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Author Topic:   Save Me
sinderlou
Knowflake

Posts: 971
From:
Registered: Jan 2007

posted January 10, 2008 11:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sinderlou     Edit/Delete Message
Save Me

Save me
Now
From the
Hollow
Inside
From the pain
That pursues
Me
Nowhere to
Hide
From clouds
That chase
The sun away
Leaving a dank
Cold chill
In its place
A fear in
Pending
Save me
From the
Quivering
In my heart
Never ending
And my spirit
That will be
Shaken once
Again
For the loss
Of brother
A loss
Of a friend
Save me
From
The thoughts
That will
Besiege me
Daily
And nightly
And the
Bitter tears
that will
Greet me
In the days
That will
Follow your
Passing
And oh
The sorrow
Will weigh
Heavy
I am never
Prepared
For these
Kinds of endings
When you
Are gone
The sore
Will be
Revealed
Like a howling
Wolfs song
That will
Cry to be
Healed
And into the
Universe
You will fly
Oh
Save me
From the
Day I will
Tell you
Goodbye



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dafremen
Knowflake

Posts: 1536
From:
Registered: Nov 2002

posted January 10, 2008 12:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dafremen     Edit/Delete Message

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NosiS
Moderator

Posts: 602
From: )
Registered: Apr 2004

posted January 10, 2008 01:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NosiS     Edit/Delete Message
Beautiful.

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 3169
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted January 10, 2008 02:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
That tears at my heart and brings tears to my eyes. I can't even hold the thought of losing my brother in my mind without feeling a deep sense of grief. I can't even imagine how you must feel. Is he still ok to talk with you? My Pisces aunt appears to be herself only deeper than ever. When your sharing inspired me to have that talk with her it sent a ripple effect through my family and I see more being expressed and healed. I know it is no consolation, but your brother is probably bringing life and beauty to other things in his passing as well. And his core is eternally connected to you and you have had the chance to reinforce the bond that helps you feel him. What a beautiful blessing. Your heart is beautiful and I have no doubt that your brother's is as well.

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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 6329
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted January 10, 2008 02:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
Beautiful.

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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 1875
From: blank canvas
Registered: Jul 2005

posted January 10, 2008 04:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message

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26taurus
Knowflake

Posts: 12843
From: *
Registered: Jun 2004

posted January 10, 2008 11:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message

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dafremen
Knowflake

Posts: 1536
From:
Registered: Nov 2002

posted January 11, 2008 03:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dafremen     Edit/Delete Message
Is that God wearing a tank top and blue jeans? I'm surprised he let someone get a picture of it.
Casual day is usually a "no photo opp" day.

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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 1875
From: blank canvas
Registered: Jul 2005

posted January 12, 2008 04:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
I thought maybe sinderlou
might see him
as her brother.
always present,
welcoming with his love.

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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake

Posts: 6329
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004

posted January 13, 2008 05:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
Very pretty and thoughtful, Lia.


daf,

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sinderlou
Knowflake

Posts: 971
From:
Registered: Jan 2007

posted January 14, 2008 10:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sinderlou     Edit/Delete Message
Your thoughts and sympathy are so appreciated. I think you all know as well as I that it is good to let your thoughts and feelings out to purge your soul in a way when some things are just too heavy.

I hope you all know that if you are going through anything like I am experiencing with the loss of my brother, who is truly a good soul, that I will lend an ear.

Lia The photo is beautiful and I did think of of him when i saw it. Thank you for taking the time to send it.

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 3169
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted February 10, 2008 07:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message

"And into the
Universe
You will fly"

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sinderlou
Knowflake

Posts: 971
From:
Registered: Jan 2007

posted February 11, 2008 08:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sinderlou     Edit/Delete Message
MM you are so thoughtful. thank you.

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 3169
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted February 11, 2008 10:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
I'm just fumbling around here. You seem so calm. Are you ok? I mean, do you need to talk?

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sinderlou
Knowflake

Posts: 971
From:
Registered: Jan 2007

posted February 11, 2008 01:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sinderlou     Edit/Delete Message
MM Honestly, I feel like I am still in shock over this. I guess it will really sink in at the funeral tomorrow. not looking forward to it. i can't stand seeing people laying in a casket with makeup all over them. It is just very surreal.I lost both my parents so i will be able to handle this too. I was just thinking how weird it is that the significant closet relatives have all passed away on holidays or been buried on one. My dad was just buried 2 yrs ago on Sept 11. My mom went into a coma on my b-day and died on palm sunday. now my brother is being buried on valentines day. weird.

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 3169
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted February 11, 2008 02:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
I was thinking it was so sad and tragic that you had lost both parents already and were now losing a brother but I didn't know if I should bring it up. On holidays too?
Yes, the make up and stuff. I don't like that either. One of my old friends had an accident and they must have had to reconstruct some and I can't get the image of the funeral him out of my mind though my vision of the vibrant him is sort of dreamy now. It makes me sad when I think of it. I'm sure you have a really strong image of your brother in your mind, so only take the tiniest peek at the make-up version. He will probably just look like he is sleeping since there has been no accident with his features.

I'm sure you are in shock. But maybe there is some peace over his passing. He is probably with you to some degree and you are experiencing his peace. When he drifts away to his new adventures you will probably feel the loss of his nearness the strongest. But you will feel him again. Again and again in the future. Just keep talking to him and telling him you love him (I'm sure you do) and tell him to do what he is meant to do and you will be back together in some form, some day.
I know you say that he fought to live, but did he have any comfort at all in the journey ahead?

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sinderlou
Knowflake

Posts: 971
From:
Registered: Jan 2007

posted February 11, 2008 02:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sinderlou     Edit/Delete Message
MM- he asn't sure about afterlife or anything. He had some fear though but mainly he was sad because he felt like he was not ready and it was not his time. he was mad and sad alot of the time but still kept his sense of humor in the end which amazed me.

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 3169
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted February 11, 2008 05:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Understandable. He sounds very warm.

Sinderlou, I don't want to ask anything you aren't ready to talk about or not in the mood to think about, but I do want you to feel as if you can talk about anything you want. I am listening and I'm sure others are as well. Just know you can say anything and don't worry about your mood. Grief is filled with different emotions. Feel free to let it out in this space, when anything comes up. The LindaLand family was an amazing help to me a couple times in my life when I really needed it. I know we aren't technical family, but we are here. People will probably start showing up with "casseroles" and bits of loving cheer tomorrow.

Is there anything you want to share about your brother? Did you ever say his sun sign or anything? What did he love?

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sinderlou
Knowflake

Posts: 971
From:
Registered: Jan 2007

posted February 12, 2008 10:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sinderlou     Edit/Delete Message
hello mm. i made it through the funeral. one more day then we are having the burial on valentines day. i bought him a great big heart flower arrangement trimmed in pink carnations. its so beautiful.

something amazing happened in the funeral parlor that i do want to share....

i was standing with my sister and 4 people that had worked with my brother for many years of whom we had just met. we were the only group in the room. my sister began talking about my brother and saying that she wanted to state something about someone he worked with who wasn't really that nice of a person. she then paused and said "well, maybe i really shouldn't say this," realizing that it might not be a good idea to reveal something negative that my brother knew about a worker and just as she said that all of us heard someone clear their throat with a a big sounding "a-hem!" like what you hear when you want someone to be quiet about something. we all stood there in amazement because there was NO ONE around ANYWHERE. We all freaked out and asked each other "did you hear that?". One of the guys sat down in a chair and quietly said, "your brother does not want us to know what you were going to say."

We all know he was there. All of us heard it as clear as a bell. MM I will never forget this.

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26taurus
Knowflake

Posts: 12843
From: *
Registered: Jun 2004

posted February 13, 2008 02:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 3169
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted February 13, 2008 09:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Did you talk to him after? (your brother, not the guy who sat) Isn't it nice to meet all of those people who knew him too? I bet he would have loved to say more, that must have been the only thing intense enough to come through for everyone. It is wonderful that your sister was there. Now you both can share that and remember it forever.
May you be filled with peace and love today and tomorrow. I think your brother will stick around for the funeral too so you and sis should talk to him and let him know you will be ok and he can move on to God and his next adventure. Give him a worthy send off!!
God bless you.

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sinderlou
Knowflake

Posts: 971
From:
Registered: Jan 2007

posted February 14, 2008 04:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sinderlou     Edit/Delete Message
Hi MM.....I didn;t talk to him after but to be honest with you it was enough for me to believe he was around and i just thanked him for giving me a sign for everyone to witness so i didn't think I was crazy.I know he was there as well as my sister and the others in the room and it makes me smile everytime i think of it. It eased my mind so much. I really want to thank you MM for your great empathy. You are a sweet and thoughtful person for being here to speak to at a time like this. It will never be forgotten

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MysticMelody
Knowflake

Posts: 3169
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted February 14, 2008 05:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
I'm really glad you got to experience your brother's spirit. Keep talking to him in quiet moments and sending your thoughts so he can transition with the most peace in this new experience. Send him all the love you need to give.
As for your warm words...
It takes a really deep and sensitive person to reach into themselves and give to others at a time in their life that they might not have as much to give. You are a beautiful person and I know this experience will only intensify your deep experience of life and of art. I hope if you have a website for your music you will share it with me someday. I think I might really like it. Thank you for adding meaning and depth to my day.

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