leo_on_fire Knowflake Posts: 148 From: Heiskell, TN 37754 Registered: Dec 2004
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posted July 25, 2005 08:41 PM
To try and force your heart not to feel makes it even harder to really let go. Everytime I look at the phone and don't see a blinky light it is easy to forget how to breathe. It is easy to forget how to move. And I don't want to live like that. I don't want to know EXACTLY why it is that everyone stares at me in pity. I don't want to see your face in my dreams. And I don't want to smell and taste you when I haven't seen you in so long. I'm supposed to hate you. I'm supposed to be hard, cold, and bitter. Or at the very least happy to be rid of the most stubborn, single minded individual alive (for once i'm not talking about me). When you hung up on me, and then when you called me back and I threw the phone out the window, I was supposed to feel closure. Wasn't I? Why is it so hard to close this door that leads to you, when I can close any other door in my life at any time and justify it? You are bull headed, prideful, blind, oh so ignorant (ignorant, not stupid. there is a difference) and yet delightfully human, and beautiful, and creative, and wonderful and why is it that with every word I write, I love you more?________________ xx Kt ------------------ love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove. William Shakespeare IP: Logged |