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Author
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Topic: Untitled for now
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scorpbaby
Knowflake Posts: 254
From: Ny, USA
Registered: Jun 2004
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posted November 06, 2004 12:57 AM
 
Never shared a poem before eek  ~~~~
Your rolling gait is not awkward
Back straight
as the blackboard
legs moving in synch.
They make a rhythm
like my heart
when I see you. The ravens watch with me
from the voyeur's tower
we watch alone here, together.
As you walk I admire the ebony of your coat
against the vacuous face of winter
the contrast reminds me of love. Slowly now, each alternate step
deliberate and perfect
almost to dignify, yet
your head is bowed
your eyes averted to the ground
you watch the frail snowflakes fall without sound
to break your pensive mood
they land on your black, black shoe It is the ache of thought, I know.
I almost know you. You always walk alone.
~~ IP: Logged |
26taurus
Knowflake Posts: 2501
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004
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posted November 06, 2004 02:59 AM
Wow! Beautiful imagery.....I really liked that. Please, share more! IP: Logged |
aqua
Knowflake Posts: 760
From: dreamland
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted November 07, 2004 05:23 AM
very well written scorpbaby!! really nice1IP: Logged |
dafremen
Knowflake Posts: 1019
From:
Registered: Nov 2002
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posted November 07, 2004 09:36 AM
Amazing. You should share more often.daf IP: Logged |
scorpbaby
Knowflake Posts: 254
From: Ny, USA
Registered: Jun 2004
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posted November 07, 2004 10:39 PM
Thanks, I'm really glad you all liked it.  IP: Logged |
paras
Knowflake Posts: 1314
From: the Heart of It All
Registered: May 2004
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posted November 07, 2004 11:23 PM
You're a true artist, Scorpbaby... your words really moved me. Thank you.  ------------------
http://www.mirc.co.uk/ IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 4741
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted November 08, 2004 10:34 AM
****claps!****
That was fabulous!!!! I Really enjoyed that. Thanks.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 19540
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted November 09, 2004 10:12 AM
------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
Sheaa Olein
Knowflake Posts: 1119
From: UK
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted November 11, 2004 09:45 AM
Hey Scorpbaby ~ you really captured a moment's imagery there.
quote:
..each alternate step
deliberate and perfect
almost to dignify,..
It's those little things we all notice and record mentally. quote:
..without sound
to break your pensive mood
they land on your black, black shoe..
I love the word 'pensive'.. I'm so glad I have beautiful fresh poetry to read here when I visit! You should share more often hon  Hopefully be back soon, gotta get back to office stuff right now. S  IP: Logged |
scorpbaby
Knowflake Posts: 254
From: Ny, USA
Registered: Jun 2004
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posted November 11, 2004 01:26 PM
Thanks~Your opinions mean a lot to me!
I'll try to come up with more stuff. I'm taking mostly Literature courses at my University right now so I feel even more inspired to write. But unfortunately I'm my own worst critic and rarely like anything I write for more than a day!IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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