posted December 04, 2008 09:47 AM              

An armegeddon or plague type sense encompass those words...

Am I even close?

I read it thinking Oh goody a nice tinkly poem about "The Ocean", then when I finished I realized, it was deeper, much so...

Thank you..

posted December 05, 2008 05:50 AM            

well, its a little ambiguous,
but, the idea is I'm looking at the ocean,
and seeing these metaphors...

the waters range and heave
like armies range and heave

the ripples catch the sun
like steepled helmets
in rows

the waves break,
like soldiers breaking ranks

sunlight flashes all over the breaking waves,
like swords flashing in the sun...

reflected light seems to scatter and fizzle out,
as the wave smooths out and moves on;
like pieces of the sun, cleaved,
and scattered into dying fires of life --
kind of like fires left by pillagers and arsonists in times of war,
but also, like body parts, scattered by the blows,
left bleeding, with the life draining out of them.

the birds appear to be on fire,
because the sun shines bright on their backs

they crash like planes into the ocean
and rise again,

and the water they shake off also catches the sun,
and looks like a rain of sparks

the clouds just dissolve over time,
but i see them as "burning down"
and sinking into the sky,
like ships on the water.

So, yeah, I dont know if all of that comes through for the reader.
I feel like i just explained a joke,
and jokes shouldn't need explainations,
and, really, cannot be explained
(though we can see the humor when its shown to us),
but, this poem certainly seems to need one, lol. My bad.
Still, I like it, even if I'm the only one it was written for.

Yes, you can see it all as very apocalyptic...

For me, there is something about the contrast
of these typically peaceful scenes and watery/airy images
becoming metaphors for war and fire, etc.

Its like, we just adjust our perception,
and the most unassuming scene becomes epic;
the soft lights on the water suddenly become fierce.

And there is this feeling, at least, for me,
that all of this fire and bloodshed is natural,
and really quite peaceful, in its own way.
Because the war is not just a metaphor for the ocean,
but the peaceful ocean can be a metaphor for war,
as seen from the most detached perspective.

It makes me think of Schopenhauer's theories on beauty.
He says there are two ways in which we find things beautiful.
The first way is when we desire something...
the sense of beauty is mixed with this aggressive impulse,
which wants to chase, conquer, capture, and claim as its own.
But the second form is experienced in complete detachment.
So, in my poem, i see the beauty of war,
as viewed through a lense of detachment.
The ocean is a great image of detachment for me.
It just sits there, objectively. Too vast to care.

Thanks for reading.

posted December 05, 2008 08:58 AM              

Can I ask why you see it as a joke? I don't understand...

That's an interesting thought, the ocean is a sense of detachment for you..I sat here and thought about that for a moment...

My sense of detachment is the desert, the ocean I find scary, and forboding. I have wrote poems with the desert in mind...I think of lizard like creatures, the cacti, and the scattered thirsty flowers...

The only way to survive is through adaptation...

Thanks for the interpretation of the poem..

posted December 05, 2008 02:58 PM            

When a joke needs to be explained, it sort of loses the point.
Same thing with a poem. It should speak for itself.
But I dont know if the problem is in the poem/joke,
in my "delivery", in the "sense of humor" of my reader,
or if its just a matter of personal taste.

Yeah, the desert works for me, too.

posted December 09, 2008 04:51 AM            

But that's just how I see it.

A poem can be many things, to many people.

"Before I explain my book to others, I expect them to explain it to me. To claim to explain it first is to immediately narrow down its reach; for if we know what we intended to say, we do not know whether we said only that. - One always says more than THAT. - And what interests me most is what I put in without knowing, - that unconscious share, which I would like to call God's share."

posted December 22, 2008 11:36 PM            

I only perceive this poem as the creative and spiritual descriptions and metaphors of the elements of fire and water, and I like the verses, that's that.

To me, the ocean is blood, and the animals swimming in it are creatures of death- lives of death. But that's just me.