posted August 02, 2022 01:11 PM            

I've tried and tried and tried. I've never been married. I don't think that I'm meant to be in a relationship. They just have never worked out for me, and I've always had a hard time finding someone to date for the long term. As I've gotten older, it's only gotten worse.

I know that I'm supposed to work towards that in my lifetime, and I would've liked to have met someone who's right for me, but it's been awful.

Does my chart indicate that I'd be better off, like I am now, just lounging with my South Node? Doing things I love, like taking classes, traveling, exploring, coming up with new ideas for everything (my Moon in the 9th trine Mars in the 5th is something I feel strongly). I've only ever done the things I love by myself (traveled, explored, created), even when I'm in a relationship.

Should I just give up on relationships entirely? It's been such an unrewarding struggle (my NN is conjunct Saturn, I know) and it's only brought sadness and dissatisfaction into my life. Relationships, even including friendships(!), have been the worst part of my life.

posted August 05, 2022 02:24 PM            

It's almost like I'm seeking reassurance, but I'm not sure which way I'd like to be reassured. Meaning, do I want to hear "Oh no! You'll definitely meet someone!" or "Your life will be full of adventure and learning, but it will be a solo experience..."?

posted August 05, 2022 10:19 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by outofideas:
I'd hazard a guess that Pluto transiting your 12th hasn't been treating you nice. So this might have contributed to some crappy relationships but I'd like to hear what your experience has been with that.

---

That could actually be the root of the problem. I have had four long(-ish) term relationships in my life, all men with Cancer ASC - one with Scorpio Sun, one with Scorpio Moon, one Pisces Sun and one with a Taurus Moon. All four have had issues in the past with drinking, two out of the four have/had issues with drugs, three out of the four were recently divorced. All have been diagnosed with depression.

They were my opposites. I don't suffer from depression, and I am an overall happy person. I've never used a drug of any kind and I have a drink maybe 2-3 times a year.

They all seemed like men with "depth" and intelligence - which is something that is important to me. Unfortunately, these relationships all ended badly.

Typing that out makes it seem obvious why these relationships didn't work out. However, it wasn't that black and white - where they were just all bad and I was all good. All but one DID ended up being bad guys. My biggest issue - not ending things sooner than I did. I had a feeling that something wasn't right, but I felt alone so I hung in there until the bitter end (one guy cheating, one guy didn't get intimate with me for a solid year, one guy dumped me pretty hard out of nowhere, and the other guy ghosted me after texting me "You could've saved me..." while he was going through a bout of depression. He is okay, he just didn't want to continue communicating with me).

All very Plutonian, now that I get it all out.

posted August 09, 2022 07:48 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by outofideas:
Oh I get your pain. Attracting people with addictions and health issues. You can give that to Neptune transiting your 1st for a long while. Boundaries dissolving. They see you as their sanctuary and think you can help them or save them. No wonder you got that text. The audacity. It's very manipulative and co-dependent.
Pluto going through the 12th mostly gives isolation, chronic health issues, toxic/abusive/aggressive people, backstabbers/users. It can get lonely, it doesn't really bring many relationships usually. Perhaps half of these relationships played out before Pluto entering the 12th.

---

Thank you for understanding, Outofideas!

Only one of the relationships happened prior to tPluto in my 12th. That one also occurred during my Saturn Return. So, I knew I was in for something!

But, yes, thank you for pointing out the transits because the guys were definitely Neptunian. In fact - one guy had a Pisces Venus (the "...saved me" guy), one had Sun in Pisces and one had Moon in Pisces. The addiction, plus savior-savee thing - it's crazy how that happens.

So, for now, I'm just going to try to focus on what's good in my life. There isn't much at the moment, but I have hope for the things I can control (higher/continuing education, exploration). I can't control whether or not someone gets into a relationship with me, so I'm letting go of hoping and wishing for that.

posted October 07, 2022 11:23 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MinaReads:
Maybe you should date someone older than you, he may children is a father and may be divorced. You should date someone older I don’t see breakups he may love traveling or travels from time to time. Short term. I don’t think that you need to surrender to your south node the south node is comfort it’s what we know. It’s home. It’s what you’ve mastered in the previous life. The north node is what needs to be mastered in this life.

---