posted May 03, 2005 11:57 PM              

May. 4, 2005 12:00 AM

Maybe real life is the best reality show of all. Or the worst. Depends upon what side of the camera you're standing on.

If you were worried about which story would capture the media's fancy, which story the media would grasp by the throat, flogging the public with more coverage and angles than it could possibly deserve, look no further: Jennifer Wilbanks has provided the answer.

Maybe you don't know her by that name. Maybe she's already doomed to be forever known only as the Runaway Bride. Ah. Now the bells go off. Yes, she's the one who skipped out on her wedding in Georgia, planned for Saturday, cut her hair and hopped on a bus for Las Vegas. Somehow she ended up in New Mexico, claiming that she had been kidnapped and then saying it was simply a matter of cold feet, before being forever captured in the public's imagination as that chick from the wedding walking through the police station with a blanket over her head.

Sweaty palms. Maybe. Nervous twitch? Sure. But running away from your extravagant wedding, chopping off your locks, hopping a Greyhound and dreaming up a fake crime? "Cold feet" doesn't quite do all that justice.

It also doesn't make it a story that justifies the amount of coverage Wilbanks' escapades have gotten.

Whatever. All that matters, at least in the eyes of the media, was that they had latched on to a story that might have "legs." The possibility of a kidnapped bride-to-be was enticing enough; lack of evidence be damned, it even carried with it the hint that the would-be groom was maybe somehow responsible. That, my friend, is cable-news nirvana.

But to find out that the whole thing was staged? By the woman? Oh man. Almost too good to be true. There was the promise of live press conferences with cops and attorneys, interviews with the jilted groom (who still wants to marry her, he says), the parade of wedding and behavioral experts to line up, the endless descriptions of the lavish wedding plans.

There was even - best of all! - An Issue to drive the momentum, to dress things up in the costume of legitimacy: Will she be prosecuted for filing a false police report and be made liable for the hours of overtime and other expenses incurred in searching for her while she was on the lam?

Stay tuned.

But why Wilbanks? Aren't plenty of prospective grooms - and brides - left at the altar all over the country?

Sure. Otherwise they wouldn't write so many country songs about it. More importantly, plenty of people go missing for far more nefarious reasons and don't get this kind of blanket coverage, which in those cases might actually be helpful. But when it comes to extraordinary media coverage, you can't beat the combination of rich, White and possibly crazy.

Much has been made of the 600 guests, the 14 bridesmaids and 14 groomsmen, the mountain of presents presumably stacked up somewhere, awaiting a final destination. Nothing like the idle rich when it comes to targets of ridicule. And from the wide-eyed pre-scandal photos that make her look a touch unhinged to the photos of her with the multicolored blanket covering her head that seem to confirm that judgment, Wilbanks fits the bill of overdone story subject to a T.

We'll doubtless learn much more about Wilbanks' motives before this ends; with the amount of non-stop coverage it's getting, even showing up on sports talk shows, how could we not?

Then, like so many others, Wilbanks will fade into the margins of media history, with or without a husband. We have a tendency to let these things slip away, replaced by other stories, other news, until they're whittled down to the curiosities they really are. If the saga plays out long enough, the couple will merit footnote coverage at best. Which is probably fine with Wilbanks. It's certainly fine with me.

But if Wilbanks gives marriage another go? Can it possibly be such an elaborate affair? Will there be as large a group of guests? Will the wedding party be as big? Surely the church in which the original nuptials were planned wouldn't want a repeat performance; where would you hold such a thing?

If it happens soon enough, before Wilbanks is relegated to trivia-answer status, the answer's easy:

posted May 04, 2005 11:22 PM            

We, and I include myself, give women the prerogative to change their mind...provided we can too.

Women, if you changed your mind, it might be helpful if you told someone, your fiancee would be my choice...rather than call your fiancee to say you were kidnapped.

posted May 05, 2005 01:30 AM              

yea by the eveningtime, rush limbaughs newsmax stories have driveled down to foxnews and i get to watch mort kondrcke and charles krauthammer put the apology to the bush administration!!! you should watch it its hilarious!!

then its bill oreilly who seems to be getting worse everyday
then hannity and colmes...(i got to see ann coulter again tonight stammering out her half dozen 1liners before repeating them again&again...she basically does a routine straight from one of her recent articles everytime she comes on the show ill bet youll soon be reading about the "liberal" who asked her some lewd question)

posted May 05, 2005 10:49 PM            

Poor Greta Van Sustern must be really busy But why are you watching "fair and balanced" Fox News?

Of course, the incomparable Ann Coulter infuriates far left radicals. Unable to refute her positions or measure up to her wit, they are reduced to throwing pies, yelling, screaming and making obscene gestures. Just what one would expect from far left radical brain dead morons.