leo_on_fire
Knowflake Posts: 194
From: Heiskell, TN 37754
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted September 28, 2005 02:53 PM
 
I never would have hurt you
I hear your voice in my head and
I see the wink you gave me yesterday
after I washed off all the goop from a game.
Its really so hard to understand how
I manage to remember how to smile
when I work with you every day and
your voice carries to me only because you want it to.
And you make sure to only let me see you when you want me to see you, which even though you give a heroic effort, you still can't convince me or anyone else that you aren't hiding.
Its a smell and a taste and a look and a dark closet off the corridor in a wing away from the rest of the world.
And its believing in something that has no faith in you.
You were sick, sounding more like a croaking frog than a man, and I wanted to fix you soup like I did that last time but I didn't.
I settled with asking you how you were and how she is.
I smiled, and I cut up, and I made jokes, and I walked away from you without tripping.
To the naked eye I suppose it looks like I'm getting there.
We'll let them see what they want to see huh?
I keep getting asked if I'm ok with working with you and if I'm ok with seeing you so much and if you broke my heart.
My answer?
Its not important.
You get so wounded looking when I look at you and you are trying not to look back.
Does anyone else realize just how annoying that is?
But I don't back down anymore.
I stare and I won't look down anymore.
Its rude I know. How rude.
But whatever.
Its holding on to the rail as you lean over the edge looking so far down and holding on to me so that I would look even though you know how scared I am of heights.
All feet need to be firmly planted on the ground at all times and with you...
You were always making me fly.
And I liked it.
I keep remembering the way you touched me,
and the way you held my hand while you were driving, inadvertently teaching me how to shift left handed.
The look of disbelief when you discovered we were both south paws, telling me there was no way I was left handed because my handwriting is too beautiful.
I don't know which turn to take anymore, its all so confusing and surreal right now.
Hazey and faded and lost.
And when I stare off I am remembering, taking myself back to what it was.
Thats a dangerous thing to do when it comes to you.
Nothing ever stayed, nothing was allowed to stay the same.
Except for you.
Always you.------------------
love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove.
William Shakespeare IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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posted September 29, 2005 01:01 PM
