posted April 24, 2010 07:02 AM         

When we are born into this world, we fall from the loving oneness of the higher spiritual realm, coupled with the nurturing oneness of the peaceful womb, which maybe, is a symbolic reflection of that other world.

The world we are born into is a world of coldness and of separation.

When we are held in loving arms, this helps us link back in to our true state again. Love is our essence. Loving "oneness" is our true nature.

Love is the essence of who we truly are, and what we experience after that moment when we are born influences the extent of how much we forget.

But we all remember....we all remember somewhere deep down, and whether we realize it or not, we are yearning for it, to feel a part of it once again.

I think, that's why, when we are older....having already experienced many years of this reality....the growing, which is often painful, and school, which often cruel.....when we fall in love with someone it awakens a feeling inside, puts us in touch with something greater and higher....it allows us to feel whole again.

When love fails....when the person who has provided that "oasis" for a time...makes us feel we are no longer special....
it awakens the old wound,
the wound we all felt at some point, after we had been in this world for a length of time.....the feeling of separation and aloneness.
We had sanctuary from this world, for a time, and now we feel abandoned. We feel rejected, and because they rejected us, a feeling of worthlessness approaches us, that terrible shadow, giving us the soul's dark night.

This is why it feels so painful. This is why it hurts us so deeply.

In writing this, I am hoping that anyone who may come by these words, who is hurting, can at least be comforted by the understanding that none of us are alone in these experiences. I know that this is hardly sufficient to ease the pain when you are really missing somebody in particular, but maybe it can at least help a little.

Words cannot lessen the significance of how it feels when we have lost something in our lives as important as a loving bond we shared. We all feel an innate need to love and be loved, which we express in different ways. This is a part of the nature of a human being, and we should be proud of it. It does not make us weak. It makes us special and who we are.

It's all a journey...a learning process.
We learn from those we encounter....and whether what we share with them is for a reason, a season, or a life-time....we may chose to see our time with them as a learning experience, as a gift.

We can chose to not look back in bitterness.
We can chose how it is we want to see things. When I think of it like that...that this choice is all mine...it feels good, because I feel empowered.

Indeed, how we experience life is so dependent of each of our individual points of perspective/ perception. In a way, we all look at the world through our own unique pair of sunglasses, providing our very own "trip", our experience through this density in time and space, on Earth.

We shouldn't base of sense of worth on how another person sees us or feels about us. We need our own sense of self worth; by doing this we can allow ourselves the strength that was already ours but were unable to see.
The way you perceive someone is different to the way someone else perceives that person, and so on and so on. Reality is always dependent upon that perspective. Why do we allow our feelings to be slaves to how other people see us or feel about us? If we do that, we can never be content because how others see us will always be subjective to a limited human perspective. What matters most is how you feel about yourself in your own heart. Our heart should be our guide. Ultimately, we are our own judge, and that is all that will matter the day our point of perception has been lifted upward.

I know that even once we have realized all the things that these finite words have tried to express, we still feel the need for companionship and closeness; no amount of wisdom can change that, but it may help the wait just a little. Also, I have noticed, not every individual feels a need to be in an actual relationship; the basic function of loving and being loved is expressed in life in many different ways....friends, family, taking care of others in need...it all matters. But I'm writing specifically to those who do feel that need, the need for a relationship. Libra might be to blame, but who knows.
I just want to say that I found the love I was searching for, I found it eventually. The wait felt so painful and so long, especially the part of not knowing exactly if it would, how much of what I dreamed of/ felt inside was fantasy and how much of it could become real. But I found it....I found the love I had always sought.

If it can come true for me then it can come true for you too. It is only a question of time, of when....and time is the real pain. So I guess all we can do in the meantime is take each day as it comes, take what we can from the learning phases as we encounter them, allow them to feel easier on us by simply perceiving them differently. I realize, now I look back, the pain of my yearning could have been eased if I could only see things in a less restricted way. There is so much beauty in the world....everywhere....and every part of life is connected.....each and every one of us can tune into this, not only through meditation as we may think of it, but through many forms of meditation.

I don't want to sound all preachy and new-agey, and I certainly don't want to sound as if I am claiming to have a great amount of wisdom! I am not wise. There is much I struggle with in this world....much I cannot cope with. There are many answers I seek to questions I have before I will be able to feel I have risen above certain shadows I live with- questions.

Just wanted to share a few thoughts.