leo_on_fire Knowflake Posts: 191 From: Heiskell, TN 37754 Registered: Dec 2004
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posted September 10, 2005 01:45 AM
Today I had a moment of peace. I knew my truth had come. I finally realized everything I needed. But then it all flew out the window. As soon as it got quiet..I got lost again. Maybe if I hadn't tried so hard. Maybe if I could read your mind. But I did and I can't. So whats the point anymore? I spoke my peace, whether you heard it or not. I did it. I have nothing to be ashamed of, I have no more tears to cry. Its over for now. But I know you. And I know soon, it will hit you. When I'm not there for you to see, when I'm not there for you to secretly watch and try to pretend I didn't see you see me. So I'm making a change. I chopping my hair off, like you didn't want, just to see if I can. To see if I'm brave enough. I loved to young. I gave up too fast. I said okay like my life depended on it. But I still love, and I'll love when I'm old. I'll always love you. But now its through. I'll notice that delivery guy next time right? I'll go out more, I'll flash my eyes and smile. I'll be okay. Cos if I've learned one thing its this, I can live without you. I don't want to..but I can. And I will. And when you notice I'm not there anymore, maybe I'll come back. But for now, I want to live. I would live for you, and be the happiest person alive. But I can be happy without you too. I love you that is so very true. And I know you well enough to know, You'll never forget me. And when I come back, I will find you. I'll look you up, and we'll laugh, and we'll pretend it didn't hurt as bad as it did. And I'll kiss your baby, and I'll leave you to it. And I'll love you then too. And now, I'm crying and sighing and trying. I want to be strong and I did what I felt was right. But its the hardest thing I've ever done. And now, my heart is shredded and I love you more. I miss you more too, but I'm strong enough to go on. I can do this. One last time before I go, I love you. I always do.------------------ love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove. William Shakespeare IP: Logged |