posted February 23, 2008 11:02 AM
quote:
what caused me to make that statement, my purpose in doing so, was your demand that i take note of my evil wrongdoings, and say so. i did so with my sincere statement that i had, and that i have much to learn from those kind souls more gentle than myself.
I will accept that, tentatively.
I cant help feeling like its a partial admission.
How can you say that with sincerity,
and then go on to tell us that
"an insult is an insult"?
Its not about never saying an unflattering word.
Its about saying what you have to say,
when you have to say it, without being cruel.
You can say things in the sweetest way,
and with the noblest of intentions,
but, if the person listening is paranoid,
at least, for the moment, -- then,
they will find insults in your words, regardless.
The best we can do is try to say things in the kindest way.
Saying things kindly is as important as saying kind things,
especially when you have something unflattering to say.
If you are determined to speak your mind,
the very least you can do is say it
without searching your copy of "Sin City" for adjectives.
You know what I'm saying, Z.
We dont have to keep going over this, do we?
quote:
i revised my statement to add the disclaimer, as it occurs to me that insulting others here in the disguise of kind words or underhanded innuendo is quite common here, and not something that i admire in the least. to differentiate, you see. it really was a very general statement, with no hidden meaning whatsoever to this particular situation.
I believe you.
Thank you for taking the time to make that clear.
My own take on those "innuendos" is complex.
I think people seem insincere and cunning,
when they are merely ambivalent,
struggling to express what's best in themselves,
in spite of all the rest.
Moreover, as you have quoted me elsewhere,
it is a matter of expressing nuances,
and a variety of points of view.
We are mistaken if we assume that people
are always so sure of what they think and feel,
and that they have managed to bring their thoughts and feelings
into perfect harmony and perfect accordance,
before clicking on "submit reply".
Often, people are still trying to figure it out,
even if some of their words appear conclusive.
We should not assume that the conclusive words are true,
while all the rest is an attempt at dissimulation, or vice-versa.
More than likely,
they decieve themselves that they have arrived
at a conclusion, while the majority of their words
indicates a divided mind, heart, intention, and will.
I do know what you mean, Zanya,
but I think it is very difficult to tell
when someone is making a concerted effort
to bait you and imply some of the most hurtful things,
and when they are merely expressing a variety of things,
from a variety of levels of consciousness.
It may be that the difference has more to do
with ourselves, and with what we choose to see.
Lindaland
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posted February 23, 2008 11:01 AM
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