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Iced8Ace
Knowflake

Posts: 54
From: CA
Registered: Aug 2014

posted November 06, 2014 11:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Iced8Ace     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wrote this in high school. Poem for the week 'cause I'm busy Sunday.

What to do?


Too shy,
Don't know how I can pass by
Without a glance
Incomplete as gazers do
As a wistful conformity of dew
Captures my eye and chance
Slips out of my encircled grasp

Engaged with old memories
Time microwaves these hot emotions
Couples in France
Of whose passions set in high motions
Linger shooting golden at the sun
What fruits and lies often spun
A kiss and miniature hearts were loves notions

Forehead and scars
Things you'd rather have sooner forgotten
A scorpionic dance
My poison set in precisely when you 1st dropped in
Rotten limbs you quickly slew
Back together I casually sew
To keep you together in a world you were lost in

Your longing shifting the air
In pursuit of sighs did I stab
In a funny way time grants:
Things you want but shouldn't have
Had I forgotten and yet you knew
That in time, you'd be brand new
In soul, do angels heavens grab

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Pearlty
Moderator

Posts: 788
From: Ohio
Registered: Jan 2012

posted November 08, 2014 01:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Pearlty     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Transformative and soul stirring

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Ayelet
Knowflake

Posts: 508
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted November 08, 2014 06:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Iced8Ace, this poem exudes sensitivity, and i liked the way you shape the images. provoking both thought and emotion.

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Ayelet
Knowflake

Posts: 508
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted November 09, 2014 10:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Images, metaphores, the whole lot

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mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 3048
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted November 10, 2014 05:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Echoing all that's been said... wow! High school talent? enormous!

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Iced8Ace
Knowflake

Posts: 54
From: CA
Registered: Aug 2014

posted November 15, 2014 04:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Iced8Ace     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I apologize for the late comment.

Thank you for all of your encouraging replies! I wrote a lot like that in high school. For ex:

What you've done

Distract me from my sorrow
Only you seem able to calm this monster within
As the clock tolls and the sun moves on
Accompany me through my darkest hours
Where this killer arrives at any opportunity of sin

Run through my connection of veins
Calm my troubled souls pain
Mask this monsters feelings of shame
Broken resolve, alter my ability to blame
Anyone but the one who left

Rob me of my ability to see
Everything’s wrong but of course you can see
Invisible noose, suffocate and poke at me
Stab openly at my insecurities

Keep stabbing, digging slowly the grave that will be mine
Place the soil gently, of course at the end of it all, you’d still think I’m fine
Forgotten, although wounds heal eventually
Just how many you created, you don’t seem able to see.

((I will post something more recent today, thank you again, girls )


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Pearlty
Moderator

Posts: 788
From: Ohio
Registered: Jan 2012

posted November 15, 2014 11:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Pearlty     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Gifts
You certainly write well.

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