posted November 05, 2018 08:28 PM            

I currently work in the same place with someone I dated years ago and really loved (he broke it off through text and then disappeared). I never really confronted him about what happened. The rare occasions I talked with him at work was brief small talk. But him leaving really did hurt me and affect me.

I never really got over it and sadly the experience has negatively affected my dating life. I have a fear of getting attached to people because I feel like they will leave unexpectedly like he did.

He has moved on and I just found out that he has been in a relationship with one of my coworkers and that stung because it got me thinking why her and not me (I have a great personality and am physically attractive)

Anyways. I never had any closure regarding this situation and being the type of person that he is, I don't think I'll ever get any answers or apologies. I feel like it's taking me forever to move on from this.

I want to know will I ever move on from B?
Will things get better for me (will I heal)? (my initials are EV)

posted November 05, 2018 08:42 PM            

I don't need an exchange, but I did pull some cards for your question and one of them shows you getting past this and understanding what happened. I don't think he was who you thought he was. You will spend some time alone and do some reflecting, which will help.

posted November 05, 2018 08:53 PM            

believe it or not, the pain you are feeling now is not new. that the pain triggered from this relationship, was not a pain you had never felt before.

this s*** relationship came to you to heal the wound of "im not good enough".

this is a powerful wound, that MANY of us have for one reason or another. you will attract situations that force us to examine these negative feelings that we have suppressed so that we can heal. it is all about your healing, and not to punish you.

this guy was never meant to be with you longterm, he was a pawn of the Universe. he is triggering your insecurities, but the truth is you really wouldn't even want to be with him anyways, even if you think you do at times.

my advice is to use this potent time to really address those feelings. explore the first time you felt that you weren't good enough- probably from one of your parents. really explore those feelings through writing, art, meditation. allowing yourself to feel the pain allows the pain to move, and eventually it will move out of you and be healed

posted November 05, 2018 08:59 PM            

This person definitely does trigger my insecurities. In the past, I placed him up on a pedestal and the fact that he rejected me reinforced the old ideas and beliefs I had of not being good enough.

It's crazy how negative false beliefs can affect you so much. I attract guys easily, I get told that I am physically attractive, I get told that I have a great personality, kind heart, etc. but the beliefs I had from childhood of not being good enough have always stuck.

I have worked and am continuing to work on my issues, it's so hard and intense and emotionally draining. Gah I wish I could have a break but anyways. I've been through tough times in the past, felt like death and this currently does feel like death just need a little bit of patience.

posted November 08, 2018 02:28 AM            

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