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Author
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Topic: Poem For My brother who is terminally ill
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sinderlou
Knowflake Posts: 579
From:
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 06, 2007 09:39 AM
 
Hold Your Hand Before You Fly
Let me rest here for while
With you
I want to feel your essence
Your love
Let me tell you what I know
Let me be at your side
Hold your hand
And all the while
Tell you how
Much I love you
Even with absence of words
My presence
And your presence
Knows
There is much more
Than the here
This place
This state
We are in right now
One day
My dear one
We will hold
Hands again
But not like this
and
I will see your
Ravaged body
Transformed
And I know
That you will
Be there for me
With open arms
And a smile wide
And then you
Will take my
Hand
To help me fly
IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake Posts: 5017
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted September 06, 2007 12:33 PM
This is so beautiful.My love and prayers to you and yours.   IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Knowflake Posts: 2403
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted September 06, 2007 04:38 PM
It IS beautiful. If you don't show him the others, I hope you DO show him this one. 
I think it will help him feel safe and eternally connected to you. Less fearful of his journey... but maybe you have already shared some. I hope so. It will be such a blessing to him to know you will always be thinking of him and communicating with him. He won't feel alone.
It really is perfect.  IP: Logged |
Bluemoon
Knowflake Posts: 4368
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted September 06, 2007 06:48 PM
IP: Logged |
sinderlou
Knowflake Posts: 579
From:
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 06, 2007 11:23 PM
thanks so much. I feel like writing is helping me try to accept this. I am trying to make sense that someone so young who had so much left to do in their life will be leaving and i will have to say good bye. I will show him what i have been writing soon. It will be time soon. at one point we tried to hold on to some hope but now it is just acceptance. its hard to talk about this and my outside doesn't show the pain inside unless i write it out. thanks again guys. I appreciate you for listening. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 9913
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted September 07, 2007 12:25 AM
That was really touching.IP: Logged |
yourfriendinspirit
Knowflake Posts: 633
From: California, USA
Registered: Oct 2006
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posted September 07, 2007 12:42 AM
My heart genuinely goes out to you and your family!
Your poetry is a very healthy expression for your pain and healing.I too, hope you share this with your brother. Perhaps he himself is writing? A thought may be, that you collect these to compile to a book of sorts to present to him as a gift from your heart. Wow! My heart really aches just imagining the pain you must be experiencing as well as the feelings of being unable to change the realities of the situation. He is lucky to have you to share this with.
As difficult as this may be...
You really are a beautiful connection to hold hands with -always sharing "Life".
------------------
Sendin' love your way,
"your friend in spirit" IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Knowflake Posts: 2403
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted September 07, 2007 04:01 AM
sinderlou it seems like a song
IP: Logged |
sinderlou
Knowflake Posts: 579
From:
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 07, 2007 08:56 AM
mysticmelody.......I think you may be right about a song. I didn't look at it that way before but I can make a song with it. (Ironically) My band and I was asked to do a cancer benefit in November, perhaps I can preform it by then. IP: Logged |
nattie33
Knowflake Posts: 256
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005
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posted September 07, 2007 10:55 AM
Sinderlou i am saying prayers for you and your family.IP: Logged |
Lialei
Knowflake Posts: 1655
From:
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted September 10, 2007 11:01 PM
yes, a beautiful song, sinderlou {{{ }}} IP: Logged |
praecipua
Knowflake Posts: 8
From: england
Registered: Aug 2007
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posted September 10, 2007 11:12 PM
REALLY MOVING SINDERLOU, I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER WORDS. COURAGE TO YOU IP: Logged |
sinderlou
Knowflake Posts: 579
From:
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 12, 2007 09:29 AM
You all are such good people. I want to thank you for your feedback and understanding. This is such a good way to start to come to terms with something so sad. To start to express it now so it doesn't effect me too hard later. I am trying to do anything positive in this situation and if you find any goodness and beauty in any thing i write (I do not consider myself a poet by the way) then that is something good and bright in a sad and dark situation. thanks again. Your sincerity will never be forgotten. this is for you guys.......... Your Words Though
You may be
faceless
In this crowd
Of millions
Your warmth
And courage
Rings through
The masses
Rings through
The vastness
Through space
Through time
Your words
So gentle
So kind
Find their
Way
To touch
One lone
Heart IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Knowflake Posts: 2403
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted September 12, 2007 10:50 AM
You are absolutely a poet. All musicians are artists, poets... and your word poetry is also exquisitely beautiful. You really have to share them with your brother. Sit and read to him and share some great huge sobs and healing tears. You have no idea what a relief it will be to him. You can just tell him that you write these when you even THINK of losing him. I understand because my favorite aunt has breast cancer that is back again and they say this time for good. The median time for survival is a year and a half, even with chemo. She just has this happy Pisces, can I take care of YOU attitude and it is so hard to penetrate.
I'm going to call her right now and go there today. Take my own advice for once. You take my advice too because I can feel it is coming from somewhere great. God, he needs you. You know he does. A whole lifetime of being so separate from the ones we love and even close to death we are having this huge trouble breaking through. I am crying. I am going to do it.
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sinderlou
Knowflake Posts: 579
From:
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 12, 2007 03:48 PM
Mystic Melody...Thank you. I will share this. I really don't like to get really mushy with him about this but maybe the time has come. i just don't want to make him cry, but this is our reality and I do want him to know I do believe I will see him again after he leaves and that I am already missing who is was before he became so ill. I plan on seeing him next week when he gets released from the hospital and they are letting him stay home with a hospice nurse. thanks again! IP: Logged |
sinderlou
Knowflake Posts: 579
From:
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 12, 2007 03:52 PM
Mystic Melody.......I want you to know that I truly sympathize with you about your aunt with breast cancer. My best friend has had her breast cancer return after getting rid of it 5 years ago. She is going through chemo right now and I just wish her the best everyday and to my best to cheer her up. Her attitude is great and I believe she will make it. IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Knowflake Posts: 2403
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted September 12, 2007 10:26 PM
Sinderlou, thanks to our correspondence, I just had the most beautiful day with my aunt. I mean really deep and THERE and AWARE and just so perfect. I just started by mentioning casually that I was just thinking that she is one of the only people in my life who have ever just loved me and accepted me JUST THE WAY I AM. This brought us close enough to really connect over lunch and then when we got back to her place someone had sent her a box and it ended up having a hair scarf thing that chemo patients wear when they lose their hair, and earrings to match it. She was sort of looking at it like she hated it so was I, so I said, "I thought she was just your business contact, is she a friend?" and she said that she worked at the hospital (where my aunt works) etc and they are sort of friends, and I said, "OH, okay, it is just a friend gift then, that's good" and she perked up and said, Yeah, that was actually really nice of her, its always nice to get gifts... and then I just brought up that I wondered how she was doing and she said she didn't even feel sick and her eyes told me that she meant she couldn't believe she really was dying, and I said that I know the body can heal itself and of course we should send it positive energy etc to heal (my aunt doesn't fully know about this stuff so I talked a while and she was receptive... I prayed a lot on the way there and each time I went into the bathroom at her house)
and that I just wanted to let her know that even though I have no worries about HER, because she is such a good soul and so giving to others etc, for myself, just thinking that I might never hear her voice again etc was just and then every time I tried to say "too much to bear" or "painful" or "so sad" or whatever, I would stop to choose the appropriate words and then tears would come.
Anyway, I am sick of typing all of this, and I know I am just running on and on
but I wanted you to know how completely amazing and wonderful it all was and how special. And our fortune cookies at lunch were magical too, and she knew it. It was just the best time we ever had together and there is just so much more to tell...
but I'm sure you understand.
Please have those times with your brother.
Much love,
Melody
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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake Posts: 5017
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted September 12, 2007 10:27 PM
I agree.You are a poet. And a gorgeous soul. You are so very welcome,
and we are so very thankful for your sincerity
and for the love that shines through your every word. You will get through this,
and it will make sense someday.
I honestly believe that. Much love to you and yours.
hsc IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake Posts: 5017
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted September 12, 2007 10:27 PM
Hi, Mel!  IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake Posts: 5017
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted September 12, 2007 10:33 PM
That's a lovely story.I'm sending love to your aunt.  IP: Logged |
sinderlou
Knowflake Posts: 579
From:
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 13, 2007 07:34 AM
I don't know much, but i do know this much, that everything happens for a reason. There is a reason we all connect here on a site like this, though so small in the big scheme of things, it means so much when someone is in a time of need or suffering in some way. I keep a lot inside and I definitely will share myself with my brother as you have done Mystic Melody with your wonderful aunt. He is a loner type and has been all his life and now more than anytime I want him to know he is not alone.I will be here to talk to about your aunt Mystic Melody. Anytime  I don't care how many paragraphs you write. Thanks all who are such an encouragement on this thread! IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Knowflake Posts: 2403
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted September 13, 2007 09:47 PM
Yes, for a reason, I'm having a hard time with that one today... just the usual brief moments of arrrrrrg (not as in pirate, but as in frustration). I hope you do that song and then you get a MySpace and THEN you put it on there and THEN start a MySpace store so I can buy the song for 98 cents or whatever and then I can eventually send it to my aunt. IP: Logged |
sinderlou
Knowflake Posts: 579
From:
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 14, 2007 07:58 AM
I just printed out the poem I wrote on here Mystic. I am going to give it to the guys in my band to look at and see what we come up with musically. Tell me about your aunt. So she is a crazy pisces lady like me huh? IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Knowflake Posts: 2403
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted September 14, 2007 11:06 AM
Oh, you are a Pisces too My aunt hmmm I don't know if I can give the words to do her justice without throwing me into an emotional storm for the rest of this day, so I will be very brief. She was more a mother to me in the moments we did spend together than my own mother ever even attempted to be. Right now I am thinking about last fall when I was in the hospital and out of my mind and she washed me with a washcloth instead of having the nurse do it.
That is a Pisces for you.
Hippichick is a Pisces and she works in a hospital too. I am afraid to touch people. My aunt was also there to visit me every day in the beginning when I was scared and didn't know where I was or partially even WHO I was... but maybe more WHEN I was...
And she called me all of the time to check on me. Every day, even after I went home and was taking care of my daughter.
Its weird that I describe HER by what she does for others, especially me. That's what I'm talking about with her. Nurturing and wise about human emotions. Perceptive. I don't know, I can't think about this right now! I want to go to the gym, I am just here waiting on a package from UPS but I am going to call them and see when the delivery person might arrive! EEEEEEEEk EMOTIONS!!!!!! RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
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lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 2594
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 14, 2007 03:48 PM
IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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