Author
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Topic: Save Me
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sinderlou Knowflake Posts: 971 From: Registered: Jan 2007
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posted January 10, 2008 11:51 AM
Save Me Save me Now From the Hollow Inside From the pain That pursues Me Nowhere to Hide From clouds That chase The sun away Leaving a dank Cold chill In its place A fear in Pending Save me From the Quivering In my heart Never ending And my spirit That will be Shaken once Again For the loss Of brother A loss Of a friend Save me From The thoughts That will Besiege me Daily And nightly And the Bitter tears that will Greet me In the days That will Follow your Passing And oh The sorrow Will weigh Heavy I am never Prepared For these Kinds of endings When you Are gone The sore Will be Revealed Like a howling Wolfs song That will Cry to be Healed And into the Universe You will fly Oh Save me From the Day I will Tell you Goodbye
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dafremen Knowflake Posts: 1536 From: Registered: Nov 2002
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posted January 10, 2008 12:05 PM
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NosiS Moderator Posts: 602 From: ) Registered: Apr 2004
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posted January 10, 2008 01:07 PM
Beautiful. IP: Logged |
MysticMelody Knowflake Posts: 3169 From: Registered: Dec 2005
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posted January 10, 2008 02:15 PM
That tears at my heart and brings tears to my eyes. I can't even hold the thought of losing my brother in my mind without feeling a deep sense of grief. I can't even imagine how you must feel. Is he still ok to talk with you? My Pisces aunt appears to be herself only deeper than ever. When your sharing inspired me to have that talk with her it sent a ripple effect through my family and I see more being expressed and healed. I know it is no consolation, but your brother is probably bringing life and beauty to other things in his passing as well. And his core is eternally connected to you and you have had the chance to reinforce the bond that helps you feel him. What a beautiful blessing. Your heart is beautiful and I have no doubt that your brother's is as well.IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross Knowflake Posts: 6329 From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA Registered: Aug 2004
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posted January 10, 2008 02:39 PM
Beautiful. IP: Logged |
Lialei Knowflake Posts: 1875 From: blank canvas Registered: Jul 2005
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posted January 10, 2008 04:46 PM
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26taurus Knowflake Posts: 12843 From: * Registered: Jun 2004
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posted January 10, 2008 11:51 PM
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dafremen Knowflake Posts: 1536 From: Registered: Nov 2002
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posted January 11, 2008 03:35 PM
Is that God wearing a tank top and blue jeans? I'm surprised he let someone get a picture of it. Casual day is usually a "no photo opp" day.IP: Logged |
Lialei Knowflake Posts: 1875 From: blank canvas Registered: Jul 2005
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posted January 12, 2008 04:43 AM
I thought maybe sinderlou might see him as her brother. always present, welcoming with his love.IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross Knowflake Posts: 6329 From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA Registered: Aug 2004
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posted January 13, 2008 05:08 PM
Very pretty and thoughtful, Lia. daf,
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sinderlou Knowflake Posts: 971 From: Registered: Jan 2007
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posted January 14, 2008 10:24 AM
Your thoughts and sympathy are so appreciated. I think you all know as well as I that it is good to let your thoughts and feelings out to purge your soul in a way when some things are just too heavy. I hope you all know that if you are going through anything like I am experiencing with the loss of my brother, who is truly a good soul, that I will lend an ear. Lia The photo is beautiful and I did think of of him when i saw it. Thank you for taking the time to send it. IP: Logged |
MysticMelody Knowflake Posts: 3169 From: Registered: Dec 2005
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posted February 10, 2008 07:21 PM
"And into the Universe You will fly"
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sinderlou Knowflake Posts: 971 From: Registered: Jan 2007
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posted February 11, 2008 08:14 AM
MM you are so thoughtful. thank you.IP: Logged |
MysticMelody Knowflake Posts: 3169 From: Registered: Dec 2005
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posted February 11, 2008 10:31 AM
I'm just fumbling around here. You seem so calm. Are you ok? I mean, do you need to talk?IP: Logged |
sinderlou Knowflake Posts: 971 From: Registered: Jan 2007
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posted February 11, 2008 01:05 PM
MM Honestly, I feel like I am still in shock over this. I guess it will really sink in at the funeral tomorrow. not looking forward to it. i can't stand seeing people laying in a casket with makeup all over them. It is just very surreal.I lost both my parents so i will be able to handle this too. I was just thinking how weird it is that the significant closet relatives have all passed away on holidays or been buried on one. My dad was just buried 2 yrs ago on Sept 11. My mom went into a coma on my b-day and died on palm sunday. now my brother is being buried on valentines day. weird.IP: Logged |
MysticMelody Knowflake Posts: 3169 From: Registered: Dec 2005
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posted February 11, 2008 02:45 PM
I was thinking it was so sad and tragic that you had lost both parents already and were now losing a brother but I didn't know if I should bring it up. On holidays too? Yes, the make up and stuff. I don't like that either. One of my old friends had an accident and they must have had to reconstruct some and I can't get the image of the funeral him out of my mind though my vision of the vibrant him is sort of dreamy now. It makes me sad when I think of it. I'm sure you have a really strong image of your brother in your mind, so only take the tiniest peek at the make-up version. He will probably just look like he is sleeping since there has been no accident with his features.I'm sure you are in shock. But maybe there is some peace over his passing. He is probably with you to some degree and you are experiencing his peace. When he drifts away to his new adventures you will probably feel the loss of his nearness the strongest. But you will feel him again. Again and again in the future. Just keep talking to him and telling him you love him (I'm sure you do) and tell him to do what he is meant to do and you will be back together in some form, some day. I know you say that he fought to live, but did he have any comfort at all in the journey ahead? IP: Logged |
sinderlou Knowflake Posts: 971 From: Registered: Jan 2007
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posted February 11, 2008 02:53 PM
MM- he asn't sure about afterlife or anything. He had some fear though but mainly he was sad because he felt like he was not ready and it was not his time. he was mad and sad alot of the time but still kept his sense of humor in the end which amazed me.IP: Logged |
MysticMelody Knowflake Posts: 3169 From: Registered: Dec 2005
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posted February 11, 2008 05:00 PM
Understandable. He sounds very warm.Sinderlou, I don't want to ask anything you aren't ready to talk about or not in the mood to think about, but I do want you to feel as if you can talk about anything you want. I am listening and I'm sure others are as well. Just know you can say anything and don't worry about your mood. Grief is filled with different emotions. Feel free to let it out in this space, when anything comes up. The LindaLand family was an amazing help to me a couple times in my life when I really needed it. I know we aren't technical family, but we are here. People will probably start showing up with "casseroles" and bits of loving cheer tomorrow. Is there anything you want to share about your brother? Did you ever say his sun sign or anything? What did he love?
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sinderlou Knowflake Posts: 971 From: Registered: Jan 2007
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posted February 12, 2008 10:39 PM
hello mm. i made it through the funeral. one more day then we are having the burial on valentines day. i bought him a great big heart flower arrangement trimmed in pink carnations. its so beautiful.something amazing happened in the funeral parlor that i do want to share.... i was standing with my sister and 4 people that had worked with my brother for many years of whom we had just met. we were the only group in the room. my sister began talking about my brother and saying that she wanted to state something about someone he worked with who wasn't really that nice of a person. she then paused and said "well, maybe i really shouldn't say this," realizing that it might not be a good idea to reveal something negative that my brother knew about a worker and just as she said that all of us heard someone clear their throat with a a big sounding "a-hem!" like what you hear when you want someone to be quiet about something. we all stood there in amazement because there was NO ONE around ANYWHERE. We all freaked out and asked each other "did you hear that?". One of the guys sat down in a chair and quietly said, "your brother does not want us to know what you were going to say." We all know he was there. All of us heard it as clear as a bell. MM I will never forget this. IP: Logged |
26taurus Knowflake Posts: 12843 From: * Registered: Jun 2004
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posted February 13, 2008 02:45 AM
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MysticMelody Knowflake Posts: 3169 From: Registered: Dec 2005
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posted February 13, 2008 09:54 AM
Did you talk to him after? (your brother, not the guy who sat) Isn't it nice to meet all of those people who knew him too? I bet he would have loved to say more, that must have been the only thing intense enough to come through for everyone. It is wonderful that your sister was there. Now you both can share that and remember it forever. May you be filled with peace and love today and tomorrow. I think your brother will stick around for the funeral too so you and sis should talk to him and let him know you will be ok and he can move on to God and his next adventure. Give him a worthy send off!! God bless you.IP: Logged |
sinderlou Knowflake Posts: 971 From: Registered: Jan 2007
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posted February 14, 2008 04:12 PM
Hi MM.....I didn;t talk to him after but to be honest with you it was enough for me to believe he was around and i just thanked him for giving me a sign for everyone to witness so i didn't think I was crazy.I know he was there as well as my sister and the others in the room and it makes me smile everytime i think of it. It eased my mind so much. I really want to thank you MM for your great empathy. You are a sweet and thoughtful person for being here to speak to at a time like this. It will never be forgotten IP: Logged |
MysticMelody Knowflake Posts: 3169 From: Registered: Dec 2005
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posted February 14, 2008 05:00 PM
I'm really glad you got to experience your brother's spirit. Keep talking to him in quiet moments and sending your thoughts so he can transition with the most peace in this new experience. Send him all the love you need to give. As for your warm words... It takes a really deep and sensitive person to reach into themselves and give to others at a time in their life that they might not have as much to give. You are a beautiful person and I know this experience will only intensify your deep experience of life and of art. I hope if you have a website for your music you will share it with me someday. I think I might really like it. Thank you for adding meaning and depth to my day. IP: Logged |