posted August 04, 2017 09:49 AM            

Hello! Hope you don’t mind, but I was wondering if I could practise on some questions. I thought your question about moving forward was a ‘good’ question and looked interesting. I wanted to practise with my new deck, so I did a reading for your question. I hope you don’t mind.
Please bear in mind that this is a crystal deck, I’ve barely used it and the cards can be quite nebulous in meaning.

1. intention [Shiva Lingam]
Symbolizes uniting dualities and manifesting the creative force. If you are feeling battered by life, then maybe reframe it in the sense that you are being refined and shaped (go with the flow). If you were hurt/abused, be kind and compassionate to yourself. Getting back to basics and putting passion into your life. What is it that you love to do? Even if it is a hobby? Get in touch with it and do it (if you are not doing it already). Integrate your energies to produce your creative power. This may give you the momentum forward. In this position I think this is saying you do want to go forward in an effortless way but it is proving difficult.
2. what’s holding you back (I felt this to resonate quite strongly) [Lapis Lazuli]
Take charge of your life. Look into the past to put the present in perspective. The energy here is that you are trying hard to achieve something but the channels/avenues which you are using are outmoded and are not right for you. Your purpose is noble. Study or research might be indicated – however in this position I wonder if you have researched too many avenues and are overwhelmed. It might be referring to a new way of looking at an old problem.
3. Action required [Graphic smoky quartz]
Taking a shamanic journey to the depths of your soul to facilitate healing at a deeper level. Looking inward to the cause. I think you said you had tried something like this but it didn’t work. Do you do any dreamwork or similar? Could even indicate checking past lives here. The crystal’s metaphysical properties says it stabilizes while you explore other dimensions. I am not sure what methods you have tried but the cards seem to indicate looking deep within.
4. Outcome [menalite]
The wise feminine. Withdrawing yourself into your inner world, moving is not a good idea at this time. Healing through meditation. Bide your time. Put aside your fear and remember that transitions are prerequisites to growth.
Overall, there is a constant thread of going inward to heal at a deeper level. When I looked at your initial question I thought it was something at a soul level which is why I picked this deck to answer.

I drew an oracle card from my other new deck and it said to let go of fear, take small steps and celebrate each step as you do so.

posted August 05, 2017 11:49 AM            

This theme "going within" isn't new for me Appears all the time! what happens is that I feel like a found a road with that leads to nowhere and I don't know where to go now.I tried meditation for a while,a long while but I didn't see to much progress you know? I got extremelly bored (the curse of having gemini on natal chart lol ) because I wanted a change and nothing happened.I felt like despise the inner peace I was achieving I was still more stuck than ever so I gave up.That sounds like a brat but I wasn't on my better state of mind.I'm still not on my best state.

1- I admit I'm not going with the flow.Especially latelly.Mostly because I'm unemployed again and that is driving me nuts.I'm feeling afraid now about making a wrong decision,not find another job this year etc .

About the hurt...Some people here saw a controlling man on my readings that caused me problems.The only man who hurt my feelings was my father.Besides being controlling I was very tormented as a kid because he drunk too much and fight too mucb but I didn't know he had caused too much harm because is not something I keep thinking about.I thought that I forgot it but maybe it's hurt where I can't see.

Hum..I don't have many hobbies.The only thing I truly love is creating videos on SV but when I think I'm spending my time with this and the year is about to end I feel angry with myself.I think what I'm gaining with this? It's not like I'm on college and I will reap the fruits in the future.Plus my dad is getting angry with me because I'm not finding a job and I'm never went to college (I don't know which curse I should choose).All this is causing me too much stress.I literally don't have one minute of peace. It's kinda ironic how my father is the one who gives me the most pressure to achieve things in life.He looks to me as if I was a failure.

*though I love video edition I don't think I would like to pick a course with this theme because is highly different from what I do.What I like the most about the videos is the creative process.Doing something new.Like crossovers between two tv shows,something that creates a different story.

2- I don't what my purpose is, I have no idea actually lol I tried to find though,thinking about myself and what I like but I still have no clue.I'm doing personality tests to see what I pick about myself but it doesn't give me much.I recently discovered that I'm ultra-sensitive which makes sense with my moon in 1st house What do you mean with noble?

quote:

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or research might be indicated – however in this position I wonder if you have researched too many avenues and are overwhelmed. It might be referring to a new way of looking at an old problem.

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I tried to find my purpose.That's what you mean? or is another type of research that you're talking about?

3- I tried meditation.I tried spending times alone thinking about myself,what I like,dislike.(Trying to find who I am).I tried to analize my dreams and I did personality tests. Maybe these where weak methods?
Seems like the lake is dry now.I've seen other people with the exact same problem here.What is a shamanic journey?

4-

quote:

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moving is not a good idea at this time

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Another reader told me that too.
The problem is: the feeling that I'm wasting my time,more than I already have is killing me.I've been on this transition for a long time,I can't concentrate anymore.I can't wait

quote:

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I drew an oracle card from my other new deck and it said to let go of fear, take small steps and celebrate each step as you do so

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It makes a lot of sense I feel afraid but to be honest I don't even know the root of my fear.It's hard to find.

Tarot cards

I don't know much about tarot cards but it makes a lot of sense,I guess.I'm feeling disconnected you know?

Thank you very,very much Magikal I hope my feedback was enough.In case you want to know something just ask okay?

# Your reading reasonates a lot!!!

posted August 12, 2017 11:44 PM            

If you love creating videos on SV (I don't even know what SV is lol) find some way to keep this going in your spare time especially if you don't have any other hobbies. Is there anything else you like to do? Have you tried anything else? Maybe you will have to try something to see if you like it and if you don't then just say ok it's not for me.

What are your goals? Do you have a list? Have you tried keeping a journal? Do you like writing? Try writing out your problems and see if that helps. If you like creation, have you tried creative writing?

Don't beat yourself up thinking you don't know what your purpose is. Maybe you have several. e.g. 1) your video creating abilities 2) your sensitivity and how to make use of it 3) your restless energy which can be channelled into various activities. Maybe your purpose will become clearer along the way. Don't let this get you down. It's not like you have to solve it right this minute.

Gemini energy may not be compatible with peaceful meditation. When you meditate do you listen to specific music or instructions? Personally I can't just sit there and ommmm out. I have specific meditation journeys like one is a money meditation, one is 'align with star energy' meditation etc. These are from the Orin/DaBen website. They have a few free ones but you have to pay for others. Or there might be some on YouTube. I put these on my player and listen to it and go into a meditative state. Then a lady starts speaking instructions. It definitely shifts the energy. LIke there is a point to the meditation, I really like these. Actually I should do these some more also lol.

So you tried to analyse your dreams? With the shamanic journeys (I think it's like a journey deep into your subconscious) I thought this was referring to some kind of dream work (do you have a dream journal?) Maybe you have to write out your dreams when you wake up and see what comes up there.

Have you seen a careers coounsellor? (not sure if you have one where you are but you might need an independent opinion from a professional) if simple personality tests are not working. Have you tried putting up your chart for analysis yet and if so, did you get any useful feedback?

If you are not sure about what course to do, did you see some course advisors in the college and talk to them? Maybe they can give you some good advice. Do you know anyone who had done similar courses so you can talk to them?

I don't like the sound of your controlling father. Especially since other readers have also mentioned it. I think this is important. You will have to find some way to deal with him and not let him get to you. I had over controlling parents. They thought they were doing the best for me and what they were really doing was destroying me, my identity and sense of purpose. Life has been so much better since I left them. If you are young and still have to live with your father I think it is imperative that you establish your independence. Can you find a part-time job or casual work? Is there anything you can do for extra money? (I'm in similar situation and have a few things I need to work on).

If you don't live with the father, don't be around him too much. It will affect your energy. Maybe you have to put your effort into finding a job and hopefully if he sees you are trying maybe he will leave you alone. (try and look busy, doing whatever needs to be done). Also I hope you are getting enough exercise to keep fit as it is good for your well-being.

posted August 14, 2017 06:49 PM            

Writting - I'm a terrible writter, for real.

Writting on a journal - it helps me when I feel overwhelmed.Especially because I'm super secretive and I don't talk anyone about my feelings...only here and maybe is because is online? Due to this issue I feel completely alone at times,even having an amazing family and good friends.I feel like they don't understand bht It's my problem(I know).Maybe just how I feel.

Numerology - I tried that too.
I found some things that helped me to discover more about ME.Things that I didn't pay attention to until now and was good to me at some extent but I don't use it anymore.It brings more havoc than hapiness.My LP number have too many "set on stone"assumptions.They pretty much say that you gonna feel miserable almost your entire life.I'm sick of it,I mean I'm sad already I don't need more of their "help".

Dreams - Yes I love to do it but is hard to find the meaning.Especially because dreams has too many elements.There's an amazing sector here in LL about dreams and they help me but I can't bother those people with my stuff everyday lol most of my dreams I simply discard.

Meditation- It's much easier that I thought it would be.I like one type of meditation that I imagine a light running through my body.So tried to feel the hapinness on my body and actually works pretty well.Amazing tecnique.However lately I'm so sad that I can't concentrate on that light or the happiness.I'm crying everyday, I'm looking like a fish for real lol

Yoga- I'm in love with it,like very in love with it but I was doing at home (due to the lack of money) and I hurt my back and now I'm little scared.I think I will give a chance when I get some money though.

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I really like these. Actually I should do these some more also lol.

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lol

Yes somebody checked my chart once.She said nurse/life coach/secretary.I don't like those things though.

Another help I got:
Leeloo pulled tarot cards for me.She saw tower and the fool as my talent.She said something like being a public speaker,someone who talks about self-development.It makes sense since I have an air trine but I'm shy lol A super shy person doesn't do that.

She said I should explore my talents through standard courses (empress) just like your said to me I think I really will do it.

Yeah that's so true ,too much control slay our identity.I glad you things worked out for you

I have two "bad" things on my chart.My sun (identity) is blurred by neptune and its placed in 7th house.Sun house sun is prone to lose its power to others.I'm fighting hard to find mine!My sun/uranus wants to break free!
My chart is so crazy is like a battle between being independent/ co-dependent.

Sun and NN in 7th house
Moon and SN in 1st house

Did you ever heard about a T-square?My realease point is in aries.I've been studying and they say the cure for our issue is emboding the traits,qualities of that sign.When I think about the traits from aries it seems to be exactly what I need to progress.Be more assertive/have more power,be more independent.However it's easier said than done right? but I will try hehe

Magikaal thank you so much for helping me.Our conversation made me feel much better.I guess sometimes is hard to see a way alone.

Thank you