Posts: 91
From: Heiskell, TN 37754
Registered: Dec 2004

posted June 02, 2005 06:18 PM         

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I put so much faith in what we had.
I love you with everything I am.
And I had so much confidence in us.
But now when I hear your voice and I feel that now familiar stop of my heart, I fear what it is you will say next.
I love you more than the stars.
You drop hints, not the marrying type, bad track record, so on and so forth.
What am I supposed to think when you cut me off midsentence with some lame excuse to say goodbye.
The two words I hate most when it comes to you.
The world sees my pain, and with sympathetic stares tell me just to give you time.
The ones with the honest looks tell me to talk to you.
But instead I listen to my heart and let it go.
No matter that it makes me cry at night.
You joke around, you talk to me, but all of it seems so superficial.
When what I want most is to yell at you to listen to me, to tell me what went wrong and why being in love with you hurts me so.
Especially since we were once so happy.
Maybe you are trying to prepare me for your trip.
The one where you have no idea when you'll be back.
Are you hurting me to save me?
Are you letting go so soon to make it easier on you when I leave like i have the feeling you seem to think?
I am going crazy baby.
Of that I am sure.
I want so badly just to hold you close and tell you I love you and would do anything for that.
I want so badly just to have you look at me in the eye again.
And I want you to stop with this unnecessary quest of yours.
It doesn't have to be like this.
Save your daughter YES!
But don't think you have to let me go.
Get rid of me before I hurt you?
Is that it???
Are you so unsure of my feelings for you that you are trying to save yourself too?
OMG! I can't take this anymore.
I hate being away from you and the phone calls only serve to send my paranoid mind further in this abyss.
When I am with you, I see confidence in your eyes, I see hope for tomorrow.
But when it is time for me to go you shut yourself off from me completely.
I am the one that calls.
I wait and wait and wait....and wait some more.
There is nothing I want more right now than for la femme petite to be well again.
To see you happy again.
But I can't take this not knowing where I stand.
I know that is selfish but you keep hurting me.
How am I supposed to just sit back and take it?
Especially if you think I will hurt you.
How am I supposed to get my point across if you never take the time to talk to me about it??????????
I just don't know anymore.
I love you ..I love you so much.
I love you i love you i love you i love you i love you...
why is it so hard to tell you?
__________________________
kt

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love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove.
William Shakespeare

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Posts: 920
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted June 02, 2005 08:21 PM         

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Posts: 7887
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004

posted June 04, 2005 03:55 PM         

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