posted September 23, 2013 03:38 PM            

No sense of self,
which face should I wear today?
Should I pick it off a shelf?

Who do you want to see?
What would you like me to be?
I'll be anything you want just as long as you'll love me.

Do I look beautiful in black?
Is that what you'd like to see?
I don't know what I want I've never had that.

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed,
I just don't know what to do.
So I sit on my knees and look up at you,

Except it always seems it's a new you every week.
I know you'll go and say something mean,
I'll break down again and you'll say I'm causing a scene.

It's not something I can help,
it's the way that I feel.
I can't tell the difference between what's fake and what's real.

Why won't you love me when I say you're the best?
You'll only love me and leave me like all of the rest.
No don't try to explain, I like when you're silent the best.

I want to be close to you,
only just at arm's length.
I know I'm just avoiding what'll come in the end.

When I'm feeling brave I step into the world,
I put my brave face on, put my brave smile on.
I tip toe round every corner like my sanity is gone.

I slip into my office and triple lock the door.
I don't think I can stand to be here any more.
As I sit in the corner rocking and do my best to ignore.

You ask how I function and I say x is 3y
You say that's not what you meant,
but I don't understand why.

I don't know why I'm here I don't know what I want.
I feel like I'm just wandering through life all alone and so lost.
I've tried again and again to pay the highest cost.

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed,
I just don't know what to do.
So I sit on my knees, crying, looking up at you.
Please, won't you tell me, what it is I should do?

Thank you for reading as always.

Have a great day.

- Chris

Copyright 23/09/2013 20:37

posted September 23, 2013 09:39 PM            

Thank you for being so Brave, and for sharing your most-vulnerable aspects of Self with us....

You are a Dedicated and real Soul. I think of you Highly... and "You" are sooo much MORE than you think!