posted June 07, 2007 02:07 PM         

I've got some thinking to do!

posted June 12, 2007 07:59 AM         

sometimes i fantasize about deleting every post ive ever written at lindaland...........
but first i would print out all of my "works" because , biting my bottom lip, im narcassitic like that.

p.s..
(to be read in a normal tone)
our human failings are beautiful,sometimes.

p.s.s.

posted June 12, 2007 06:56 PM         

Stephen,
I just want to take this opportunity to tell you that you are AMAZING
You have tried very hard and stuck around while being attacked and utterly ganged up on on that thread on FFA that dare not speak it's name, lol. Your patience and straightforward attempts at clarity and truth are awe-inspiring especially in such a harsh environment of really angry people who twist everything. I don't know how you do/did it.
I am very proud of the way you stick up for yourself and speak the truth despite the negative voices.

Just remember that your love shines a million times brighter in contrast to the shadow of their negativity.

"I've always thought that if I was popular, I must be doing something wrong."
--Suzanne Vega

posted June 12, 2007 07:03 PM         

this is all about acceptance, all of us accepting each other as we are, respecting and treating each other with reverence, as we are all equal. ...

LOve to ALL... .

posted June 12, 2007 09:38 PM         

GOD BLESS YOUR ANGEL HEART!!!

You just made me feel sooooooo gooooood!!!!!

I've been learning how to stand alone, but, still, you don't know what it means to me to hear someone who understands and echoes the deepest knowings in my heart. I suspect you represent the silent majority here a LL, with the distinction that you have the BALLS to speak your truth, knowing you are probably going to be hounded from thread to thread and slandered like mad, lol. You should see my latest post in that thread. I'm shining brighter than ever! This has been such a profound learning experience for me.

I knew I could count on you.

"Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid."
- Goethe

posted June 12, 2007 09:55 PM         

I think you have created your own world, all by yourSelf, by your Free Wi11 choice.
You have chosen not to accept all your brothers and sisters, no one excluded, as your equals, as they are, yet you expect them to include you as you are, it works both ways. ...

posted June 12, 2007 10:30 PM         

I understand what you are trying to do, and I thank you.
I believe you are sincerely trying and I wish you continued progress.

I do see us as all equal in spirit, believe it or not, but I no longer allow that perception to blind me to the very real and obvious differences that exist on the soul, emotional, mental, and personality levels. Call it my Virgo North Node kicking in. I still wish love and healing to everyone (which is a great deal more than many have wished for me), but I am learning how to be firm and not to compromise my truth for the sake of diplomacy. People need to hear the truth. I believe I would not have been granted the priviledge to hear it if I were the type to keep it to myself. I know it hurts sometimes, but when a person has proven they are deaf to love and understanding, they need a hard slap of reality to wake them up. If reality hurts when they are opposed to it, they need only to align themselves with it, and all will be well. Who shows me courtesy will receive the double the courtesy in return, and who shows me their teeth will get the boot.

In other words, I will give them the love, but never the lie.

hsc

ps. Are you familiar at all with the story of Abelard ("Abelard and Heloise")? He was a monk in the Middle Ages and the greatest logician of his day. He faced incredible persecution from his "brothers" in the faith because he consistently outshined them and incited their envy, and because he reminded them of the highest ideals, which they were determined to forget. Reading his story, I was almost disbelieving that people could sink to the despicable behaviors he describes. I've been so naive, but now I see there are people out there who will lie and lie and spew and spew and never give it a second thought. It still makes my head spin. I do pray for the souls of such people. I would never condemn anyone, but I will not temper my judgment of them either (which is not to say that I will exaggerate it, or lie, or spew dehumanizing insults; for these are the very things I feel called to judge), for that is to enter into and encourage their delusion. The way I see it, in the long run, the most merciful thing I can do for them is tell them the truth.

You may disagree, and I may be wrong. But this feels very right to me, at the moment. Time will tell, I guess. I really wanted to cure with love, undivided attention, and compromise, Lotus. I really did. I tried harder than you know. It failed, so now I'm trying love, boundaries, and uncompromising truth. If this is error, may I be swiftly struck down and shown the error of my ways. (Amen)

posted June 12, 2007 10:40 PM         

The thing is, you are not aware of everything going on around you, you lack to see the true big picture, I have been in your shoes, and I will tell you, there are no better teachers, than here, to teach you the harsh life lessons we so need, I understand how you feel, you obvioulsy have not followed my story here for the last two years.
I have learned so much, and even this past week, passing judgement on you and others, speaking my truth, but in the wrong way, we lead by example, your examples have shone us you do drugs, lots of drugs, and that almost once a month you talk about suicide, and wanting to die, this is not mastership, remember who you are, you are no better than me, I am no better than you, Live it, breath it, and practice what you preach, in a true sense, not mind altered state. ...

Then, shall you see the Big Picture,
we are all equal, and we all have something to learn from one another. ...

posted June 12, 2007 11:00 PM         

I hear you. But no man is receptive to the WHOLE truth. I must still speak my piece. I am greatly receptive to truth, for a multitude of reasons, even despite the abuse I've done to my instrument, and despite, or, perhaps, in some cases, because of the psychedelic substances I have used.

If you will study the lives of all the mystics, you will find that every one of them had faults and many dark nights of the soul. These are all tests they were deemed worthy to bear. Indeed, every one of them confessed to being in possession of greater powers of some kind, and this admission was not counted for arrogance or condescention. I know that it is not my will, and it is not on account of anything I have done, but only the grace of God's will, that I have been blessed with certain abilities. Recognizing and admitting them is not paramount to denying love. Also, I know that God has the power to raise anyone up at any time, and cast anyone down. I know it is dynamic, and my judgements are not final. Some truths are true for the moment, and some are eternally true. That I am gifted is true for the moment, but all this may be taken from me in an instant. It is not my spirit. It is not God, who alone endures.

What I am doing now is not at all like the way you were behaving in the past. In the past, you were screaming at people in capital letters with exclaimation points, telling them they disgusted you, and how repulsed you were, and how happy you would be to see them fall. I am doing none of this. Understand, there is a world of difference between my honest confidence in myself and my abilities, and your former blindness to universal principles, and venomous fanaticism.

Love to you,
HSC

posted June 12, 2007 11:11 PM         

You make excuses for yourself, through others follies, you fool yourSelf in essence.

So, what is the new drug you are intaking?

posted June 12, 2007 11:15 PM         

Role: ~Peace Maker~

Lesson: Balance between relating and standing alone

Element: Air/Water

Wind: East ~Peace and Illumination~

Medicine: Uniqueness

~Keywords~

Ability to Stand Alone

Uniqueness Independence

Call to Balance Self-Esteem

Boundaries

Dignity Exploration Peace

Fluidity

Peace

Blue in nature is connection to Father Sky and also represents Peace and Tranquility. In Esoteric thought, deep blue is also the color of the sixth chakra which corresponds to the third eye. Hence, insight and psychic vision are also emphasized here.

Although the Great Blue Heron is by nature a predominantly solitary bird, during mating season, Herons will gather in clusters to nest and raise young in what are called ~colonies.~ It is quite remarkable to witness the peace and harmony that abounds in these colonies, and is a testimony to the ability of a highly independent creature to adapt to ~communal life.~

If Great Blue Heron is one of the Primary Totems, throughout life much interest will be focused in establishing and maintaining Peace. Initially however, this quest for harmony may manifest as the Blue Heron Soul attempting to direct Others to such a state, preliminarily failing to recognize that Peace must first come from ~Within.~ Consider the following quote
by the renowned Sioux Holy Man, Black Elk:

"The first peace, which is the most important, is that which
comes within the souls of the people when they realize their relationship,
their oneness with the Universe and all its powers,
and when they realize that at the center of the universe
dwells the Great Spirit, and that this center is really everywhere,
it is within each of us."

When Blue Heron soul finds that Peace within the ~Self,~ the lesson gained in the journey there will be shared as a means of guiding ~Others~ to finding that same Peace within.

Uniqueness

Their blue feathers are also a feature that distinguishes them from other members of the Crane family. These separating characteristics suggest that those beside whom Great Blue Heron flies will
also be individualists who will utilize their own differences to elicit change in the world around them.

For those with Blue Heron as a Totem, there will be a desire to establish themselves as a unique and independent Being, often making these souls the revolutionaries that disrupt the status quo of society in order to elicit change and evolution. Although this is a trait with many challenges, when operating from its Highest Vibration, Blue Heron souls teach the rest of us the value and importance of each individual contribution to the Whole.

On a spiritual level, there will be a phase of awkwardness and groping for identity. Many revolutionary ideas are first conceptualized by the Blue Heron individual, as they will not be content with watching society operate in the same mode it has done for generations. As a child this independent thought will be a great consternation to parents and guardians, yet as the body, mind and soul of Blue Heron grows and develops, this same ability to think independently will serve them well.

Ability to Stand Alone

It is not uncommon to see a Great Blue Heron standing with one leg drawn up in a resting position, and balancing like a seasoned acrobat on the other leg. Herons are often spied dozing while standing thus on one foot as well (like their White Stork cousins) and as discussed earlier, tend to prefer solitude and their own company (when not in mating season and living in communal colonies).

This indicates a powerful Lesson for those who share this Earthwalk with Blue Heron Totem, as there will be many experiences in learning to operate independently and to trust and rely heavily on the ~Self.~ This can be a dual-edged sword however, as much like the Heron must find the proper equilibrium to balance on one leg, the two-legged beside whom Heron flies must also learn the delicate balance and counter-balance between independence and cooperative loving and living with ~Others~

The primary focus is upon gaining enough self-confidence that they are well capable of relying upon their own highly developed sense of timing and action, and tempering it with embracing loving relationships that operate within healthy parameters and involve requisite sharing and co-nurturing with the respect of individual freedom and independence. Yet when this fine balance is struck, the end result is a beauty to behold and often leads these souls down the pathway as impartial judges, counselors and artists who convey through their choice of medium a world in which all live in true
Harmony.

posted June 12, 2007 11:17 PM         

When a lone wolf is spotted in the wilderness it embodies the energy of freedom. When seen in a pack it embodies a sense of community. If wolf appears to you alone or in a pack it is asking you to acquire the same within your own life. In spite of their negative press wolves are actually friendly, social and highly intelligent.

The wolf's senses are highly developed. Their intelligence is marked with excellent hearing, sense of smell and strong feeling. They are determined as well as cunning and use these skills for the benefit of the pack. The howl of the wolf is primal and penetrating. They howl to find other pack members or to let wolves from outside of the pack know their territory boundaries. If you hear a wolf howl it might be telling you to stand your ground and defend your boundaries.

Wolf teaches you to have a balance between the needs your family has of you and the needs you have for yourself. They are totally loyal to the pack but do not give up their identity to the pack. If wolf appears in your life you are being asked to look at where you are being too dependent and where you may be too independent. In both family and community there needs to be a balance.

Wolves... do not fight unnecessarily and often go out of their way to avoid fighting. Sometimes a growl, a glance, a posture is all that is necessary to determine dominance. Wolf teaches those with this medicine to know who you are and to develop strength and confidence in what you do.

posted June 12, 2007 11:21 PM         

I've presented the truth as i saw it.
I will never knowingly speak untruth.

You have said things about my drug use that is exaggerated and untrue, but that doesnt really bother me. I have not taken anything for over a week, and nothing other than pot since I posted that thread about tripping alone. Actually, I did have a couple of glasses of wine the other day.

posted June 12, 2007 11:24 PM         

Ggod Night!

posted June 12, 2007 11:29 PM         

I have not denied my drug use.

posted June 12, 2007 11:31 PM         

That is the truth.

And I am not sure how I feel about acid, anyway.

I think, probably, pure LSD is okay,
but there is a lot of "bad acid" out there.

I would rather stick to the natural substances.

LSD is derived from mold, or something, anyway, isn't it?

posted June 12, 2007 11:32 PM         

Come on. You can do this.