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Author Topic:   doubt...you hurt me
Virgo-AriesArtist
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Posts: 1403
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted February 23, 2006 11:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo-AriesArtist     Edit/Delete Message
I see myself stuck in patterns
I look for things to doubt
Sick and painful as it is
Why must I seek out hurt?
The closer I get to trusting
The more I want a quick way out

Must there be a point of losing,
When we haven't made the move to make "us" clear?
I suppose I see how you believe yourself single,
even when it burns to read that phrase
My heart has been laid cautiously on the line
Though I long to give it to you with free abandon

Can't you see how unsafe it is,
Why I'm scared each day I love you?
When I give my love whole-heartedly,
My loved ones pick up and go away
If I block you out first,
There's a better chance I'll survive

So it starts off with imagined slights
Ways you have hurt me unawares
Then I wrack my brain for every little scar
Any instance where you let me down
These bruises become the master list of wrongs
So I can justify why you make me frown

Can you, will you understand.
Pause and realize I am easily hurt?
Do you want to take this on,
I'm working on being more secure
Still I wish I knew where we stood,
And what "I love you" means to you...?

------------------
-K
"...poetry is the subtle alchemy of a sensitive soul

like hell it is

poetry is what squeezes out of you
when you've been squashed by Life, like a bug" ~Gooberz

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lotusheartone
Knowflake

Posts: 9388
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005

posted February 23, 2006 11:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lotusheartone     Edit/Delete Message
Oh My Sweeite,

this is doubt and fear, and when two beings come close to being together and the negative forces heap up..

Listen to your Heart, it will not fail you..I'm sure he meant single as in being a whole person..aren't you going to see your Brain soon?

Gosh I am following your Love Story, mine's on the back burner, I'm waiting..

But you have Love right in front of you, embrace it, enjoy it!
we all say and write stupid things that come out the wrong way, that's a negative force at work..

I'm lighting a Candle for you rright now..and Sending lots of positive energy, so you can see clearly, everything is alright..

Love to you. ...

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Virgo-AriesArtist
Moderator

Posts: 1403
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted February 23, 2006 12:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo-AriesArtist     Edit/Delete Message
Yes, I am going to see my Brian soon...the thing that triggered this poem was seeing the profile he just created for himself on myspace.com...he listed his relationship status as 'single' (while I have listed mine as 'in a relationship'). He's been talking about setting up this profile on myspace.com for a couple of months, and he finally told me he had created one on Tuesday. Weird that he would tell, as if he wanted me to see it...I know we were only 'together' in person for 2 weeks and two days but he tells me he loves me every time we talk, and I guess I consider him the closest thing I've ever had to a boyfriend...maybe he's not sure about the whole distance thing, and frankly, neither am I cause it drives me crazy to be far away distance-wise from one I love that much. But I want to make this work, that's why I'm travelling 2500 miles to see if we can, and if it's really worth holding onto. I'm scared and nervous and everything in between, and it's tearing me up right now...I keep saying to myself, "don't make any hasty judgements til you see him again..." but it's hard.
Thanks for the positive light, lotusheartone...I really really appreciate it.

------------------
-K
"...poetry is the subtle alchemy of a sensitive soul

like hell it is

poetry is what squeezes out of you
when you've been squashed by Life, like a bug" ~Gooberz

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lotusheartone
Knowflake

Posts: 9388
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005

posted February 23, 2006 12:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lotusheartone     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Sweetie,
I don't know about myspace, But do you have to check a box single or married? Your status..in society, he would be considered single..
men think differently than we do, we use our emotions more..
I think when you See him, everything will just fall into place, a chemical re-action of LOVE, hehe..

Gosh, aren't you excited? I'm excited for you.. I Love, Love stories..
to happy ending's which are beginning's to ALL. ...

Love Love Love

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Virgo-AriesArtist
Moderator

Posts: 1403
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted February 23, 2006 03:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo-AriesArtist     Edit/Delete Message
True, I do suppose you are right...the choices/boxes to check on myspace.com are: 'swinger, in a relationship, single, married, divorced'...

I'm sure you are right about him and seeing him....that will make all the difference. I'm the one he calls when he needs someone to talk to, and his world is going crazy, I'm the one he says he misses, I'm the one he's excited about showing his homeland to, I'm the one who he tells to call him whenever I'm upset, cause he wants to be there for me, I'm the one he spent his "happiest two weeks ever" with...
He's the one who helped me pack up my apartment when we we both leaving at the end of the Disney College Program, he's the one who calmed me down when I was panicing about luggage problems on the train ride back, he's the one I've written love poems to and shared them with, he's the one whose hugs I love because he squuezes nice and tight, he's the first one I ever kissed, and he was totally cool with that fact, he's the one who respects me enough when I say no to listen.

YES, I am very excited! I get to kiss and hug him in around 92 hours It makes me believe in happy endings again...and optimism.

------------------
-K
"...poetry is the subtle alchemy of a sensitive soul

like hell it is

poetry is what squeezes out of you
when you've been squashed by Life, like a bug" ~Gooberz

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lotusheartone
Knowflake

Posts: 9388
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005

posted February 24, 2006 11:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lotusheartone     Edit/Delete Message
about 77 hours left, hehe
I just know you will have a wonderful time!
Wishing the best...

Sending you lots of LOVE...

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Lialei
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Posts: 1299
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted February 25, 2006 01:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
:beheart:

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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 1299
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted February 25, 2006 01:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
:beheart: ~~ a typo, but I'll leave it.

best of All to you, V-AA

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lotusheartone
Knowflake

Posts: 9388
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005

posted March 05, 2007 08:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lotusheartone     Edit/Delete Message

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