posted February 11, 2019 03:06 AM            

I am realizing that I have this deep fear that ive had for many years... and I know it sounds stupid but I read a horoscope many years ago that told me "when you fully blossom, then you will die"

then I had this horrible panic attack this summer that basically was me realizing I would never make it to Hawaii. it was all a delusion and it was distracting me from living my life bc I actually will die before I get there and ill never get to experience it.

I just feel like im on the brink of finally being healed of so many things; my health problems and my insecurities and im going to a place that I know I will BLOSSOM

and now these fears are coming up like im really scared im going to die before I get there. I know it sounds stupid, trust me... but I am having to face this horrible fear that I have had brewing for so long. and it feels like I really could die.

posted February 11, 2019 09:34 AM            

If you think of a BLOSSOM, it is not 'the whole plant'. The PLANT is the originator which produces the blossoms.

You're diving way deep into a project or idea (blossom) and perhaps over identifying with it.

Seed time and harvest.
When leaves come off the trees, the tree itself doesn't die.

(music) Today (John Denver, lyrics) [4:50] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBGjZAYcJqc

Another thing?
Your 'going to Hawaii' is a big deal (bfd). That's a HUGE jump and 'change' in your life. Takes enormous amounts of finances to live there. You must be financially being whelmed in your head, and dealing with levels of success(?) and the aftermaths and implications of that kind of responsibility (actually), that you never experienced before?

In case that is true, then,
Psychologically-- Are you READY for it?
You just might be doing some transitioning.
Going from one level, to another.
In a way, that is a death-- of one state of being blossoming into a whole new identity/life for yourself (and your family, and your business)?

Are you nervous of Success??
A whole set of new expectations (work and social).
What can you do to help self psychologically prep?

posted February 11, 2019 09:43 AM            

I've experienced similar fear when I'm playing sports and I'm about to reach my goal, as I'm about to win, I feel as if the ground might collapse and swallow me right before I win, but this too just passes by when its faced.

posted February 14, 2019 05:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Rheanna:
Miss,
I remember you posted before on your fear of death. The fact that you are a mother with a young child (a daughter?)
How do you cope with your fear?
What do you do when the panick attacks happened?
I hope these two books can help you: Leonard Orr on 'Physical Immortality' and Sondra Ray on 'How to be chick, fabulous and live forever'.

Orr believes that we don't have to die. We can live forever. Unfortunately though, I am not the best to explain. I hope Randall and the others would drop by.

---

thank you so much for responding. I am realizing that in this panic attack I was finally seeing the ROOT of this fear... the fears that were coming up in the past of thinking that I might die. I finally saw where this fear started and it just really was scary bc I had to look that fear right in the eye. the reason why is because I am about to move beyond it.

I am moving beyond it bc my fear told me that if I ever fully blossomed that I would die

I read that in a horoscope when I was young...

then I noticed the life line in my palm was short. I also had this random indian guy do a palm reading and say I would die young.

on top of that, my north node is in the 12th house right now.

and on top of that, my son's moon is in the 12th house...

soo all of those things were poking at the fear... so each time it would get "poked" I would get a panic... I realize bc I had this deep subconscious belief

well the thing is, I am finally healing the things that have held me back.

im healing the things that I thought I could never heal. and im really ascending into this higher version of myself

posted February 14, 2019 08:33 PM            

The same thing is happening to me. I finally found happiness and love in myself and someone is trying to kill me and wont leave until they do it. Its sad because they are evil and when i try to call the police they make the police think im crazy because i cant prove what he is doing.

posted February 15, 2019 11:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Caprika:
Talk to a therapist! When you get to the root of your fear, you will get over it.
It looks to me you have this innate feeling in your mind that you are not allowed to be happy and fulfilled and it will be taken away from you before you have it. There could be a guilt there for the feeling of having it all ?
A therapist will help you understand your mind better, because this is where it started (your brain). It's all there. You can tell yourself how to feel and it all depends on your choice. This is why different people react differently to a common problem. It's all in the brains and the condition we place upon ourselves.

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posted February 15, 2019 11:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
Agreeing with what the others have said.

If you think of a BLOSSOM, it is not 'the whole plant'. The PLANT is the originator which produces the blossoms.

You're diving way deep into a project or idea (blossom) and perhaps over identifying with it.

Seed time and harvest.
When leaves come off the trees, the tree itself doesn't die.

(music) Today (John Denver, lyrics) [4:50] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBGjZAYcJqc

Another thing?
Your 'going to Hawaii' is a big deal (bfd). That's a HUGE jump and 'change' in your life. Takes enormous amounts of finances to live there. You must be financially being whelmed in your head, and dealing with levels of success(?) and the aftermaths and implications of that kind of responsibility (actually), that you never experienced before?

In case that is true, then,
Psychologically-- Are you READY for it?
You just might be doing some transitioning.
Going from one level, to another.
In a way, that is a death-- of one state of being blossoming into a whole new identity/life for yourself (and your family, and your business)?

Are you nervous of Success??
A whole set of new expectations (work and social).
What can you do to help self psychologically prep?

Good Luck, Missblyss.
And congratulations.

---

posted February 15, 2019 11:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LunaIscariot:
Try grounding exercises. Go outside and go for a walk, get fresh air or just lay in the grass or get into nature somehow. It will get you back into reality, the present moment and your body and calm those anxious, irrational thoughts. If you get really overwhemed though. get ice cubes and put them in the palms of your heads. It helps. Make sure you’re sleeping good too, I noticed my hypochondria and anxiousness acts up when I’m lacking a good routine or sleep schedule. I know you’re a Virgo moon like me so I can relate to the strug regarding health stuff.

I hope you feel better soon missy. Sending you positive & healing vibes 🥰🙏😇

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this is one of the reasons why I feel that I'm going to be so much healthier in hawaii.

I live in Colorado now and its sooo dry and all the people are so uptight and in their heads. all the nature is DEAD and we just sit inside all day so it's really hard not to be out, walking, doing stuff, connecting with people, and enjoying life! I NEED to be doing stuff so I feel alive. I'm always alone and in my head!

I really don't have "anxiety" as a regular thing. I've just been dealing with this same fear repeatedly this past 2 years and I feel like it's finally all coming to a head- where I am truly seeing the root of this fear!

in the moment, when it all seemed so real, I felt total panic. but I am seeing that not everything I "see" is real.. Just because I "see" myself dying, that can be 100% projected out of a FEAR, and in this case that is exactly what it is. It's honestly a great lesson for me, to see how tricky and elusive fear can be. I know I am going to overcome this!

posted February 16, 2019 12:56 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by athenegoddess:
Do you have any planets aspecting transit Uranus?

The same thing is happening to me. I finally found happiness and love in myself and someone is trying to kill me and wont leave until they do it. Its sad because they are evil and when i try to call the police they make the police think im crazy because i cant prove what he is doing.

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posted February 16, 2019 02:01 PM            

Do pay attention to your physical well-being too, as you get used to some house shifts-- (oh my, I guess home relocation too!)
You might check your locational Pluto-line right now?
Just a guess--
A number of people have their Pluto-lines running down the mid-USA.
Vibrationally, with your chart, it might be accented??
Maybe someone can check that for you.

Good Luck with your move.