had was meaningful... The bad thing about this silence is that it just fuels my mind to overthink on things... I really just want to let it be and leave the action on his side.

Thank you again, I wil let you know. xx I hope you're right and I will try to focus on myself and stay positive in regards to what's to come in the future... Shaping my future with my thoughts, eh

posted July 11, 2016 11:45 AM            

You know, a question for me is what the hell is going on in my life ? LoL
So, I figured out G is not my TF he is my soulmate. And J who I thought was my soulmate is actually my TF.

posted July 11, 2016 03:13 PM            

You and G

I feel more baggage between you and G. than with J... The energy feels heavier here, almost as if it reached a block, a point where no progression is possible because you can't unlock whatever difficulties you went through. Not to say that it is impossible, but you do need some time away from each other, some distance, for you both to purify your energies in relation to one another. But it doesn't seem to me that this will have a romantic future... I find it hard to see you close even in the future, I believe life will take you on different paths gradually and in a very natural way.

You and J

With this one I see more action coming, he is not one to give up easily. And he has you present on his mind, he can't quite shake off the thought of you.But I'm feeling you very guarded towards him... I don't feel you fully trust him, is that correct? And I don't see him as mature as you to be honest, but he does have loyalty towards you. This person changed you, turned you into a more daring woman, made you take some risks you didn't think you would... I sense a more friendly vibe around you guys for perhaps until the end of the year, and I actually would say that you'd be the one to put a few blocks on this getting romantic... But much complicity, I see you hanging out, enjoying each others' presence... I like the feel of this one better

posted July 12, 2016 04:32 PM            

Sorry took me a bit long

I asked how you can get closure, used the Hermetic deck

4 wands - 8 swords - 5 wands

Basically this situation has taken something crucial away from you - the feeling of comfort coming from the person who made you feel like home. So now you're kind of feeling homeless, emotionally and you don't know how to get that feeling back. Also I felt like my heart was squeezed, you know the way it feels after crying too much.

My cards seem to advise that you acknowledge your anger and work though it, own it and live it. I don't know how. Extreme sports or a letter you'll burn after writing, but simply let it get hold of you as then let it go

I pulled a coupla more cards: king of swords - 7 wands

This is a reminder to keep tabs on yourself or rather observe yourself. Whatever you choose to do should be done without abandoning logical reasoning. So do observe your emotions and how they change as you process them.

7 of wands is called Lord of Valour in this deck, so it's about doing emotional weeding with courage, ditching what no longer serves you

posted July 13, 2016 07:30 PM            

I'll try to do your reading tommorrow, if not on Friday for sure. I'm sorry, I've been busy with paperworks and haven't had the time to do much else today.

posted July 17, 2016 12:10 PM            

I'm really sorry again for the delay but I've been having a lot of last minute work to handle! I'm in the very final stages of my major, so it's been time consuming. :P

I decided to pull some oracles cards for you, for this question, if that is okay. So I felt drawn to pull three cards which basically describe the process of how you can unblock those blocks that you feel are affecting you. Then I pulled a final card which is basically descriptive of the whole situation. I'm using the Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards, by the way, and I'll leave the messages on the card too for you to know.

1. Aeracura - Blossiming: "You are just getting started, so have patience with yourself and the process, and do not give up". So this, to me, tells me that you just begun to realize what's working well and what's not for you, and you are beginning the process of changing those things/mentalities that have a negativa impact on you. Of course, as the card says, patience is needed and this won't be done overnight. But it's a start and a good omen that you're on a successful path.

2. Eireen - Peace: "There is no need to worry, as everything is working out beautifully". A reenforcement of the first card picked. Also I should say that this card shows a woman holding a baby... This tells me that you definitely have support around you and you can rely on others to help you overcome your obstacles. Trust those you feel are worthy of it and you will not regret it.

3. Cordelia - Go outside: "You have been indoors too long. Go outside and get some fresh air". Well, here's a solution for you lol. Well, not a solution, but certainly something that may help... Make an effort to go out, even when you don't feel like to. But don't just go anywhere... Make sure you are in contact with nature and not particularly with the industrial side of the city etc, as this is what this card suggests me. This is also a reminder that you need to work on staying grounded and not feeding your worries, those ideas that you get in your mind that have not even happened. Just focus on the present situation and let yourself be touched by nature.

4. (Final Card) Athena - Inner Wisdom: "You know what to do. Trust your inner wisdom, and take appropriate action without delay". Your inner self knows the way, see. Don't lose hope, this problem can certainly be fixed.

posted July 17, 2016 12:22 PM            

About those last couple of cards, everytime I feel my heart taking over and finding myself thinking of contacting him etc., I immediatly put a block to it and let my logical thinking take over. No matter how much I'd like to have a conversation with him, I absolutely cannot be the one reaching out after all that happened. After he decided to not reply to me. I can't... So I'm valueing myself now. He has to be the one making the effort now, otherwise things will basically stay like this because I won't move a finger. Even if we meet in person, I won't say a word to him. He just hurt me so much and made it so much worse by ignoring me now, no matter how busy he may be... That was not a decent attitude to have towards a friend, essentially.

posted July 17, 2016 01:44 PM            

these sort of personality who take ZERO accountability for their actions is very narcissistic. i am not saying this person is, but if this person cannot accept that they did wrong with you, hurt you. in their head, (and i truly say this, that they believe this) that they didn't DO WRONG with you.

i have also suffered a great deal with the same similar situation. it took me a very long time to even understand in a rational way and kept asking why this person just cannot admit. THEY ARE WHO THEY ARE. it's a disease. NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) people think they are special, and they cannot do wrong. they cannot empathize. that is why they would just keep hurting others, with zero consequence on their part. IE. they could not care less.

it's best you stop asking for this closure. work on yourself, love yourself, take care of yourself. stop investing any more energy on this person. they cannot give you the emotional intimacy that you seek, because they are hallowed / empty inside.

posted July 19, 2016 06:30 AM            

I'm really sorry that you went through something similar, it's so tough. I'm glad that you were able to move on. I will try to emotionally detach myself a bit from this person, for my own well-being... It's hard though when there is a friendship involved. Ugh

We talked yesterday by the way... You were right vesta, looks like he is very busy, mainly with work stuff on his mind.

Thank you all