Posts: 509
From: Michigan :)
Registered: Jun 2009

posted June 08, 2012 11:06 AM            

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Why does this creep into my head,

why do I feel so down?

How can this body of mine,

seem so unattractive and foreign?

I just want to enjoy movement,

feel graceful gliding through space,

I only need to be less lumpy,

more toned and smooth but not fake

I hate how my thighs look

I think they are too thick

I'm done with this jiggle at my waist

and it seems impossible to remove

I know I'm not "fat"

but I feel so lost

This unhappiness hurts,

and it shouldn't make me so cross

I only love my eyes,

and maybe my lips

The rest is expendable,

disgusting at best.

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Posts: 56
From:
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posted June 08, 2012 02:47 PM            

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Virgo perfection

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Posts: 509
From: Michigan :)
Registered: Jun 2009

posted June 08, 2012 11:23 PM            

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Posts: 1556
From: 6,000 feet above sea level
Registered: Feb 2010

posted June 09, 2012 09:06 PM            

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Hate that feeling.

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Posts: 509
From: Michigan :)
Registered: Jun 2009

posted June 09, 2012 09:09 PM            

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Thanks, Cancer/Scorpio...I'm glad I am not alone, even when it bites to be in that moment.

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Posts: 78
From:
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posted June 09, 2012 11:18 PM            

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every woman's nightmare

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From: 6,000 feet above sea level
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posted June 11, 2012 01:24 AM            

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Makes me feel below people when insecurity bites me in the butt, horrible. That how it is for you too?

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Posts: 509
From: Michigan :)
Registered: Jun 2009

posted June 11, 2012 09:26 AM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Cancer/Scorpio729:
Makes me feel below people when insecurity bites me in the butt, horrible. That how it is for you too?

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Yes, you hit the nail right on the head, Cancer/Scorpio. I feel inferior to almost everyone I see, in pictures or reality, with their stretch mark-free skin, more perfect eyebrows, toned extremities, visibly defined abs...I allow it to put me in a dark place, where I give up on ever feeling the way I want to...I've put on about 10 lbs in the last 6 months or so, but after going through a car accident (which left me less active for 3-4 weeks afterwards), purchasing our first home, getting married, etc, it just seems like I could chalk it off to the major life changes, but then I feel like I am hiding behind excuses. I have taken up kick-boxing once a week, but stopped doing the yoga I love so much, so then I get down on myself for that too.

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posted June 11, 2012 11:48 AM            

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I am 52 almost 53, left my man of 25 years with my daughter in August to get away from his crazy bi-polar, drunk self and take care of my mom with Alzheimers, in Alabama. :/ Over weight, lonely.......................Such is my life

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Posts: 509
From: Michigan :)
Registered: Jun 2009

posted June 11, 2012 12:43 PM            

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Bluemoonchild

Hugs to you, fellow Knowflake, for doing what is hard. Remember you are always loved...

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From:
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posted June 11, 2012 12:57 PM            

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awe, thanks so much VVA. You made my day!

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Posts: 1556
From: 6,000 feet above sea level
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posted June 11, 2012 01:02 PM            

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I'm sorry VAA
You are a wonderful person with amazing poetry. You can't make comparisons to others with "better" physical appearances, they didn't have a car accident and buy a house and get married...and even if they did they couldn't still do kickboxing after These aren't excuses, they're real reasons.
I'm sorry, I can't offer any kind of real solution to these feelings, I'm still learning how to deal with it myself

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Posts: 1556
From: 6,000 feet above sea level
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posted June 11, 2012 01:03 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Bluemoonchild:
I am 52 almost 53, left my man of 25 years with my daughter in August to get away from his crazy bi-polar, drunk self and take care of my mom with Alzheimers, in Alabama. :/ Over weight, lonely.......................Such is my life

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That is very admirable

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Posts: 509
From: Michigan :)
Registered: Jun 2009

posted June 11, 2012 01:08 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Cancer/Scorpio729:
I'm sorry VAA
You are a wonderful person with amazing poetry. You can't make comparisons to others with "better" physical appearances, they didn't have a car accident and buy a house and get married...and even if they did they couldn't still do kickboxing after These aren't excuses, they're real reasons.
I'm sorry, I can't offer any kind of real solution to these feelings, I'm still learning how to deal with it myself

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Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Cancer/Scorpio Self-compassion is something I am totally working on right now, and it's comforting to hear someone else reaffirm what I know deep down, but don't let myself admit, especially that my reasons are real. You are right, I have bounced back in an amazing way, and I forget that sometimes, heck, most of the time.

We are here for each other as coaches and fellow travelers of this road, to guide, inspire and encourage each other, and I am grateful to have the lovely souls here by my side

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posted June 12, 2012 11:16 AM            

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You're welcome VAA

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From:
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posted June 12, 2012 06:44 PM            

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Thank you Cancer/Scorpio. I am Cancer/Aquarius

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