posted July 12, 2003 12:09 AM           

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Hey there folks. I belong to a creative writing community called blather. A fellow there named paste! makes some of the strangest commentary (it's actually poignant on occasion) and makes up some of the strangest phrases that you've ever heard. He created a game called "toast licker" or "non-sequitor sherbet". To some of you the game will seem like a waste of time. Some of you will understand wherein it's value lies, especially the writers out there. The object of the game is simply to write as if you were replying to what was said previously, but without making any sense and in as creative and appealing a manner possible. (Whether appealing is funny, nice sounding, etc is up to you.) I'll try to start the game out with a few examples. You folks can go ahead and pick it up if and when you feel comfortable. Here goes.

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posted July 12, 2003 12:14 AM           

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Here's a paste! entry to start things out. A tribute to the originator.

"The comet is confused by all of this, takes a nap, nectarines fall from the sky, you forget your name and that's the best."

- paste!

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posted July 12, 2003 12:14 AM           

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Indeed as the meatballs bounce from drum to drum they do seem to ring with the screeching of a quagga in heat as if the sun had dipped his velvety green glove into the pool of life, contemplated leaving it in too long...but the zebrahide seatcovers found him a job and they all lived bumpy ever after.

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posted July 12, 2003 12:15 AM           

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"it's easy to recover from any sort of uncoerced parching. have an Ingrid Bergman Otter soak the wind in a sugar tamberine. breathe in wind. presto! okay to direct all forms of traffic now."

- paste!

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posted July 12, 2003 12:16 AM           

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You can try to impress the maestro with your pickle tricks my son, but don't think that mayonnaise is going to win any sardines over. Where did that taxi get off to? (Taps foot impatiently) After spasms of insight filled his bowler and bowled him over to the tune of Sniffled Pipplet's Oompa Band, the tortoise rubbed his belly and smiled, having downed an entire tankard of peas in one snorting. Why did we stucco that place? Perhaps we'll never know, perhaps it is only for us to know that marshmallow whipped topping makes lousy siding and content ourselves with the blues. Tallyho Benny, pull the cards out and show me that trick again where you decapitate me with the Ace of Spades, I've earned it and besides, you owe me an oyster cracker in the passing, like the tripsy shot off a bakery window.

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posted July 12, 2003 10:11 PM           

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No takers?!

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Posts: 530
From:
Registered: Aug 2002

posted July 13, 2003 08:35 AM         

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er, um, uhrm...uhhh..argghhh! knotstiedintongue.

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posted July 13, 2003 12:15 PM           

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.doublepost.

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posted July 13, 2003 12:16 PM           

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But what hops and hips in the curves of gobstoppered, shampooed windows? I know, you know, he knows that the powder and form of carpets sits upon me, wraps upon me, raps to rats and masses, and then befuddles bewooded mice and mensturation. The tortoise sits on the hare and goes down with it, but no one will say or breathe or bounce clocks upon locks upon fiddledeegree, or spin to the beat of a fire.

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Posts: 611
From: Anywhere, nowhere ...
Registered: Dec 2002

posted July 13, 2003 12:54 PM         

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Spinning and sliding they fall amongst the slippery moss covered walls while pale moon beams shine over head lighting the path for the the sugar coated butterflies and satin cloaked sparrows. Twisting and turning into the dark velvet depths of night time's cool and moist rhythm ... heavier, colder until a wave of emptiness covered them and soon they began to gasp for air, as the darkness surrounded them and began to creep into their lungs like hot, scalding tar to stifle screams of anguish mixed with tears and twisted laughter ...

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posted July 13, 2003 06:10 PM           

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Laughter's just the thing to clip the wings
Of all that melancholy, chum.
Just the thing to greet the sun sometime
Before the morning comes
You think I'm kidding Friar Barnaby?
You think you'd like a piece of me?
I'll take you if I have to
Though I'm more inclined
To lift a pint in your good name and bless your daughters
Grew in where they oughta
No disrespecting tuna could taste the mayonnaise
Of your good grace
Of your chrysaliptic mystifying commonplace
Band saw sharpening contraption
Strapped upon her face
The twisted thistle braids of hair
That caused my eyes to "right oblique"
Somewhat unique, but all so commonplace.

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Posts: 25393
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted July 14, 2003 01:48 PM         

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------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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posted July 15, 2003 01:57 AM           

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To that, tothat, tothatIsay
(with the silent, burdened dawn of day,
and the ever coming, ever creeping night) -
Cellar doors (and stolen dreams) slam open and shut
with no hidden recourse but
the wind;
For new we go flying
(with no use in dying)
up chiminies and down again stairs.
Fryers dance while cats nap
(nonsense causing a flap)
and then shimmy on up through the drain.
Find solace in this, dear thief,
at least:
_______the last shall fear no fate but his own,
____________________________________and the first shall always have plenty.

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posted July 15, 2003 11:21 AM           

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"Plenty is it?" scolded Nana, "And just what do you call THIS?!" She held up the tiller and gunned the throttle. Fluffernutter spattered about the room in a trebulously sprayed display of bland arcs.

"We don't DO that anymore!" sleered the twins in a coordinated way. Their bottom fender pant cuffs brushed the crumbs from granny's plate and left kitty with a firmly dazed impression.

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posted July 15, 2003 11:53 AM           

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Kitty, sensing lopsided mischief, sprang to death. Death, knowing mischief, gave Granny a firmly smacked bass-driven remote remote, lolloping grandly about the timescaped flatland. "Do you know this man?" echoed, though no one answered - save, of course, for the crystal chandelier.

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Posts: 1043
From: California
Registered: Feb 2003

posted July 15, 2003 11:55 AM         

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So how do you justify the atrocious beeswax making under which the Treaty of the Brown Kitchen was finally stereotyped? How will the piglets thank you, now that hundreds of very modern anachronisms are crowding into their mall, and how will Nana, aforementioned before as the purveyor of plastic tableware, continue her unemployment as Supreme Monarch of the Green Grass if the basic right of lawn mowing is revoked? What would Rommel say!

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Hello everybody! I used to be QueenofSheeba and then I was Apollo and now I am QueenofSheeba again (and I'm a guy in case you didn't know)!

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Posts: 1043
From: California
Registered: Feb 2003

posted July 15, 2003 12:01 PM         

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Furthermore, it should be noted that the crystal chanderlier mentioned before is in fact a close stranger to the Duchess of Kentville, and that Grandmothers are never allowed the privilege of backing apples in the presence of the ghostly Romeo, who, it should also be mentioned, is an avante- garde undertaker who specializes in repairing the ravages of Life and making the package presentable for remarketing to the webmasters.

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Hello everybody! I used to be QueenofSheeba and then I was Apollo and now I am QueenofSheeba again (and I'm a guy in case you didn't know)!

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posted July 15, 2003 12:05 PM           

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Grandmothers! Bah! Who cares what Rommel thinks?! There's none of that here; there's no helping some people, it seems. Undertakers are ballywacked and bamboozled (given the present state of the televisioned union)...unless...unless...there's hope to be found in Monarchs and butterflies (it makes one wonder. And sneeze). Don't presume to lay judgement on me, flipped turnips.

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posted July 15, 2003 02:58 PM           

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The way they turn and crisp in the sun with that turnippy twinkle in their cheeks makes me jealous. (I failed to see that it was the reality of my own inadequate supply of Raisinettes that tugged on my flibbet so. This is often the case with degenerative conditions like yours truly.) If there is a finger big and bold enough to stop the leaks in time or try, I'll risk three dehydrated snack crackers and a fifth of Yoohoo on the first round of questioning. Any takers? Any shinglers? Any chimney sweep covers?

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Posts: 1043
From: California
Registered: Feb 2003

posted July 17, 2003 12:11 AM         

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I knew a chimney sweep once, and he had a penchant for using his customers to swab out the kinky, black-sooted abodes of the movie stars he worked in. Unlike most chimney sweeps, he brought panache and style to his job, wearing a fetching Jesuit priest-style coat, and speaking in nothing but a cultured South London accent. He was my least favorite stand-up comedian/house cleaner, but tragically he won the lottery and so died. It was hilarious.

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Hello everybody! I used to be QueenofSheeba and then I was Apollo and now I am QueenofSheeba again (and I'm a guy in case you didn't know)!

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Posts: 269
From: U.S.
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 17, 2003 11:25 AM         

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Offtopic, but . . .Why does this remind me of Rolf from Ed, Edd and Eddy?

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posted July 17, 2003 06:11 PM           

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" Ed? Edd? Eddy? What sort of gibberish is that? What the heck are you talking about? In case you haven't noticed...people are taking great pains to make sense here. Please get with the program ", he jotted down the length of the pumpernickel but it was no use. He couldn't bring himself to email it to her without licking the blue velvet lining one more time for luck. Opening the hood of the letter, he noticed a slight tapping sound coming from the left rear Skinniper orbital sprocket. They rotate left if you don't adjust them properly, clear to murky yellow if you do.

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Posts: 1510
From: The second star to the right (which shines in the night for'eer)
Registered: Apr 2003

posted July 19, 2003 02:31 AM         

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Well, the thing about that is that you must make sure to always get you're moxie up before the entrance. As for getting the job done properly: if that is your aim, then I suggest that the next time you are presented with a choice, you rise to the occaision.

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Posts: 1510
From: The second star to the right (which shines in the night for'eer)
Registered: Apr 2003

posted July 19, 2003 02:42 AM         

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Another:
So what exactly do you mean? Ok I just got a brain-storm. What if you were to give the people what they really want? Buy the sundial and the lotion, put it together and what do you get-a foolproof plan for immediate success. Oh, I was just getting to that-I've been thinking about the peeling too. No more crazy stuff as far as that is concerned: be steady and be true to the method and everything should take care of itself. However if you do not want to be true to the method, you will be taking a chance but keep it up, and if you are true to yourself- you will be pleasantly surprised.

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posted July 20, 2003 12:01 PM           

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"Surprise!!!"

"A birthday party for ME?", Mip thought, then removed the handkerchief from over his eyes.

He certainly wasn't expecting to see a room full of white on red fangs and green scaled tentacles. One that appeared to be the leader approached, drool meandering along the side of his mouth.

"Come along now, that's a good tidbi...er birthday boy. We've got PLENTY of sweet tasty stuff for you to be stuffed..er for you to stuff yourself with."

Mip screamed.

They decided to forgo the pleasantries and skip ahead to the main course.

Stanley Steemer could NOT get the stains out of the carpet.

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