posted October 01, 2012 11:31 PM            

trying hard not to cry

It feels so pointless

all I've done in fear

right now, to be denied

I cannot find a way to smile

I concede it's not ever to be

I feel so lost, silly, petrified,

why can't I find a way to be me?

You want what you want

Til it feels so out of reach

And you feel you've failed so true

It aches when you thought it was all about timing

and you feel so cold and used

Why do I sit here, bemoaning unfairness,

seeing others gifted with favor so blind?

When did it all become such a gamble,

never sure if the outcome is kind?

Rational words will not fill the hole,

anger just picks at the gaping wound

Where can I find a soothing touch,

when my heart sits here in ruins?

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