Posts: 320
From:
Registered: Jul 2015

posted October 18, 2018 10:55 AM            

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i am not too sure where to post this so ill leave it here.

i want to talk about who texts who first. i hear so many different opinions. i have a couple people tell me we, as women, have the power. we have the V so do go ahead and text the guy. whereas other people say, and i agree with this more, let the man initiate or else he will take you for granted. but i am really confused because i feel the two contradict each other. i dont know! tell me what you guys think!

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Posts: 3805
From: NY
Registered: Dec 2014

posted October 18, 2018 12:42 PM            

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I have some rules when it comes to intial dating phase but bottom line is , u should feel free to do whatever u want. If u want to text or call do so. Obv know the difference between normal communication and obsessive. 😂 don’t show any negative emotions in text like neediness and desperation. Obv do it in person if u really need to 😂

Because If something as simple as texting first causes him to lose interest , is he really a guy worth keeping ? I’m sure if someone’s that flaky , he might not be super open minded and it’ll ultimately affect the rest of ur relationsip.

Tbh, anything preventing urself from doing what u want within normal boundraries is essentially playing a game. I personally don’t want to start of a healthy relationship with that. I can’t stay in a relationship or pursue a relationsip where I can’t be myself and I have to worry about little things like texting when really people involved should be focusing on the connection.

Trust me , u can’t do anything wrong in the beginning with a person ur suppose to meet and get involved with. Because even if u suck at the texting and make a wrong move , he will come back around . Universe does funny stuff like that.

Had this convo with a friend last week 😂

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Posts: 320
From:
Registered: Jul 2015

posted October 18, 2018 01:05 PM            

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thank you furrybunny! i have only dated so i really dont know how this thing works!

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Posts: 1281
From:
Registered: Jul 2014

posted October 18, 2018 07:52 PM            

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I'm actually going through this right now. I've been waiting for someone to respond back to me since Monday. Originally I did send another message today, but I unsent it (meaning he won't get that I ever sent anything), but I was questioning myself if I should allow him to reach out to me or not. I felt if I kept trying when he hasn't even responded that maybe I should fall back.

I somewhat regret cancelling what I sent, but I'm disappointed that he has yet to say anything to me.

I say always go with what you feel is right, but I also agree not to seem too needy or desperate. I feel there should be an equal amount of initiating between both parties. It's possible that the other person may have gotten busy, and if you feel you should reach out, do so and maybe the conversation can continue to go from there once the person replies.

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Posts: 320
From:
Registered: Jul 2015

posted October 18, 2018 10:42 PM            

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proxy, i agree. it definitely should be equal. i think once we pull back, they are going to react because they are used to you reaching out all the time. i have an issue always reaching out first and my gut is telling me to stop.

im sorry the person didnt respond to you. i say give it a week and then try to ask them whats going on. well, i dont know your situation so im not sure if you should or shouldnt try again. but if its bothering you a lot, i feel you should say something again

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Posts: 1281
From:
Registered: Jul 2014

posted October 18, 2018 10:52 PM            

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I have an issue with that too and most of the time the ending results aren’t good for me in the long run. You’re righ! Men do tend to come around once they notice the woman isn’t talking as much. Usually when that happens for me, I’m no longer interested lol.

I did reach out to him again and the conversation wasn’t a fun one. I think I’m probably going to give up on this friendship, because he’s applying distance due to something I said last week and it hasn’t been the same since. I feel bad about it, but I’d rather be friends with someone who would push me to the side.

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Posts: 5431
From: saturn
Registered: Sep 2012

posted October 20, 2018 01:46 PM            

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Thread moved to LL 2.0

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