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Author	Topic: Resignation
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 18, 2011 05:15 AM A wise man cares not for what he cannot have. ~George Edward Herbert Welcome death, quoth the rat, when the trap fell. ~Thomas Fuller ~The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. ~Quote by - Henry David Thoreau ~For after all, the best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain. ~ Quote by - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ~“'Tis hard with respect to Beauty, that its possessor should not have a life enjoyment of it, but be compelled to resign it after, at the most, some forty years' lease” ~William Makepeace Thackeray “If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race” ~Fred Allen quotes IP: Logged
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 18, 2011 05:38 AM I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness, for it appears that I may never be invited to the feast. ~LEXX IP: Logged
Mysticknowflake Moderator Posts: 737 From: PA Registered: Mar 2010	posted November 18, 2011 06:00 AM HUGS! LEXX... IP: Logged
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 18, 2011 08:46 AM {{{hugs}}} Mysticknowflake I know, I am all melancholy. I just cannot shake it. Getting old when one has been disabled for nearly 1/4 century already to date really sucks. IP: Logged
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 2312 From: "It's Been Surreal!" Registered: Aug 2010	posted November 18, 2011 09:01 PM quote: Originally posted by LEXX: Welcome death, quoth the rat, when the trap fell. ~Thomas Fuller I know, I am all melancholy. I just cannot shake it. Vice Grip'n.. IP: Logged
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 2312 From: "It's Been Surreal!" Registered: Aug 2010	posted November 18, 2011 09:08 PM Though I think not To think about it, I do think about it And shed tears Thinking about it. -Ryokan My own health is taking another slide. The coaster of degeneration rolls on. Weeeee,We,We,We,Weeeeeeeee! IP: Logged
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 2312 From: "It's Been Surreal!" Registered: Aug 2010	posted November 18, 2011 11:28 PM The universe has it's dirty little tricks. Greats you with open arms that turn into prisons. Smiling face turns into the worst skeletal grin. Then it gives you hope to keep plowing on much like a carrot held out in front of a turtle to trick it into moving. G****n games with no recluse, I idiotically try to get that carrot. Waste. The universe, at times, is much like a brat of a child playing with you, with a sht eating grin on it's face. Taunting. *..If I could manage to kick it in the stomach, I mean drive my foot straight through to the spine!..* I f***g despise you most of the time. -ME I have my quarrels with the system. Angry Disagreement & Forced Acceptance**. IP: Logged
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 18, 2011 11:59 PM Mblake81 I must be going mad...... for your posts made me laugh! Sigh. Getting old sucks when already disabled. And I fraking hate being called a granny! Stops feet wildly. I AM NOT MY FRAKING BODY! NOT MY FAULT THIS IS MY SHELL, MY PRISON! ARRRRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See me me me!!!!!!!!!!! I am not as I appear dammit! My only comfort is; HA HA HA YOU TOO WILL BE OLD SOMEDAY! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INSANE OUTBURST OVER FOR NOW! Thank you Mblake81 ------------------ I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness, for it appears that I may never be invited to the feast. ~LEXX The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. ~Henry David Thoreau IP: Logged
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 19, 2011 12:03 AM I love that NG picture of the woman. A few years later they went back to see her. She looked so lost and aged far beyond her years. It was a very sad story. ------------------ I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness, for it appears that I may never be invited to the feast. ~LEXX The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. ~Henry David Thoreau IP: Logged
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 19, 2011 12:21 AM For myself, the biggest thing I hate about getting old is the inability to bear children. Or the chance to.:'( With my history of over 26 lost pregnancies, I am used to not bearing. However the one time I succeeded, it was so amazing! There is no feeling that can compare to feeling new life growing within one's body. The turns and kicks and psi connection..... that first meeting once born...... priceless! So yes, that is my main sorrow in getting old, that no more chance at experiencing such again.:'( ------------------ I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness, for it appears that I may never be invited to the feast. ~LEXX The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. ~Henry David Thoreau IP: Logged
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 19, 2011 12:38 AM Gods I am pitifully bitter tonight. Stomps feet and screams loudly at the fraking universe! IP: Logged
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 2312 From: "It's Been Surreal!" Registered: Aug 2010	posted November 19, 2011 01:05 AM quote: Originally posted by LEXX: Gods I am pitifully bitter tonight. Stomps feet and screams loudly at the fraking universe! You know, since the uni is my one and only, I relate broken heart songs to it. love songs in general. I have a personal relationship much like people make with their god(s). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3bzXdW-7AQ Adele Rolling in the deep. There's a fire starting in my heart Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark Finally I can see you crystal clear Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your sh*t bare See how I'll leave, with every piece of you Don't underestimate the things that I will do There's a fire starting in my heart Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark The scars of your love remind me of us They keep me thinking that we almost had it all The scars of your love, they leave me breathless I can't help feeling We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You had my heart inside your hand And you played it to the beat Baby, I have no story to be told But I've heard one of you and I'm gonna make your head burn Think of me in the depths of your despair Making a home down there as mine sure won't be shared The scars of your love remind you of us They keep me thinking that we almost had it all The scars of your love, they leave me breathless I can't help feeling We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You had my heart inside your hand And you played it to the beat Could have had it all Rolling in the deep You had my heart inside your hand But you played it with a beating Throw your soul through every open door Count your blessings to find what you look for Turn my sorrow into treasured gold You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow (Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me) We could have had it all (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) We could have had it all (Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me) It all, it all, it all, it all (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) (Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me) We could have had it all (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) Rolling in the deep (Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me) You had my heart and soul (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) And you played it to the beat (Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me) Could have had it all (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) Rolling in the deep (Now I'm gonna wish you never had met me) You had my heart and soul in your hand (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep) But you played it, you played it, you played it to the beat --Cruelty can be described as indifference to suffering, and even positive pleasure in inflicting it. IP: Logged
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 2312 From: "It's Been Surreal!" Registered: Aug 2010	posted November 19, 2011 01:56 AM November 19 @ 1:56 am. Turned thirty years old. Now then, to put the twenties where they belong.. IP: Logged
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 19, 2011 02:50 AM quote: Originally posted by Mblake81: You know, since the uni is my one and only, I relate broken heart songs to it. love songs in general. I have a personal relationship much like people make with their god(s). Whilst I am not vengeful about love that does not/cannot work out........ I would rather be the suffering one than intentionally hurt any one I love. However............ I definitely can relate to much of that song otherwise, and the wonderful but terrible affliction loving often is. Bitter regret for what one did or did not do and by then its too late to fix a damn thing. Sorrow is its companion eventually. There is no escaping those facts. I can also relate to the view you have concerning the relationship with the universe. You just turned 30? How long have you felt such things? PS. Every relationship I have walked away from; they then realized what they had lost, and begged me to stay, cried and begged for one more chance...... One even kept a painting of young me over his bed......his marriage bed to his wife. She came to see me one day some 4 years into their marriage.......and said, what can I do about that painting of you over our bed? I said that is creepy, just remove iy. She said I can't, he would get mad. Seems he was like praying to it in a way. "shudder" I was like at her, omg you poor thing! I said give it to my son. So she did. PPS. Similar things happened with my other exes. Well you know, there is much truth to that song line: "Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone" And the lryics fit some exes. quote: I can't tell ya baby what went wrong I can't make you feel what you felt so long ago I'll let it show I can't give you back what's been hurt Heartaches come and go and all that's left are the words I can't let go If we take some time to think it over baby Take some time, let me know If you really want to go Don't know what you got till it's gone Don't know what it is I did so wrong Now I know what I got It's just this song And it ain't easy to get back Takes so long I can't feel the things that cause you pain I can't clear my heart of your love it falls like rain Ain't the same I hear you calling far away Tearing through my soul I just can't take another day Who's to blame If we take some time to think it over baby Take some time let me know If you really wanna go Don't know what you got till it's gone Don't know what it is I did so wrong Now I know what I got It's just this song And it ain't easy to get back Takes so long Do you wanna see me beggin' baby Can't you give me just one more day Can't you see my heart's been draggin' lately I've been lookin' for the words to say Don't know what you got till it's gone Don't know what it is I did so wrong Now I know what I got It's just this song And it ain't easy to get back Takes so long Don't know what you got till it's gone no Don't know what it is I did so wrong Now I know what I got It's just this song And it ain't easy to get back Takes so long ------------------ I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness, for it appears that I may never be invited to the feast. ~LEXX The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. ~Henry David Thoreau IP: Logged
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 19, 2011 03:07 AM Now to try and sleep again and hope the nightmares do not return. The one I just awoke from before posting previous post; was a nuclear nightmare. And I was all alone. IP: Logged
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 2312 From: "It's Been Surreal!" Registered: Aug 2010	posted November 19, 2011 06:46 AM quote: Originally posted by LEXX: You just turned 30? How long have you felt such things? I don't remember. The cruelty was a reflection of me. You know the uni will act as a mirror. I had/have much cruelty in my heart and it simply shines it back at me. Amazing the trauma the heart, mind, and nervous system will endure. When I scream to the heavens, I am actually screaming at myself. I suppose I was trying to beat it out of me, or something else had the intention. I would *not* give it up any other way. IP: Logged
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 19, 2011 08:49 AM quote: Originally posted by LEXX: You just turned 30? How long have you felt such things? quote: Originally posted by Mblake81: Persecuted for discipline. Hindsight, I don't remember. The cruelty was a reflection of me. You know the uni will act as a mirror. I had/have much cruelty in my heart and it simply shines it back at me. Amazing the trauma the heart, mind, and nervous system will endure. When I scream to the heavens, I am actually screaming at myself. I suppose I was trying to beat it out of me, or something else had the intention. I would *not* give it up any other way. Ahhh I understand even though my such Uni mirror reflects not back cruelty, but a serious martyr complex I have had in many past live going back to perhaps the beginning of my existence. I still have not figured out how to give to myself. Oh sure, I talk a good talk but end result is; I either give up, give in, accept more than my share of compromise, give away without recognition, sacrifice virtually all, refuse to lie even when it is detrimental to myself, take blame for misdeeds of others, it goes on and on, I am a fraking doormat. My happiness is not for me, it is for others. I strive to find ways for others to be happy even when it means I may not share directly or even as all in that happiness. Happiness by proxy, yes, that is too often my lot especially for the bigger issues. Do I feel I deserve good things too? Of course I do. Gods I sound blue blazing nutters. PS. Yes ranting like a madman. A night of nightmares and torments Past lives raging at me...... haven't you learned anything yet? ------------------ I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness, for it appears that I may never be invited to the feast. ~LEXX The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. ~Henry David Thoreau IP: Logged
Mysticknowflake Moderator Posts: 737 From: PA Registered: Mar 2010	posted November 19, 2011 09:10 AM No, you sound like an amazing spirit, who has had way too much disappointment and heartache. You have chosen a very difficult path, which indicates a "Great Spirit"... ♥♥♥ xoxoxox IP: Logged
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 19, 2011 10:33 AM quote: Originally posted by Mysticknowflake: No, you sound like an amazing spirit, who has had way too much disappointment and heartache. You have chosen a very difficult path, which indicates a "Great Spirit"... ♥♥♥ xoxoxox Ahhh dear Mysticknowflake {{{hugs}}} I feel I chose or was given that path in my past lives going back to a very long time ago. Do I feel I deserve good things too? Of course I do. However...... I feel like a pawn of the Universe or Gods. I feel lost, rootless, not part of humanity. I feel like an outsider and I am tired and want to go back to MY home. Crazy demented thoughts run through my mind. Assuming I even have a mind LOL! I think, therefore I am? How can I be sure of that? And what if this is all an illusion? Maybe I really do not exist but am some twisted incomplete character in a holographic game played by gamer gods. There is definitely by that concept, something fuqked up in my program. I keep looping over and over, in every lifetime doing the martyr bit in small or big ways. I am like, delete my program or fix it already dammit! Sigh ------------------ I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness, for it appears that I may never be invited to the feast. ~LEXX The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. ~Henry David Thoreau IP: Logged
Randall Webmaster Posts: 18622 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 24, 2011 09:49 AM Hope you feel better soon. ------------------ "The stars which shone over Babylon and the stable in Bethlehem still shine as brightly over the Empire State Building and your front yard today. They perform their cycles with the same mathematical precision, and they will continue to affect each thing on earth, including man, as long as the earth exists." Linda Goodman IP: Logged
Mysticknowflake Moderator Posts: 737 From: PA Registered: Mar 2010	posted November 25, 2011 08:19 AM Stopping in to give you more{{{{{ HUGS!~~~~~ }}}} IP: Logged
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 2312 From: "It's Been Surreal!" Registered: Aug 2010	posted November 26, 2011 02:26 AM Feel better soon Lexx The view about the universe the I have expressed in this thread is mine alone, my responsiblity. I do not wish to spread this, It most likely is a phase. I was honest as I could be. IP: Logged
Randall Webmaster Posts: 18622 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 27, 2011 11:30 AM I think she knows that. Your opinions are always valid and welcomed. ------------------ "The stars which shone over Babylon and the stable in Bethlehem still shine as brightly over the Empire State Building and your front yard today. They perform their cycles with the same mathematical precision, and they will continue to affect each thing on earth, including man, as long as the earth exists." Linda Goodman IP: Logged
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 2312 From: "It's Been Surreal!" Registered: Aug 2010	posted November 27, 2011 03:28 PM I will admit something I have kept private. Whatever it is that I am aware of, I have no name for it. I sometimes call it the universe. *I have an urge to goad it.* I see it as acting as a mirror that reflects, Well I am trying to reflect that back at it. Fire with Fire if you will. I have these images in my mind of the mirrors breaking when it happens. Two mirrors. IP: Logged
Mysticknowflake Moderator Posts: 737 From: PA Registered: Mar 2010	posted November 28, 2011 12:58 AM heheh Love those pics!~ :-)'s IP: Logged

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