posted December 30, 2004 08:30 AM         

I want to know my ‘dharma’ I have been feeling frustrated, I don’t know what it is that I want to do, most people think that at 22 that’s absolutely normal, the might be right but they left out the frustrating part.
This morning I prayed to be shown my purpose, I said that even if I am meant to serve coffee to people that would be okay as long as I knew what it was that I was meant for.
I want to find my dharma and give myself to it, I don’t want to wait too long, I feel like a flower that has no fragrance or a star that has no twinkle, like a song without a tune and a singer without any voice.

Why is it I wonder here?
If this is it, why don’t I hear?
Dharma, present, these words a part
Seeking mind, frustrated heart.

Some collected poetry over the past few days:

Hey you seeker…
What’s the matter, the wind came by did you miss the whisper?
Couldn’t you catch it with your seeking ways?
Did it pass you by, dreamy nights, and imaginary days?

Hey you seeker,
You with the looking out,
What’s the matter? Couldn’t get what you want
Dry your tears, it wont be long…
When the wind stops dancing it sings a song.

Hey you seeker…
It wont be long, that’s what you say…
Why the sitting still what’s wrong with you today?
You’re letting these tears wet your shirt,
Why wont you get up, why wont you search?

Hey you seeker…
It’s okay to give up

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I feel your beat, your rhythm your flow
I am so close to you if only you know
Why is it I cant convey what I really want to say, but
I’m hoping words will find a way to penetrate your heart
No I’m no good with poetry, but I know that you can read, no I’m no good with painting but I know that you can see...

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Surrender

I think that I’m in control, but on my own
I cannot make my heart beat!
I think that I’m in charge, but on my own cannot even breathe!
Surrender, Surrender the world is falling apart…relax, surrender.

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Don’t say speak

I dreamt that I lost my teeth.
Why is this? What does it mean?
Is there something is should not say?
Is there something I have to speak?
One by one my teeth would fall
Is there anyone who can help?
I’m running around my with nothing in my mouth
Holding my teeth in my hand.
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Here I am

Here I am in the City-Central London it is
Little town called Stanger, dreaming of –this
I can’t believe it, here I am-overseas
This chair I sit on, this desk I work on,
This pen I write with made with every wish!
I’ll take this back with me just in case.
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