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ProxyxBlue
Knowflake

Posts: 921
From:
Registered: Jul 2014

posted May 16, 2017 11:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ProxyxBlue     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm going through a lot right now and I have been for a few years now. Sometimes I get in moods when I just want to end it and I'm in one of those moods now. I'm in so much pain right now and I'm having a hard time controlling my emotions. Background for medical reasons, I suffer for anxiety disorder and depression. I've had thoughts like this since I was young. First time having these thoughts I was 12 years old. I'm 28 now.

Idk what to do anymore and I'm at work right now and it's really hard for me to put on a happy demeanor when I feel so broken right now. I'm in my car taking a break crying because I could feel myself getting ready to break down and didn't want anyone to see me crying.

Not sure why I posted this here, probably to vent, so someone can listen, idk...I really don't know anymore. I feel so lost.

Anyways...that's all I guess.

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intuitivefish
Knowflake

Posts: 8410
From: Europe
Registered: Aug 2014

posted May 16, 2017 12:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for intuitivefish     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wish I had some good advice or words of wisdom but all I can offer now is a big big hug .

Love n light

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imeanj
Knowflake

Posts: 2433
From:
Registered: Feb 2013

posted May 16, 2017 12:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for imeanj     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So I know we are supportive here, but it would be good to get help in real life.

Also, if you need grounding try lying on the ground preferably in the woods, but a lawn is good. Or literally go hug a tree. Sounds weird but it helps!

Sending positive vibes.

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LunarLove
Knowflake

Posts: 608
From:
Registered: Jan 2014

posted May 16, 2017 12:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LunarLove     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ProxyBlue,
You are not alone. I am glad you posted, this is a safe place to speak. I too suffer from similar stuff and many a time I have had to go out and cry. If I could, I would get in the car with you.❤️
Recently I have been listening to these YouTube videos when I go to sleep- they are specific wavelengths (binaural beats, solfeggio frequencies) that are supposed to activate certain parts of the brain. I never heard of this before but stumbled upon it recently- it is kind of beautiful.
I think sensitive sensitive people have difficulties in the world but really I think it can only get better for us, it's what I would like to believe.
I give you a hug through the internet and please know you are not alone.

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poochycat
Knowflake

Posts: 4156
From: Vancouver, Canada
Registered: Jun 2013

posted May 16, 2017 12:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for poochycat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Proxy,

I'm hoping you will make an appointment with your Doctor who will guide you in the right direction. Friends and relatives will mean well but they are not professionals who can help you through counseling and medication. I hope you will reach out. Just do it. Help is there for you. It doesn't have to cost you a lot of money, there are alternative and you deserve to be happy. Poochy XX

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Empty Spaces
Knowflake

Posts: 1608
From:
Registered: Jun 2015

posted May 16, 2017 12:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Empty Spaces     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I imagine how you feel 💙 I've been depressed once and I'm having terrible periods again when no matter what I do I can't stop the feeling that I don't want to be here anymore. I don't wish this to anyone else.

Do you have a journal?? It helps to release the pain,write things down here once in a while too,as you did today.(Did you see the sweet peas section?)I'm sure people will listen to you.Don't be afraid to cry,when we are overwhelmed by emotions we don't think clearly.

Do you likes sports?
Yoga?
Ever tried meditation?Can help you to keep your feet on the present.Anxiety steal our present :/

Do you have something that you really wanted to do but think you ain't enough?

💙💙💙💙💙💙 All my love for you dear!

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Empty Spaces
Knowflake

Posts: 1608
From:
Registered: Jun 2015

posted May 16, 2017 12:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Empty Spaces     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
I'm hoping you will make an appointment with your Doctor who will guide you in the right direction.

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Springtimeflower
Knowflake

Posts: 1689
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2014

posted May 16, 2017 01:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Springtimeflower     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Proxy,

If you're 28, then it sounds like you're now experiencing your Saturn return astrologically, which can make any tendencies you have to what you described in your post seem even worse.

The quote I remember for this is: "This, too, shall pass." Listening to music you enjoy that is upbeat or soothing or doing something nice for yourself can be helpful. Remember, too, that you are not alone.

Take care,
Spring

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lola
Knowflake

Posts: 127
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted May 16, 2017 09:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lola     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ProxyxBlue:
I'm going through a lot right now and I have been for a few years now. Sometimes I get in moods when I just want to end it and I'm in one of those moods now. I'm in so much pain right now and I'm having a hard time controlling my emotions. Background for medical reasons, I suffer for anxiety disorder and depression. I've had thoughts like this since I was young. First time having these thoughts I was 12 years old. I'm 28 now.

Idk what to do anymore and I'm at work right now and it's really hard for me to put on a happy demeanor when I feel so broken right now. I'm in my car taking a break crying because I could feel myself getting ready to break down and didn't want anyone to see me crying.

Not sure why I posted this here, probably to vent, so someone can listen, idk...I really don't know anymore. I feel so lost.

Anyways...that's all I guess.



Hang in there!! Been riding a roller coaster for a while now, but I believe things will take a positive turn.

Find something positive, just 1 thing that cheers you up.

My stresses have thrown off my body, but still holding on.

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Love&Light
Knowflake

Posts: 1651
From: India
Registered: Oct 2011

posted May 17, 2017 02:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Love&Light     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey Proxyblue lots of love to you. What I try to do at such times is stay connected to my inner self. In the heart. That is the only permanent connection we have. I feel rest of the world is an illusion. People, things and places come and go or may be there but the equations change. Some may not have anyone close. So stay tuned in to yourself and you will feel great. Joy is great. It is just there irrespective of what you are doing in your life. So you feel good unconditionally and then such happiness can be infectious. It spreads around and what we give comes back to us. So sooner than later it comes back from our surroundings. Try to work on your inner self. Love yourself. The GOD within and you will find him around too. LOVE. Am telling you out of my own experience. May GOD bless you.

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colorful butterfly
Knowflake

Posts: 1426
From: USA
Registered: May 2015

posted May 18, 2017 12:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for colorful butterfly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I find when life pulls you down and the worst is weighing you down then the best thing to do is to start to look up. Think on things that make you happy, I know this can be difficult but happiness is a state of mind. There is this thing called CBT, please please look into it. It is about changing your thoughts which controls your feelings. Think of things that you are thankful for and that can be as simple as having people on here that care about you. Think of things that are going right in your life vs things that are not. It is so easy to dwell on the negative and this will only bring you down. If you can force your self every time you think of a negative thought to replace it with a positive one then your one step away to beating depression and feeling bad. It can be hard at first but write a list of positive things, watch things that make you laugh, smile and focus on the positive. Life will get better, always remember what goes down must eventually come up. Happiness is always a state of mind. ( something I try to remind myself of on a constant as well)

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Magikaal
Knowflake

Posts: 454
From: Oz
Registered: Apr 2016

posted May 18, 2017 05:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Magikaal     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sorry to hear this Proxy. I would second the journal writing suggestion. And if you can, are you able to find a good counsellor?

Positive vibes going out to you...

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ProxyxBlue
Knowflake

Posts: 921
From:
Registered: Jul 2014

posted May 21, 2017 10:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ProxyxBlue     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice. I'll have to personally respond back later when I'm off from work. I'm feeling better today, and I'm hoping that it stays like that for a while.

(Also I'd like to mention that I do journal quite often. I have a gratitude journal and one for just my thoughts; for both positive and negative. I also cannot afford to go to the doctors at the moment. I do have insurance but I cannot afford to go or else I would have gone to one by now, and I have spoken to a psychotherapist before. But anyway! Thank you everyone.)

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 79897
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 24, 2017 11:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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