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Author
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Topic: The Gadfly
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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake Posts: 205
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted April 17, 2013 09:39 AM
  
I would trouble no man,
Having found his peace,
Lest by another's misery
He has secured that lease;Men thus content
must think it meet
to go their way,
though in deceit, And find in me
A gadfly and a sod
Of little worth or use
though instrument of God; Yea, those who would
This ministry dispel
Would just as soon
Dispense with His gospel. Then, shall I be disturbed
In heart, or nerve, or mind
Ingratitude, neglect, and scorn
In them to find? IP: Logged |
taureau20
Knowflake Posts: 81
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted April 17, 2013 11:08 AM
Bending and twisting all over to make rhyme...too much twisting action in the last stanza, I think... IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake Posts: 205
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted April 17, 2013 12:08 PM
I appreciate the contructive criticism, but bear in mind that you are only voicing your opinion, and tastes differ widely. I'm sure, if I wanted to, I could eviscerate your poems by pointing out everything in them that does not perfectly meet the standards of my personal tastes. Instead, I choose to encourage what is best in them, and not contribute to your insecurity. You might trying sprinkling your critical comments with a recognition of something in the poem that works. It can't be all bad.
IP: Logged |
taureau20
Knowflake Posts: 81
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted April 17, 2013 12:57 PM
Well brother/sister, taking criticism is an essential ability of any writer. I really do believe that it is the only way to grow. I would dearly love it if you were to criticize my writings. If you could perform an autopsy and tell me something I don't know, nothing would please me more. I am not lying...I only said what I thought was most important about the poem (per me of course), yeah there are of course a lot of things going good in the poem - but there are always the minutest of things that are prickly and which are the difference between great and good...don't you think? And if those aren't pointed out, then those will remain not pointed out. Yeah, I love my poems too - but when they aren't good, I know they aren't good... But they can never be bad because they are mothers to poems more beautiful than themselves that are yet to come. And that is what has always given me hope... IP: Logged |
taureau20
Knowflake Posts: 81
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted April 17, 2013 01:02 PM
And come on now, who are we kidding - it is all a game of words and we know it - despite all the emotion and "soul" and love or anything in the poem, it has always been a heartless game of words to the poet. And that is what I was commenting on - casually may be - to a throw of your dice....IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake Posts: 205
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted April 17, 2013 04:06 PM
If it's a game to you, you've lost it.  IP: Logged |
taureau20
Knowflake Posts: 81
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted April 17, 2013 04:13 PM
Oh that's very well said - but it is not just a game of course its not. Its more than life and death itself - but isn't even that a game? Here's something I wrote long, long ago - Game Must I say a word
And you tell me
What it means
Must we babble
Or rather
Must we play scrabble Must we, or play
Hide and seek?
_____
Like it?  IP: Logged |
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