Author
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Topic: Why
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MysticMelody Knowflake Posts: 2919 From: Registered: Dec 2005
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posted January 25, 2007 02:19 AM
Is it really an accident What a lovely design it's madeAnd is my flesh the enemy Only when the bed needs made Is it pointless to begin with pure clean sheets We lay beneath the comforter womb and giggle
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InLoveWithLife Knowflake Posts: 1530 From: Wonderland Registered: Aug 2006
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posted January 29, 2007 05:09 PM
MM...is that an ode to your bed? if so, i love it!! esp during winters i find it soooo difficult to crawl out of my bed to begin the day...just feel like lying there for ever ohh...and those words 'comforter womb' describe the feeling so perfectly!IP: Logged |
MysticMelody Knowflake Posts: 2919 From: Registered: Dec 2005
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posted January 30, 2007 05:56 PM
It's original title was Why Live. I should have went with that... oops! Let me know what you think now and if that changes your view of it. IP: Logged |
InLoveWithLife Knowflake Posts: 1530 From: Wonderland Registered: Aug 2006
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posted January 30, 2007 09:52 PM
hehe...sorry for misunderstanding the poem. but since i thought it implied 'why get out of the bed' i have quite taken to tht interpretation but yes, it does make sense with 'why live' too....hmmmm...kind of deep, then, isn't it? (which my shallow and LAZY self didn't comprehend the first time....lol)the futility of starting over....i see wht ya mean.... methinks death is not an unpleasant experience....what lies beyond, might just be the stuff dreams r made of....'and giggle' sums it up. IP: Logged |
Yang Knowflake Posts: 2295 From: A temporary home Registered: May 2004
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posted January 31, 2007 09:30 AM
Lovely, lovely IP: Logged |
sue g Knowflake Posts: 8591 From: former land of the leprechaun Registered: Sep 2004
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posted February 01, 2007 08:45 AM
Oh lovely.....I love this....toe curling and delicious IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross Knowflake Posts: 6015 From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA Registered: Aug 2004
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posted February 01, 2007 08:30 PM
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MysticMelody Knowflake Posts: 2919 From: Registered: Dec 2005
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posted February 02, 2007 12:20 AM
InLove I think life is the stuff "dreams are made of" too. I think it's cool that you used that phrase. Everyone, How nice!!!!! IP: Logged |
Bluemoon Knowflake Posts: 4455 From: Stafford, VA USA Registered: Feb 2005
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posted February 02, 2007 06:32 PM
LovelyIP: Logged |
MysticMelody Knowflake Posts: 2919 From: Registered: Dec 2005
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posted March 05, 2007 12:43 AM
Well, that's 3-4 "lovely"s and a thumbs-up from you beautiful people, but here is what my poetry teacher lady said:Why Live- Is it really an accident IS *WHAT* AN ACCIDENT? What a lovely design it's made And is my flesh the enemy Only when the bed needs made THE ANSWER TO THE PREVIOUS LINE? Is it pointless to begin with pure clean sheets We lay beneath LIE the comforter womb NICE PHRASE and giggle THIS POEM WOULD BE MORE EFFECTIVE IF IT WERE MORE SPECIFIC. I LIKE THE QUESTIONS; IT MIGHT WORK WELL TO ASK IN THE FIRST LINE AND ANSWER IN THE SECOND, ALTERNATING VOICES UNTIL THE HAPPY ENDING. She didn't understand it either, maybe it was for too specific of an audience? Anyway, she liked my four other poems and 2 riddles (well she didn't get the "music" one but the young kids in my class did...), but also didn't get my Innocence poem. Now I have to be willing to work on them and change them so they are more easily understood and I just hate to be easily understood... hehe
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MysticMelody Knowflake Posts: 2919 From: Registered: Dec 2005
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posted January 04, 2008 10:33 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^"Now I have to be willing to work on them and change them so they are more easily understood and I just hate to be easily understood... hehe" ~me IP: Logged |