posted October 18, 2003 06:08 PM
Sitting here staring out the window through my steamy eyes to the streamy raindrops that wander aimlessly down the pain. Sitting here, all alone, with a box of Huggy Bears and thoughts of you, snuggle up with both of them for warmth against the lonely.
Sweet bright days gone by when I felt the foreverness of just being with you, under the quilt your little toes against my leg on rainy days like these.
The tears still roll in rivulets drop salty on the tongue, the sweet of joy, the bitter of lonely, the LIFE that is loving you fills mornings with anticipation, nights with wonder and at least one fast beating heart with passion.
Though the tears still roll and the rain still drops and the steamy hot spot of my breath on the window has slowly erased the outside world there is this.
Though these nights will be cold, the time will drag on and the missing you gets hard to bear, when I'm feeling for you with my mind and my soul through this window, these tears and these insecurities, there is still this.
When I'm mentally playing the man's voice in the background that you said was just some guy in the lobby at the convention, but how the hell do I know who it was(?) and then I'm picturing you with this guy getting ready to go dancing and maybe he's this really cool guy who could give you so much more than I could AND still love you as much as I do there is ALWAYS this.
When I'm all alone here, missing you, needing you, wanting you, loving you and yes TRUSTING you, I want you to be out there at the end of the day too. I want you sitting somewhere all alone on a bed with your eyes far away and your mind far away and your heart far away from where you are, because after all of this time...there is this.
If we're all alone and we're far away and I'm missing you and you're missing me, and we're both so cold and we're both full of longing then we're both together in a way, I'm there with you, you're here with me and a few old friends that have always kept me company.
If you're reading this, you've found the box of cookies and this note taped on it's side. Your very own "missing me" kit to tide you over until you come home so that you won't feel so alone in your loneliness. Just crack open the box, read this note, snuggle them both real close and get some sleep, angel. (Oh but put the Huggy Bears on the nightstand first so you don't wake up with Huggy Bears on your face silly.)
Good night sunshine, I love you.
Daf