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Author Topic:   Crappy Night of Dreams
Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 4778
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted July 14, 2007 10:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
All night, in the astral world, I was being insulted, emasculated, and treated like a full-blooded jerk by women I felt vulnerable to. Naiad gave me a clock full of secret compartments and in every one of them there was a painful note. The first note told me to stay away from her. The others said things like "you think you know everything" and stuff like that. I tried to defend myself but everyone had already made up their minds about me. I walked up to this other girl, some moviestar i like, and stopped her on the stairs (this HUGE staircase) and I was very scorpio, very intense and in desperation, asking for her help. And she had like no reaction, she was like a non-entity, looking through me. I woke up really surprised to find it was a dream, and i felt so drained and just like i had been fighting all night to defend my name to people who i cared about and whose opinion meant something to me. Then i got a hard time from the people i live with. Now I'm using a library computer. My inbox had none of the replies I want so badly. I hate my stupid Scorpio Venus in retrograde, so sensitive to the ups and downs of relationships, and i hate my stupid 1st house aqua moon, always saying impulsive things and making me look crazy. I dont want to be this emotional. Damn New Moon in Cancer conjunct my Descendant today. Damn Mars conjunct my IC, opposing my stellium today. Now there's some todler whining behind me, and that is one of the most depressing sounds in the world, lol. Worst of all, I dont even expect to be understood and sympathized with. I somehow expect everyone to hate me and judge me now. I have this really gross feeling that the whole world has given up on me and turned its back.


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naiad
Knowflake

Posts: 1267
From:
Registered: Sep 2006

posted July 14, 2007 10:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for naiad     Edit/Delete Message
awwwww....Stephen....i am so sorry that i gave you a clock full of painful missives. . i myself did not encounter you in the astral last night, so please be sure that my presence in your dream must be representative of some part of your unconscious....

you always will find symapthy with me dear friend, never a turned back. there was one time that i didn't agree with some of your actions, as i think we all are prone to do with each other, but i have the highest regard for you and the contribution you make to this world.

just be you, the wonderful you who you know you are, and let the world heap its adulation at your feet.

cheer up old boy......your astral experience probably is simply some sort of manifestation of your own insecurities.

you know you possess limitless bundles of love, from all over the universe...tap into them!

love, light and beauty...

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 2200
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted July 14, 2007 03:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Cancer: where is the vomiting emoticon?

Well, I think everyone is wrapped up in their womb cocoon and everyone wants to be taken care of and no one feels like doing the caring. It seems like sickness is all around me lately and I actually started laughing about it at an inappropriate time yesterday when I was giving someone some bad news. I alternate between wanting to be left the heck alone to wanting to reach out and share love (loved that thing you shared in the People thread naiad) but I also think I might be oversensitive and crabby in between my intermittent bursts of nurturing. "Whining toddlers" or the equivalent for a 4 year old comes to mind. I have spent more "quality" time lately than I have for a long time, so I am grateful for whatever insanity has pushed me away from the books and into closeness with my daughter, but that is the only bonus.
Take care, Steve Wish I could offer more than similar experience, but waaaaaah! I want my mommy too!!!!!!! Figuratively of course.
Much love

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 2200
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted July 14, 2007 03:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Moon in Cancer

Keywords: Reflective, Passive, Clinging, Maternal, Sensitive, Vulnerable

Those born with the moon in a Water sign need to establish solid emotional commitments. Before considering the practicality of a situation, and before objectively examining the facts, they react emotionally. They are highly intuitive, though at times it is deceptively self-serving.

As lunar Water sign personalities, those with moon in Cancer may have a certain awkwardness in their bearing and approach. Creative and sensitive, they are apt to have artistic talent or at least great appreciation for the arts. They are vulnerable to the influence of those with whom they spend the most time, making it hard to distinguish whether they are expressing their own opinions or merely reflecting those of someone else. They can be extremely passive when it comes to extricating themselves from unhappy emotional situations. They may even cling to such situations after they have managed to find happiness elsewhere. They hate to throw anything away. Lack of motivation can make them lazy, disorganized and sloppy.

Cancerian moon personalities are dedicated to getting their own way and accomplishing personal goals. They can be quite shy when initially confronted with unfamiliar situations and when meeting total strangers. Once they feel comfortable, they become more outgoing and even aggressive. Their nurturing nature makes them hospitable, compassionate, and philanthropic. Strong identification with the concept of family makes them treat everyone as part of the family. They often use this kind of approach as a successful ploy in getting others to cooperate. As babies they tend to be finicky eaters or develop food allergies. As adults they have an unfortunate tendency to use food as an emotional pacifier.

Vulnerable, possessive, emotionally dependent, and demanding the women with moon Cancer are at the mercy of their conflicting feelings. Emotionally they are their own worst enemy. They are highly intuitive and creative once they learn to control their emotional tidal waves. Men with Cancer moon have a streak of domesticity, the potential of which includes gardening, cooking, or concern with household furnishings. It is often hard for them to act with sustained aggressiveness in emotional situations.
http://www.0800-horoscope.com/moonsigns/cancer.html

This part caught my eye on the Google search:
"Vulnerable, possessive, emotionally dependent, and demanding". There is some insight here for sure. God bless and protect the children born today and help them fulfill the highest vibration of their chart.

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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 4778
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted July 15, 2007 12:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks, gals.

Naiad,
I've no doubt your presence in my dream reflects some part of my own unconscious.
In fact,
I barely doubt that your presence in my life reflects some part of my unconscious.
After all, life is but a dream. Or a nightmare.

Insecurities, insecurities, insecurities.
I've got my share. Nuff said.

Thank you for all the nice things you said,
they made me feel nice.


Melody, cheer the f-- up, now.
This world isnt big enough for me
and anyone else in pain.
I've already got the world on my shoulders
and stuck in my throat.
It's about me, me, me, remember?
Am I the only one who gets this, geez.
Just kidding, btw.
I love you. Keep on keepin on.
blah blah blah rkgpregkrpeogkqe0rgkportgkporqtgkqopdc

[edited]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=HnPOUnINM9s

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 2200
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted July 15, 2007 03:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
WHO are you talking to?
I'll assume the "judge this" is open for anyone to respond...
ok honey, you asked for it.

Men with more feminine energy need women with the same balance of masculine energy. You might have more feminine energy than the average guy, but if you are seeking a really feminine female, she might fit your rant.

Also, if you aren't clear and direct enough, you won't get clear and direct responses. If you do the Scorpio conceal motives/emotions thing, that is what you will get back unless the woman is too dull to notice you are doing just that. That is why some Scorp types think they have to start some sh!t and get everyone upset so they can see the true feelings come out. But lucky you with that Uranian heart, when you slice them open and stuff starts flying, you can float above it all and watch with detachment. This is a very unnerving quality and makes you incredibly intimidating. Its easy to see you can cut with precision. Its easy to see that you will cut if you think it is for the best and will let the puss out, and eventually heal the wound.
You say that it is not a war, but by your very nature you stand with a sharp, penetrating knife and ask a woman to lay before you naked on the bed. This takes the highest level of trust.

Trust takes time and builds slowly. Passion is quick and overwhelming. Its like starting a campfire with a bunch of substantial wood by hosing it down with fuel and then throwing in a match. It burns HIGH AND HOT for a brief period of time (and might singe your eyelashes) and then goes out because no matter how hot it is temporarily, it is not hot enough to give the substantial pieces what they need to keep burning.

Now, if you start with a lot of twigs, and some dry grass (and I like to use some pine needles when they are available, because they are quite incendiary) and you carefully place them in a pyramid (allowing for plenty of air) and you start THAT on fire and keep adding larger and larger twigs, the substantial pieces will eventually catch fire and they will burn for a long long time. Then all you have to do is throw on a substantial piece, or two, every so often and a few more for extra flame (or some extra twigs and pine needles for a real show) whenever you desire it.
And if it ever goes out, the substantial pieces have produced coals that can be stirred at any time.

So sayeth earth
*gavel*
Your judgment is concluded.
Go in peace.

MUCH LOVE

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 2200
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted July 15, 2007 03:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Nice clip. The shoes should appear more scuffed.
I'm going to buy that one from ebay.

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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 4778
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted July 15, 2007 06:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
The shoes were new,
she just bought them,
she's in love with the guy who sold them to her.

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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 4778
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted July 15, 2007 06:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85pP7yvA3do

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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 4778
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted July 15, 2007 06:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
What you wrote was thought-provoking and well written. I dont really know what to say, or if my present situation fits with what you said, but I'm saving it for future reference. Thanks. It's true, I need a real girly girl to make me feel like a man. It's pathetic.

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 2200
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted July 15, 2007 08:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Well, don't mind me, you know I write more from personal experience/inspiration and when I get "on a roll" write more of an article than a reply anyway.

I just watched the first part of that video.
Since I first met you, your sharing has had the ability to casually reach inside me and pull out twisted old wounds, leaving them flopping in front of me in the Light. I have never cried so much out of relief and joy.
Help! Help! I'm being un-repressed!

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 2200
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted July 15, 2007 08:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Oh, and thank you and no problem... and I think I see now why my ex was practically a caveman...

True strength, I'm learning more and more to be attracted to true strength in myself and others. Breathe.

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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 4778
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted July 16, 2007 06:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
Since I first met you, your sharing has had the ability to casually reach inside me and pull out twisted old wounds, leaving them flopping in front of me in the Light. I have never cried so much out of relief and joy.
Help! Help! I'm being un-repressed!

LOL,
Hmmmm,
I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that
my Chiron closely conjuncts your Imum Coeli??

You know, Chiron, the wounded healer,
and the only "planet" occupying an entire half of my chart,
opposing my Sun and squaring my Moon.


love ya,
check your email,
S

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naiad
Knowflake

Posts: 1267
From:
Registered: Sep 2006

posted July 24, 2007 05:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for naiad     Edit/Delete Message
HSC ~ feelin' better? happier dreams, travels in the astral?

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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 4778
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted July 28, 2007 06:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message

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