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Author Topic:   An Arizona Funny - if you're thinking about moving to the Hot State....
pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 23, 2006 01:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm sure people have seen the one about the Westerner that moves to the Northeast and pretty much freezes to death LOL.. Here's Arizona's version:


Just moved to Arizona!

Now this is a state that knows how to live!!

Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.

What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:

Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:


Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me.

Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:

The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:

Fell asleep by the community pool.(Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.

I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:

I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and sh1ts.

I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th:

The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:

Been sleeping outside on the patio for three nights now,$225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here!

Aug. 4th:

It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th:

If another wise as$ cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?'
I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat! By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:

Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost two layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass .

Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried asS, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:

The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny.

It's been too hot to do crap for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert?
Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over.

Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th:

Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"

Aug. 15th:

My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail.

Freaking Arizona.

What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.


________________________________________


I thought that would bring a bit of humor to the boards... Yes, it's hot here (not as much where I live - elevation over 5500 feet) but it still gets hot, hot, hot!!!! Oh yeah.. but it's a dry heat

IP: Logged

proxieme
unregistered
posted May 23, 2006 08:40 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That's great, pid

Here's one that's been making the rounds re: Alabama:

1. You can properly pronounce Arab, Opelika, Oneonta, and Eufaula.
(I've got to add Sylacauga to this list too! lol)
2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are
sissies.
3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and
look for a funnel.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by
the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don't have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and
buggies.
6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.
7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
8. You measure distance in minutes.
9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
11. You know cow pies are not made of beef.
12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding
date.
13. You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, beer, and
bait all in the same store.
15. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Ford F350 with an extended
bed crew cab is.
16. You know everything goes better with ranch.
17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
18. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin" to send them to your
friends.
19. You are 100% Alabamian if you have ever had this conversation:
"You Wanna coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Pepsi."

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pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 67
From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 24, 2006 01:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hee hee... the last question point is also so true of California. We would always say "do you want a coke? yes. What kind? Sprite" LOL

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