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Author Topic:   Questions for Muslims
Sweet Stars
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posted December 20, 2006 12:55 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My best friend is Afghani and her boyfriend Pakistani but her parents don't want him with her because he's Pakistani.


Are your parents strict like this also?


When her and her boyfriend get in fights she calls him a fake Muslim. it can get pretty nasty.


I don't feel there's anything her parents can do because she ran away from home.

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BornUnderDioscuri
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posted December 20, 2006 01:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BornUnderDioscuri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well I dont know about others but the parents of most of my close friends (bengali) are very strict. I think its more a cultural thing than a religious thing because I have friends from Palestine and Egypt and their parents let them do a lot more than the ones from the Subcontinent which is odd...my close Bengali friends all have a strict curfew and their parents dont like them hanging out much. Many arent allowed to talk to the opposite sex on the phone because that would be suspicious. Not in any crazy way but say a girl is talking to a guy she will be asked right away if hes her bf. Dating is strictly prohibited. But usually the strictness depends on the parents. I have one friend whose mom cried in "shame" when she found that her bf wrote her a love letter, others would just tell them to stop it and focus on their school work, very few wont care. I dunno if this helps at all but hope so...

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BornUnderDioscuri
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posted December 20, 2006 01:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BornUnderDioscuri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As for differnet nationalities again people from the subcontinent tend to look down on each other rather often in my experience. Bengalis hate Pakistanis and Pakistanis hate Indians and so on. The kids may be the best of friends but the parents will be like "ehhhh" thats not good...

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SecretGardenAgain
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posted December 20, 2006 03:02 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think it is more of a SE asian thing. My mom is Kashmiri and she is very bent on getting us married to either Kashmiris or Punjabis (who some Kashmiris consider close to themselves in habit and culture)--altho to her Irani men are also swoon-worthy (most Kashmiris see themselves as descendents of Iranis , my moms family in particular for instance traces their roots to the city of Shiraz within Iran).

But all the SE people I know are like that irrespective of their religion (muslim, hindu) they are easing up a bit now, and also based on regionality, but some of them are still pretty strict. Pakistani Muslims for instance still ask about 'zaat' or caste, which is really an indian concept but they still carry it with them, even tho its totally anti Islamic (no castes whatsoever in Islam). Thats why when Islam did come to the subcontinent most of the ppl who converted were the untouchables and some people of higher classes (eventually the kings of moghuls), but no surprise,Islam has always spread amongst the poor first and quickest because it gives them at least a theoretical equality.

And as for muslims calling each other fake...lol sadly its something I hear a lot. Even tho Mohammad (peace be upon him) said, if someone calls themselves a muslim, dont call them anything else. That means not a fake muslim, not a bad muslim nothing! Just accept that they are muslim and move on. Allah is the judge only--not humans.

Paks and Afghans are a little complicated anyway coz a lot of Afghans resent Pakis, they say Pak govt screwed their govt over, but then again Afghanis say that about Iran Russia China and India and US too LOL they just hate everyone sorry to say. I dont find their case particularly moving. And Pakis sadly look down on Afghanis as uncultured and violent because ever since the war against Russia there has been a lot of gun culture ( most klashnikovs in northern pak were brought over by the mass afghani immigration) PLUS the fact that afghanistan is like the colombia of Asia in terms of drug smuggling and production doesnt help.

So there is underlying nationalistic resentment there.

With Arabs its less so--the person just has to be Muslim. They are not so picky if you marry a non Muslim as long as its ahl al Kitab (Jewish or Christian) but if they are clear violation of Islam (drink or eat pork for instance) than people can get uppety about it. But within arabs for instance Palestinian Syrian and Lebanese women are considered the best looking (stereotypically at least) and so all the arab men are usually competing for them LOL. Egyptian women are the funnest to be around and the smartest but ugly as anything (I can say that coz im half egyptian lol) . but sadly that is the stereotype. Syrian women are supposed to be dumb as doorknobs. Arabs will be super happy if you marry any Arab, happy if you marry any muslim, and content if you marry anyone who is allowed to be married.

Love
SG

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BornUnderDioscuri
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posted December 20, 2006 07:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BornUnderDioscuri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
altho to her Irani men are also swoon-worthy
That they are that they are...

That they are that they are...

quote:
With Arabs its less so--the person just has to be Muslim. They are not so picky if you marry a non Muslim as long as its ahl al Kitab (Jewish or Christian) but if they are clear violation of Islam (drink or eat pork for instance) than people can get uppety about it

Yup yup so true from my experience. Though Ill be honest way way way way more Arab Muslims that i know drink over S.E. Muslims.
Dunno why though.

quote:
Egyptian women are the funnest to be around and the smartest but ugly as anything (I can say that coz im half egyptian lol)

So true (not the ugly part). My best friend is Egyptian and shes like a sister to me.

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eatbooks
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posted December 20, 2006 07:07 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yeah rumor is Iraqi women are nuts. Lebanese look like barbies. Palis are all doctors. Saudis and Yemen are the hicks of the middle east.

Secret- if youre half egyptian, whats your other half?

------------------
your pain is my pain, is that love?

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BornUnderDioscuri
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posted December 20, 2006 07:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BornUnderDioscuri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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DayDreamer
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posted December 20, 2006 07:27 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sweet Stars - it depends on the family and where they come from.

Ive noticed Afghanis are more traditional as well...the ones I know only marry within their community/circle.

My parents arent strict...man I wish they were...I would have been a rebellious punk.

I dont think I could marry an Arab guy because of the cultural differences (no offense...just my experience). And most of the Afghanis I know arent as religious as I am. And Pakistani men around here are a dime a dozen here. Indian guys seem to have a problem with Pakistanis. Bangledeshi guys seem less chauvinistic than Pakistanis and Arabs...problem is most of them are shorter than me.

eatbooks - SGA's other half is Kashmiri, like moi.

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BornUnderDioscuri
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posted December 20, 2006 07:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BornUnderDioscuri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Bangledeshi guys seem less chauvinistic than Pakistanis and Arabs..

Ill second that...BUT they are chauvinistic enough...

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DayDreamer
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posted December 20, 2006 07:37 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Guess they're good enough...two of my cousins are married to Bangledeshi guys. One of them happens to be a Gemini. He's definitely alot more helpful around the house and with their daughter than most Pakistani guys I know. Actually I think he takes on more of the responsibility because of the nature of my cousins job. Hes a very sweet guy.

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BornUnderDioscuri
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posted December 20, 2006 08:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BornUnderDioscuri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hehe that i can relate to. I think the Gems r good with house work.

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Sweet Stars
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posted December 20, 2006 08:57 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well the gems I know aren't LOL. They are lazy and don't like to cook.


My mom hasn't cooked since I was 9.


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BornUnderDioscuri
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posted December 20, 2006 09:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BornUnderDioscuri     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Haha id say thats the girls. Im a Gem girl and u couldnt get me near housework. But Gem guys i know are awesome cooks

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Sweet Stars
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posted December 21, 2006 12:25 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm a Gem and I cook. Thanks to all my other influences.

------------------
*----------*

Gemini/Cancer cusp
Cancer Ascendant
Mercury Gemini
Taurus Moon *29
Venus Taurus
Mars Libra

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SecretGardenAgain
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posted December 21, 2006 02:54 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hey eatbooks DD is right i am half egyptian and half kashmiri. I get the feeling you have some arab blood in you, fess up

The way you said that was funny -- 'what is your other half' I was tempted to say alien or 'cellulite'. lol

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