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Author Topic:   Not A Lover's Song
whiterabbit
Knowflake

Posts: 278
From: another time
Registered: Aug 2004

posted January 08, 2005 03:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for whiterabbit     Edit/Delete Message
a hand you hold like a lover's hand a mouth that kisses like a lover
But he is not a lover! No,
he is a man who came and went.
And even as you clutch his coat
even as you lie together
long enough for flightless creatures to learn
the trade
long enough for dew and moss to meet
You are not a lover,
no you are the one who comes and goes
In mornings of weeks
that pass in the ways that dreams pass
as you gathered your clothes
and he closes the windows
be careful, for
you were never lovers
you only came and went.

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whiterabbit
Knowflake

Posts: 278
From: another time
Registered: Aug 2004

posted January 08, 2005 03:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for whiterabbit     Edit/Delete Message
just wrote this for a lover who is not a lover.

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26taurus
Moderator

Posts: 4190
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004

posted January 08, 2005 05:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message

Okay, maybe you are my soulmate whiterabbit. *wink wink*

That was beautifully written.
I love this part:

quote:
In mornings of weeks
that passes in the ways that dreams pass
as you gathered your clothes
and he closes the windows

...."the windows"........the eyes?.....

I like it. Please, share more!

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26taurus
Moderator

Posts: 4190
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004

posted January 08, 2005 05:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message
This part too.

quote:
And even as you clutch his coat
even as you lie together
long enough for flightless creatures to learn
the trade
long enough for dew and moss to meet

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pixelpixie
Moderator

Posts: 5768
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003

posted January 10, 2005 01:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message

The last line summed it up beautifully...
"You only came and went."
Great!

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