posted October 01, 2014 05:52 PM            

I'm probably going to visit this forum more often from now on.

I don't think I'm that good of a writer, but I guess I just need an outlet for my angular Moon/Neptune/Pluto and other water crap in my chart. I'm just a random teen from Europe, so don't expect very much from me lol

Anyway, I wrote these by thinking my friend and how she felt.

I don't know what to name these. These are for her, though.

I like to call this below one 'Trauma'
-----------------------------

The flow of time is neverending
It won't stop
It will always keep moving
However,
Around you it froze long time ago

While other people are moving on
You're still trapped in the cage of Past
That left deep wounds on you
They haven't still healed
And continue to bleed
Until this day...

--------------------------

Drowning in the Sea of Darkness
Slowly sinking under surface
Starting to lose your breath
Vision is getting blurry
Without resisting
You're
Disappearing
In the depths

-------------------------

I got inspiration to write this today, so this is the newest one.

Lost child wandering
Trying to climb those mountains
To see the sky and sunlight again

She tried hard
But hurt herself and fell
Tried again
And again
And again...

She got tired of trying
So she created her own little world
Of roses and dreams
An illusion that
Would fade soon away

She is alive, breathing
But her Soul and Heart
Are blooming
With emptiness

So she
Chose to cut her Thread of Life
By herself

I'm naively hoping
That someday
In a different place and time
I'll meet her again
And see joy
On the face of hers

-----------------------------

posted October 01, 2014 09:21 PM            

Your writing touched me powerfully. Very chilling to read poetry that uses almost the same wording as some of my own from the distant past.

Losses can produce acute pains that shock us (whether expected or not) into frozen states of mind that can leave us feeling so starkly and uniquely-privately alone. If we are unaccompanied on that journey through grief, it can become our prison. After a time, when it's released and shared, we may find that we add to a unique experience written in a unison universal tome.

It's hard to lose a Dear Friend.... So sorry that you lost her.

Water-crap?... Oh, now you make me gently laugh. Yeah, I've got a lot of *ahem* that in my chart too!

Water that has had life-crap in it must be processed and treated. Needs to be aerated, where it can be salvaged and put to new use.

Words (and your poetry) are tools, that can become your virtual "paddle."

keep talking, keep talking

posted October 02, 2014 12:10 PM            

Welcome to Yellow Wax and the Ants, hope you share more of your poems.

posted October 02, 2014 04:56 PM            

I got anxious after sharing this, so when I saw that some had replied to this thread I kinda reacted like this hedgehog and and avoided it for a while.

@mirage

That was probably the first thing that came to my mind when I saw my chart for first time in June 2012. I was 12 years old.

So much water crap. So much boring crap.

I hated it back then. I had really low self-esteem.
It took long time to realize that 'Hey, it's not bad at all.'

I don't mind it anymore.

[ Here is my chart if anyone wants to take a look of it! http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum34/HTML/001871.html ]
I'm sad though that I couldn't watch my friend's actions properly as we lived in different cities. *sigh*

She cut really often herself. She couldn't get over the of the abuse she faced in the past.

I don't blame myself for what happened, but yeah..

posted October 03, 2014 03:23 AM            

I took a quick look at your chart, it's very interesting. Some nice Trines, a complete Square and an opposition. Gives you a lot to flow and work with.

With regards to other people;

No matter how much we may feel,
we are only truly responsible for ourself,
others will make choices that we dislike or disagree with,
but they will make those choices none the less,
we can offer a tiny nudge or a decent push,
but in the end it is still their choice.

posted October 04, 2014 08:24 PM            

awwwww... so cute!

I understand the 'hedgehog' thing. Sometimes people here write with such depth that it takes that needing to step back and let their artistry 'steep' in us for a while. It's taking a proper moment to decipher and appreciate, not an ignore! But sometimes (like with me) my life has an avalanche and I don't get to return as quick, and then I feel as though 'too much time' went by...

Your chart is awesome.... talk about intensity and the depths! and DOUBLE INTERCEPTS :wow: ... I've seen this in the charts of people who live in "northern" latitudes such as some UK charts.

Character-building. Learning about power and its uses in society. When I saw P and K (pluto and chiron) there on your MC and 9th houses I immediately thought P.K> 'preacher's kid'! ... just silly here.

From what I figure, you're now 15 years old... When your friend died, Pluto had crossed over your 12th House cusp.

'When I was your age' (LOL....) I had a hunger for exploring the deep things about life. I have Sagittarian Ascendant, but also have intercepted houses. My Equatorial Ascendant is Capricorn... So that's like being a dual citizen of each. With your interest in astrology, you'll have a lot of fun figuring out how to track transits through the houses. You'll maybe be able to teach us about that some day.

Again, 'when I was your age' I had seen an advertisement in a science magazine and sent away for some little booklets from a (very) occult organization. They sent me membership papers later, and I filled it out with my "future" dates of courses of schooling, degrees, career, accomplishments, etc, etc.... But oh no, they sent back a letter saying that they could no longer communicate with me, as I was a minor! ..... Heck?! wha????

Here's a wonderful person who discusses the "Soul" of a Capricorn Rising. I wish you wonderful transformations.... nourish your Self.

posted October 05, 2014 06:51 PM            

And I'm pretty fanatic when it comes to explore deep stuff too. I guess that my Mars and Pluto placements do that.

And yup I'm 15.

Lol @ your story

posted October 07, 2014 03:32 AM            

I quickly read maybe 3 or 4 short threads of yours the other day. You really are a deep person... I like the way you think, and the deep things you're into. Glad your school allows you to study which-ever topic you're please to pursue. Your growth in learning astrology is astonishing. I bet you're a genius!

I hate to say 'when I was your age', (o gyod LOL)... but sheesh, when I was your age I wanted to be in a school like that. I borrowed a book back then from the library, about a very special school called Summerhill. I would sit there (nobody watching) and I'd just hug and hug that book, cry, look at the pictures, wishing so much that I could have gone to such a place filled with spontaneous in-depth learning.

When also I was 15, I heard news of an old schoolyard mentor who sadly had taken her pillow into a closet, then died there, by her own hand. (I'm over 59 now~~ and I still remember her, and her kindness.)

I knew her when I was somewhere around 10 years old. She had been noticing that I was treated unfairly and cruelly by a pack of girls in my grade. (They had been like that for years). So, I basically played alone for much of the time.

One day, I had gone to the part of the yard where the older girls were playing an interesting game. She saw and invited me in. I turned out to be good at it, and they regularly looked forward to my recess with them.

After a while... those mean-spirited girls decided to "complain" to the nuns, who then made a rule that students were ONLY to play with others 'of their own age.' My new friends were two years older than I. Sadly, I couldn't play anymore.

I recall the look of empathy on her face as she turned to go...

A handful of years later I was near a group of people who had just heard about her death the morning before. I never told them that I personally knew her.

Even today I still remember that moment. It became part of the backboard of my life. The little haunting wish-whisper and prayer I felt inside, wondering if I could have repaid her kindness towards me in some way. Could her life have been different?...

MiL... This remembering of your Dear Friend is part of the form for the backdrop of decisions you'll make-- ones you make now, later, and much later. What an exciting time of life for you. It's definitely not easy. Some years might be lighter, but heavy ones will be there too.

Your Luna is a much quintiled celestial object. You have natural talents and abilities then...

I have a sixth house Sun just below the horizon, as you have. I've been trying to sense the charts and persons with Suns in 6th and may be able to wrap words around it one of these days.

I pray you find your Calling early in life, and that you'd never stray too far from it. May Grace and mercy follow in every single day that you live, and with every kindness you show, may you feel that Blessing return.

posted October 07, 2014 12:43 PM            

quote:

---

I quickly read maybe 3 or 4 short threads of yours the other day. You really are a deep person... I like the way you think, and the deep things you're into. Glad your school allows you to study which-ever topic you're please to pursue. Your growth in learning astrology is astonishing. I bet you're a genius!

---

quote:

---

I hate to say 'when I was your age', (o gyod LOL)... but sheesh, when I was your age I wanted to be in a school like that. I borrowed a book back then from the library, about a very special school called Summerhill. I would sit there (nobody watching) and I'd just hug and hug that book, cry, look at the pictures, wishing so much that I could have gone to such a place filled with spontaneous in-depth learning.

---

Yeah, I like my new school a lot too. Sadly I won't stay there for a long time, but still... I just connect much better with people and teachers there than before... I haven't connected that much with everyone at school since 2nd grade.

quote:

---

When also I was 15, I heard news of an old schoolyard mentor who sadly had taken her pillow into a closet, then died there, by her own hand. (I'm over 59 now~~ and I still remember her, and her kindness.)

---

quote:

---

I knew her when I was somewhere around 10 years old. She had been noticing that I was treated unfairly and cruelly by a pack of girls in my grade. (They had been like that for years). So, I basically played alone for much of the time.

One day, I had gone to the part of the yard where the older girls were playing an interesting game. She saw and invited me in. I turned out to be good at it, andthey regularly looked forward to my recess with them.

---

I met my best friend in kind of similar way. I was ten or nine years old. I used to have friends in my own class, but they turned out fake, two-faced and mean, so I started distancing myself from them. They started bullying me because of that.

She saw me alone often and invited me to play with her. I was really happy.

quote:

---

After a while... those mean-spirited girls decided to "complain" to the nuns, who then made a rule that students were ONLY to play with others 'of their own age.' My new friends were two years older than I. Sadly, I couldn't play anymore.

---

posted October 07, 2014 12:58 PM            

quote:

---

I recall the look of empathy on her face as she turned to go...

A handful of years later I was near a group of people who had just heard about her death the morning before. I never told them that I personally knew her.

Even today I still remember that moment. It became part of the backboard of my life. The little haunting wish-whisper and prayer I felt inside, wondering if I could have repaid her kindness towards me in some way. Could her life have been different?...

---

The loss of important person always leaves deep emotional wounds... Even if it gets better and stops bleeding, the scar will always be there somewhere..

I remember that in one thread [that was about Moon and crying habits] someone [PixieJane, I think] said that she has cried more over cartoon character's death than over her dead friend.

I can relate to that. I can [and have done it] weep my eyes almost out because of fictional character's death, but when faced in the situation like this, they just won't come out. I'm not even holding back. The pain is just too sharp... You'll get pretty fast over your favorite character's death but that's not going to happen when you lose someone who was close to you.

Even when my grandma died I shed just couple of tears and that's it.. now it's the same with my friend.

quote:

---

MiL... This remembering of your Dear Friend is part of the form for the backdrop of decisions you'll make-- ones you make now, later, and much later. What an exciting time of life for you. It's definitely not easy. Some years might be lighter, but heavy ones will be there too.

---

I understand.

quote:

---

Your Luna is a much quintiled celestial object. You have natural talents and abilities then...

---

I think actually, that it's part of a configuration called Golden Yod. Pluto is at apex.
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yod_(astrology)#Golden_yod

I have -
Moon quintile Jupiter
Moon bQ Pluto
Jupiter bQ Pluto

quote:

---

I pray you find your Calling early in life, and that you'd never stray too far from it. May Grace and mercy follow in every single day that you live, and with every kindness you show, may you feel that Blessing return.

My own 'Dear Friend' made a Difference in my life that she never knew about.... Your Poems meant a lot to me, MiL.

---

posted October 07, 2014 08:35 PM            

Thanks for that interesting link about your "Golden Yod" ... quote YOD "This aspect activates either a powerful conduit of energy, or a deeply felt block, in the direction of the third separated planet."