posted November 12, 2017 04:11 PM            

So I can see how each planet co operates with each other.. Pluto in 5th H and aspecting almost all of my personal planets is supporting Saturn in 8th H.
If it wasn't for Pluto I would have no interest in passionate-deep "relationships".. I wouldn't also be interested in flirting at all. I am also able to see how Neptune and Uranus in 7th with South Node with Mercury in 1st work all together with Saturn in 8th.. I get the whole picture..
The only part I am missing from it is the North Node in 7th H..
North Node in 7th H interpretations are like "you have to give with your whole heart (in a practical way) and wait nothing in return.."
Which sounds exactly like "be a victim by choice and be thankful that you can even be taken advantage by your partner"..
North Node in 7th H is also interpreted as good luck in marriage.. Since when is that considered good luck?
Someone once told me that no matter how much I do not want to marry I won't be able to avoid it because of the North Node in 7th H..
I freaked out and I searched online for it and it turns out that most people with North Node in 1st, 4th, 10th and especially 7th H do not get married in their life.. I've read quite many comments of people over 40s that have never been married..
So in my opinion we never fulfil our natal North Nodes unless we have personal planets in conjunction or maybe in trine with it..
I am also wondering how something that feels like one of the worst things that could happen to you would make you happy. It doesn't just feel difficult it feels depressingly sad.
So I would like to get your opinions or experiences if you have this position yourself and how you see it in my natal chart which will be in the comment below

posted November 13, 2017 05:30 PM            

first off 90% of what is published about the node is astrology BS. the true nature of the node is censored and astrological publishers only published regurgitated pabulum. the node is at the center of all magic black and white. just as the black magicians who rule our culture hide behind the standard model of science, so to do they censor the node so that no one can see through their magically manipulation and control of civilization .
you might check out this thread that begins to dispel the BS around the node.
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=63539

I will comment on your node placement but I won't comment on all your questions because some of what you ask is simply wrong because you and everyone else had read this same old node astro/babble.

you comment that the node has to be conjunct a planet is ridiculous. again I am not calling you ridiculous, I am saying wherever you read that made you write this is ridiculous. i can see that you intelligent and well versed in astrology which is one reason I am taking time to try to explain the node to you

the node is the underlying energy that gives the astrological symbols their power. the node gives the timing of the planets and the node is the path to the astral planes.so the planets don't "turn on " the node.it is the opposite. for instance if one has a venus/mars square, then check when the node transited this square and you will find you life involved with a emotional relationship. and you can judge the mars/venus square directly with your experiences during the transit.

I added a few other symbols to your composite with interesting results.
one is that Sappho is conjunct the node along with psyche and mercury.in relation to your discussion about never wanting to be married, saphho very often shows a woman into same sex relationships . so you have a emotional prejudices toward women in the first place. mercury is opposed to juno which in a woman's chart often show a active interest in formal relationships or marriage. but in your chart the presence of Sappho and psyche give you greater emotional pleasure with women. of course this could show interest in a committed relationship to a woman rather than a man.
but you do have a very aggressive "male" energy in your aspect which is the Venus/mars conjunction square to ixion and pluto.this gives you an aggressive edge.whereas in most cultures woman are intrinsically receptive, you by nature are projective and aggressive , stereotypes place more often on male that females.

you have a stellium of Lilith/node/descendant/ Neptune/Uranus. when the nodal axis is on the ascendant/descendant axis one has psychihc abilities. but as the south node is on the ascendant, these psychic abilities may not be acknowledged because you think that your intuitions are just because of your intelligence. the nodal axis on the ascendant axis does give intelligence besides the psychic abilities.
you chart is a bit more complex because you also have chiron conjunct mercury. this asp3ct by itself is also indicative of heightened intelligence but this aspect gives a more critical and analytical perspective. these abilities are obvious in your post. you have made valid analyses and criticism of astrology and other approaches.

specifically the node wit Uranus and Neptune gives psychic/astral abilities. Uranus shows that you have access to the astral plane through your vivid and sometimes prophetic dreams . Neptune conjunct the node gives similar abilities but usually the knowledge cones through vision.
these visions can begin in dream states but can continue on into your waking state or sometimes you can have visions while awake.
with the Lilith axis square the nodal axis, your intuitions are usually correct. even though you are extremely deductive and intelligent, you intuitions seem to just can rise from your deepest subconscious feelings and are usually right.
I am not sure I have answered you question but I felt you needed to broaden your mind to the node first.
todd

posted November 14, 2017 07:33 PM            

Unfortunately my only astrological source is internet. I can not find much about the Nodes online and most of what I've found says the same things (I initially said) with different words.

So I made this post because I didn't feel satisfied, I felt that there was a deeper meaning to the Nodes. (I am sure T. Pluto has to do with it) According to your reply I wasn't wrong. Almost everthing you've said rings true.

I checked the link and I just read the initial post (I will eventually read to all the comments) So it seems like the Nodes are the energy behing the other planets and Node transits show important events in one's life.
This is something new to me as I've never seen T. Node being used in astrologic predictions before. I can not quite get the part where you say that Node gives the timing of the planet.. Till now accurate predictions have been made for me many times by some generous people who didn't even used the T. Node. This makes it seem like the Nodes are not that important especially compared to the other planets, otherwise the predictions wouldn't be so accurate right? (I am not trying to say that you are wrong or that I know better by any means. In fact I can not even accept the huge compliment of yours about me being well versed in astrology, it sounded too nice but I don't actually deserve it.)

I do not have an opinion about the asteroid Sappho that you mentioned, but about me being agressive.. Well I speak the truth without trying to make it sound better or worse than it is.. Majority of people nowadays is very easily offended and believe that they are kind and deserve kindness by pretending to be kind, once you tell them something that they don't like without asctually offending them they show their true face which is far away from the kind one they had before.. There is too much hypocrisy nowadays. If we all were sincere relationships (I mean any kind of relationship) would be easier, more stable and wouldn't luck substance.

But I am not offensive when it comes to the words I am using nor I express myself angrily. It's the opposite I am very calm (although I have intense/expressive eyes but I can not control that).

I commented that it is hard for me to find what I am looking for nowadays although it is not unrealistic. I actually need another me in a male version.

Now as for me liking girls, I wouldn't really have a problem if that was true but I've never felt attracted sexually or emotionally to any female. To be honest I always prefered to be around men, I trust men much more than women and they are far more interesting and appealing to me, if only they weren't sexmaniacs. What makes me not trust men is that they would do/say anything just to have sex.

Now to the very interesting psychic part.. I've heard so many times that I have psychic abilities but I never seriously thought of it untill now that you emphasised it.
It is true that most of the times I thought that what I sensed most of the times could be explained logically but there were sometimes that no matter how hard I've tried there just wasn't any logical explanation. So I thought that I have just good intuition..
There have been 2 ocassions though that intuition was far less than enough to describe what I experienced.
Both of these were connected to my father (I won't even talk about how much I love my father because it will take days to even give you a small idea)

1.First time it happened like this: I was feeling perfectly fine that day until I suddenly started panicking without apparent reason, I quickly went to my mom and told her to immediately call my father, she saw the clock and then looked at me with a puzzled look telling me that he would be working at such an early hour. As soon as she finished her phrase tears begun running through my cheeks,(I am not a person who cries easily btw) and when she realised it she immediately called my father. That day my dad had finished work earlier (which was rare, like once in several years rare) and had a car accident some moments before my mom called him. It wasn't serious but my dad got scared and he was shocked, he didn't have any serious injuries though. As soon as I heard his voice and comfirmed that he was fine I was calm again, my mother on the other hand was quite shocked and wondering how I knew.

2. Second ocassion was when dad had a serious health problem but he was doing suprising well. It started in the same way.. I was completely fine and enjoying myself and I suddenly started panicking way too much that night without apparent reason again. This time it was too scary, I was feeling my whole body shaking internally, I couldn't understand what was going on but I was sure that it wasn't a health related issue.. The first thing I did was to call my father who was with my mother and I asked him if they were ok. They were fine but that feeling wasn't going away, I couldn't sleep and I thought that I was going to lose my mind. Once again tears were escaping my eyes without me actually crying. I felt like the world was going to fall apart and there wasn't enough time for me to find out how to prevent it from happening. The urgent feeling was too intense. I was at this scary state about 15 hours until my dad died next morning.

There are some other weird things happening like when I see a person and I feel like I've known him from a past life or something, it is very intense but this is not such an unusual experience no matter how intense and confusing it feels. I actually thought that it was because some of their features reminds us other people that we are familiar with.

But I definately found it unusual when it happened through an internet chat. That person sent me just a "hi" like hundreds of other men, he had no profile pic, no age no infos, he could be a perverted old man, but I felt like I recognised him immediately and I kind of felt butterflies in my stomach.. It turned out that I was right.. Because especially when I saw his eyes I got that feeling that I knew him and that we finally found each other again after so long. I think that the most correct way to describe it is that I already have warm overwhelming feelings for that person but there is also some kind of pain, like I know I am going to lose him again.
It gets even more weird when the other person feels the exact same way at least about knowing you like from a previous life or something like that because it sounds like there is some truth to it and I don't just have a mental disorder or something like that.

Still I need solid proof in order to believe in it although I am not really blind to it, I am not denying it, I just can not fully understand it.

Despite my Pisces Moon in 9th H and Sun in 12th H I am not really good with anything abstract. If I indeed have psychic ability I do not know how to understand it or use it in my advantage or even recognise it.

I have too many dreams that feel too real but I do not understand their meaning if they have one. My dreams sometimes feel like they are trying to tell me something but I fail to get it. On the other hand all people dream so it is not special.

I have never had a vision so I do not know what it would be like but it sounds kind of scary.

When I think about this it feels like I am dealing with a chaos in my head, I get lost into so many questions and fantastic theories I get overwhelmed and I am starting to question my sanity.

I am surprised though that the interpretation of the Node in 7th H does not seem like it has anything to do with what 7th H represents unless you were exclusively talking about my Node aspects.

You definately broaden my mind and answered an unrelated to this topic question I always had about me having such a practical, analytical and logical mind when natal Mercury is in Cancer and is not aspected by any of the main planets.

posted November 14, 2017 10:01 PM            

the major social defect of chiron is lack of tact. chiron gives a person the expectation that others are coherent in their words and deeds. chiron speaks the truth about others that not all other people would want to hear. so a strong chiron is associated with losing friends quickly thru lack tact.
chiron itself is extremely self righteous and if a chiron native is offended or ridiculed, the friendship or acquaintance will drop out of your life. with mars ixion you have innate impulse to strike back with force if affronted.
..............................................
What makes me not trust men is that they would do/say anything just to have sex.
..........................................
your venus/mars conjunction is square to pluto , so some men around you are as you say , but then you must admit that you are exceptional drawn to the physical and visual size of sex as men.
but you aspects do show abusive environments.so you feeling about men may be based on a past experience.even though your mind is sharp pluto is square to Jupiter and mars which can indicated mentalor emotional blocks.
.........................................
Still I need solid proof in order to believe in it although I am not really blind to it, I am not denying it, I just can not fully understand it.
............................................

you must do your own research.but the best I can describe to you is the universe is not as the Standard Model of the Universe says it is.that is classical mathematics,does not untie the mystery of the universe,
quantum theory has been proved to be the most exact description of the primal sub aromic realms. the point is that we think along the lines of Aristotle but must now start thinking with the quantum model as our point of reference in reality. o your research.

my last comment is that your sun is square to Nessus. this is one of the strongest single aspect of abuse.. mental, emotional, physical, sexual either one or all are possibilities. There are also s other indicators of abusive aspects in your chart

you do have confusing psychic/mental states but the cause is your blocked childhood experiences. until you start to consider this dynamic, you will likely remained wound up emotionally.one question pleased ,do your have any type of autoimmune disease?

posted November 19, 2017 08:19 AM            

Once someone told me "I'll f*ck all your dead relatives' bones and I wish your living ones die because of cancer otherwise I'll find them and kill them myself" just because he lost a stupid game to me, I felt shocked, hurt and dissapointed by the fact that there are people in this world that wish cancer and death to others.. People should not even be able to think something as bad as that let alone say it out loud. I feel hurt because I am wandering what might someone have gone through in order to have such an anger inside them. At the same time my brain says "well no matter what it is it doesn't justify his unfair immature behaviour and his disgusting disrepect towards my people both dead and alive that he doesn't even know" so I answered to him "since you are so eager to kill someone.. why don't you do this world a favor and start by killing yourself first?" If that is called strike back then yes whenever something is objectively unfair I won't let it pass just like that.

This though was a more extreme case..
I wish lack of brain usage was that rare too though.. I was listening to a conversation that 2 30ish years old women had near me in the bus one was saying "I don't really like kids but it's so in right now I see pics all over insta, I've been trying last month to get pregnant" and the other one answered enthusiastically "I know right? How about we both get pregnant and upload pics together with our babies!" And the first one was delighted by her proposal.. Talking about it like when two friends are happily planinng they're perfect night out.
My brain just can not handle it.
After meeting people like these more often than I would like I became at least a bit self righteous. I don't believe I am intelligent or superior I believe that others lack basic logic they should have.

●●●your venus/mars conjunction is square to pluto , so some men around you are as you say , but then you must admit that you are exceptional drawn to the physical and visual size of sex as men.●●●●

Yes of course. I am even more drawn to money though.. I had very few chances to get money with different "dirty" ways but I couldn't do it. I've never thought of using someone or trick him in order for me to get money..
But guys will do whatever in order to have sex with you.
and I want money more than what a million men united want sex hahah

●●●● but you aspects do show abusive environments.so you feeling about men may be based on a past experience.even though your mind is sharp pluto is square to Jupiter and mars which can indicated mentalor emotional blocks.●●●●

Well in my family there were no violence, no fights, it's generally what you would consider a nice family.
I din't really had any kind of violence coming from males/women.
The only exception is my mom.. she is emotionally and mentally abusive towards the people very close to her (including me). She has too many flaws, she is one of these people that you don't want to live with under the same roof. I am not the only one saying this ( I was wondering if I find her so difficult because her planets square some of mines and she has some of what I consider the worst natal placements especially for a mom, like Aries Moon in conjunction with Mars) but some of her relatives that truly know her have the same opinion, my dad before he dies was really worried about leaving me with my mom, her sister is worried about me too and one ofnthe rrason she left was because she couldn't really stand my mother.
I love her because she is my mom but most of her personality traits are exactly what I am looking for others to not have..
Unfortunately everything went wrong and here I am now not even able to find a job (or not smart enough to think of a way to make money) because of my health problems. But even if I could I wouldn't leave my mom alone after my father's death even if I could afford it.
What are the other abusive aspects you were talking about?

As for the health problems except of a heart anomally which is my worst problem (described perfectly by my 6th H in my opinion) I also have hormonal problems which I do not know if it's considered autoimmune but I left them untreated for many years and symptoms have been too bad.