Author
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Topic: Question in Black Velvet
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PisceanDream Knowflake Posts: 1301 From: Here Registered: Jun 2014
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posted December 21, 2014 06:31 PM
And kindly,Could you unbutton me From your heavy heart And pull me down, gently With care and caress From the graze of your romantic torment And maybe unzip your Sweet voice from my joints And let my bones go And let them thud against The cold marble plane And let me put myself Together again, again? Undress yourself from me, honey
I know you love to be naked IP: Logged |
thequeen Knowflake Posts: 917 From: Where There Is Only Sun Registered: Sep 2014
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posted December 22, 2014 03:19 AM
This !! Is!! Just!! Stirring!! IP: Logged |
PisceanDream Knowflake Posts: 1301 From: Here Registered: Jun 2014
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posted December 22, 2014 07:57 AM
Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it. IP: Logged |
Ayelet Knowflake Posts: 572 From: Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 22, 2014 12:57 PM
Loved it. Clever, amusing, emotive.IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 48076 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 22, 2014 01:33 PM
Sounds like Linda in Gooberz. Cleverly stirring.IP: Logged |
mirage29 Knowflake Posts: 3147 From: us Registered: May 2012
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posted December 22, 2014 04:10 PM
I love this, PisceanDream... It's dark and erotic, and yet full of hurt and grief? Black Velvet is used in sultry sensual alluring pieces of clothing or sheets; or, can also be present as a shroud at the time of a loss of a loved one (some sort of death).Is the 'Question' reminiscing a loss over asking your partner/lover to break up with you? Are you 'unbuttoning' the pain from your memory? (It's really good to have you here with us!) ) IP: Logged |
PisceanDream Knowflake Posts: 1301 From: Here Registered: Jun 2014
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posted December 23, 2014 04:06 AM
All of you, thank you very much! Mirage, your message is too sweet. I am glad to dip my feet in this thread a little (and to also feel welcomed while doing so makes it all the more encouraging!). I love to write poetry but am often very shy of letting others see it... I thought I would overcome this fear by starting to slowly post a few things. I like how you caught on to what I was trying to do with the Black Velvet. It is a very erotic and sultry material, evocative of the entire theme and tone of the poem. So the 'Question' is meant to speak of a paradoxical erotic perplexion. I am asking my lover, who has been wearing me (i.e keeping me close to him) to shed me out. I was on him but not inside of him, we weren't one although the illusion made it seem that we were. But I was just "clothes" after all, a removable, synthetic part of his appearance but not an actual part of him. But in the process of asking him to discard of me from his life, is to ask him to become naked and vulnerable. It's almost as if the end of us was actually the only time where the rawness and sincerity of our relationship was revealed. The love only came to be once he had taken me off and we had separated, and I as the speaker of this poem, gaze eroticized at his naked body but cannot partake in anything with him. The end of the poem is also a little jab at the lover... Kind of to say: the things that you love (to be naked) will become the source of your agony, how does it feel now to love that very thing when it hurts so much? So there's a little fleshing out... IP: Logged |