Posts: 611
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted December 23, 2014 06:18 PM            

---

Let It Rain

I don't care if it will rain,
I will come back to you.
And all your pains will be mine again,
and all your happiness too.
'Cause there's no jazz without our love,
There's plainly no music at all.
Just screaming of an iron maid,
and a washing machine turned on.
It's the squeaking of your metal nerves
and a yawn of mine from a distance,
and there is no religion
that separated it shall fit us.
Why are you so stubborn, make me
go for you all this way?
I guess I left you when you were close,
too close for me to stay.

IP: Logged

Posts: 3171
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted December 24, 2014 12:43 AM            

---

The mix is interesting ...curious.

IP: Logged

posted December 24, 2014 07:46 AM              

---

I love how you rhymed with syllables that sounded similar, and you pulled it off quite nicely. Lovely!

IP: Logged

Posts: 611
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted December 24, 2014 02:19 PM            

---

Thank you Mirage and PisceanDream!

IP: Logged

Posts: 48434
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 28, 2014 09:24 AM            

---

Good stuff.

IP: Logged

Posts: 833
From: Ohio
Registered: Jan 2012

posted December 29, 2014 07:51 PM            

---

I'm a little clumsy with response lately- just getting over being sick; but I really like this it was interesting to read over and decipher.

IP: Logged

Posts: 611
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted December 30, 2014 04:52 PM            

---

Thank you Pearlty, I hope you feel much better.

IP: Logged

Posts: 717
From: Magellan Castle, Venus
Registered: Mar 2013

posted December 30, 2014 09:41 PM            

---

This is pretty good. I really feel like this could be a song.

------------------
I call the planets by their Greek names.
Now please stop asking which asteroids I'm using? ^-^'
-La Sorcière du Temps

IP: Logged

Posts: 611
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted December 31, 2014 06:00 AM            

---

Thank oyu Sailor Gemini. Yes, I often feel or hear inside music when I write.

IP: Logged