posted December 10, 2015 11:10 AM            

Resist the hum drum
of furrowing and interpreting

Close the books
and shadowy existence
of another's experience

Self-help, modern novelties,
black and white articles
steps leading to no where
far from your uniquely colored
soul's landscape

Languidly yours
soulful and soothing..

Be readily open when it comes
not equipped, knowing
nor toxically forewarned

Instead absorb
music, life, beauty
walk home and sense
forget the easiness of convenience

Refraining from labels, boxes,
conformed entrapments
and any misinformed distractions

Shoes haven't any muddled doubt
when worn comfortably
the fit for you and yours
matching all aesthetics
perfectly sound

Keep it simply moving
complexities encourage fear

and listen, shhh away-
the banter, the chatter, the hiding,
ducking around

You're not as interesting
as another warm body, picturesque
story, open end communication,
while helpful exchanges are brightly given

Where there is piety
from ages and ages old
love is often given and found

When showiness ego
falls asleep, a quiet pity
often descends..

Showering a glow
barely seen by the busy
yet, the heart decrees semblance
if only by presence,
and always knows.

posted December 17, 2015 01:40 PM            

I know last time we spoke you mentioned about
being more personal. I thought about that a lot. It is difficult for me- perhaps 12th house related? For prayer sake for her though, I can put that all aside.

For starters my mother being ill is bringing on a myriad of unpleasant feelings. I've never been alone in the world and I don't look forward to it. We have coffee every morning whether in person or by phone. She is my confidant,best friend,and advocate. I worry about my dad as well, they have been married for 50 plus years. The family I have made on my own is wonderful, however not the same kind of bond that has made me feel protected in this sometimes awful world. It seems at every family gathering this past year with her, I have been trying to savor every moment. As not to forget that love.

The holidays are bitter sweet for me this year.
I'm trying to hang onto any peacefullness and or contented feelings God is willing to give me.

Mirage, thank you for being You, and a good friend.

posted December 19, 2015 01:45 AM            

I came back to linger on your poem again, and surprised, I found your post to me.

I feel stunned. This event is something really enormous for you, encompassing, crossing you into new land and territory.

Process it, as you are and have been. Allow it. Sit in and with your feelings.

And your description about your own made-family, and your mom-dad and you family IS different, isn't it?... That's one of those things that happen as you get older. The ones older than you all start to leave, and YOU become the frontline of elder for the family. ... That's one of those shocking things about getting older.

And I DO NOT want to call you 'old', okay?... no, no. You are still NOT over the hill. That starts past your Chiron-return, then you have until you complete your 2nd Saturn, plus a few over that before you really begin to have to deal with crossing into that more exity-feeling kind of age progress. Exiting one great batch, and entering new batch-group of agedness. (I'm the baby of 'that' group now. Ask me again twelve years from now...)

The "feeling" that they 'protected you' from this sometimes awful world, is psychological. You've been doing it all along.... but it's sooo nice when you have people who Love you surrounding you and caring how you are. ..... This is the advantage of marriage. You have a spouse, who has been with you for ALL these years. He's 'been there' all along. You can rely on him.

Commune with your mom. Be with her~~ just Be.

She's dealing and processing all this too. Such a private thing, that one has to do all by oneself inside. And she has HER husband to help her process everything too-- and they MUST do that.
(I remember Pres. Jimmy and Rosalyn Carter after the cancer diagnosis. (He's cancer-free now, at age 91.) I sensed some of what they must have gone through-- as a 'couple' I saw SUCH a thickening of their bonds of Love between them.)

Then again.... my experience with pgf.
I remember sitting in a room alone with my grandfather before he passed. I was nearly 8 yo, coloring in a book. He'd stare me down, and stare me down, just glared-stared.

Rays of his eyes just seemed to go right through me. Thought at one point that maybe he even looked evil-like, in a sort of way. But it was an anger. Private, inner anger.

Thirty years later, I described this experience to someone who had experience with people who were dying.

She told me that I represented 'life' to him, and that there's a processing of things inside a dying person. They come to terms with a sense of a kind of resentment. Maybe it's not conscious? but being brought up towards fuller thoughts in their waking consciousness. A dying person must go through the process of separating themselves from the living towards the bridge of passing into death that awaits.

I've heard that the hardest part about dying is all the pre-dying. ... That Death itself is for that person an unfoldment into their new experience. They'll still be conscious, but not in same way. Death is an illusion. Two-way mirror, but for the ones left living. No separation there, but it's an actual separation then empty experience for those left behind.

It's okay that you want to write to each other through these small boxes-- the white magic window in the purple and yellow frames. It's all right, Pearlty

And I know it to be true about you, that you you feel like you want/need to be strong, to be 'there' for everyone else........-- However, you MUST allow others to carry this too. It's too much weight to carry all by yourself. It's okay if you can't. You might think everyone expects you to?, but that could be your own projection there, maybe? Your kids are grown now. Too much on you is too much. Take breaks. Assimilate what's happening.

I can sense about what you're saying with your dad! ... Allow those males to bond with the male (as what happened between your husband and your brother-- they know what they're doing). I'm sure your brother will be able to help emotionally support him?

Anyways, it's really early and I need to go to bed. But I'm really glad I saw your post.

Yes, holidays get more and more bitter sweet. Count your Blessings this Christmas...

Pearlty-- God IS Willing.
He's always there. It's a Constant you can rely on-- Even when you don't feel Him sometimes, He's STILL there. Will never leave.

His Angels are there too, to help you. Just call on them even in the smallest tiniest details. ... Remember the TV Show, Touched By An Angel? ... Everyone has angels assigned to them. We are not left by ourselves.

If you need to talk, you know my number. Leave a message if I don't notice the phone ringing, or I'll never know you tried to call. The little red light will flash indicating your call.

Hang on to peacefulness... AND it's Okay if that slips from time to time. Feel those feelings. It's okay to be only-human.

Pearlty, if you need me, please let me know how I can help.

posted December 19, 2015 02:37 PM            

I'm so glad you are more refreshed right now. Go into this Christmas with the FULLNESS that's available through it.

Everyone will be there... IN their bodies. How very very fortunate. You can celebrate with the Living and have a conscious experience of what it means to be truly alive. We be alive-still when we pass, but to be IN the body and alive at Christmas just has to be a treat. Stay in the Now.

This Christmas will have a Full Moon in CANCER... The zodiac sign that represents 'nurturing' and caring and appreciating those you love dearest and nearest to your Heart, and experiencing 'family-values' and (at Christmas) re-enacting those traditions that have warmed your Heart and soul for generations.

You are sooooo indeed very and quite Lucky, my Pearlty. You have a family to Love, and family members who love and appreciate you for who you are (not what you DO-- it's who you just Be).

Take good care.... Be Loved, Beloved-one.

posted January 07, 2016 10:03 AM            

When my mom got wind of this, she was actually kind of upset with us, yet in an understanding way--she doesn't like her family mourning after her, when she feels fine, despite the symptomless ailments going on inside her body. Procedures and recoup time are on the horizon, and her spirits are excellent, which takes much of my worry away and a good reminder for me to encompass the power of positivity. Some that preside over the doom and gloom in this situation-I really have to close my ears to mindfully.

My parents have decided to become snow birds this winter, (albeit a late start) and head south to their other home, as soon as she gets the green light to travel- post any treatment. I can't think of a better place to recover and heal...among the sand, sun, slow paced life style, and warmth. It's amazing to think something greater than us puts us exactly where we need to be.

posted January 07, 2016 02:45 PM            

Pearlty, It's normal for you and your siblings and extendeds to come together to share and process the thoughts, feelings, and every nuance and implication of the news you received about your mother's health.

The event of her (and other's) passing WILL happen. For everyone born in a body, the flesh skin and suit will drop down, like an old jacket falling from your hands. YOU, as you know yourself now, will still 'remain'.

The older one gets, the more natural assurance we have that our time here is shorter. Look at the odds, too, of how 'long' their life has BEEN already. They beat soooo many odds. (Look at the possibilities of sudden-falls, accidents. *I know you experienced that in this past year, Pearlty with other friends and family members.*

Yes, you see the coming loss, yet LOOK that your loved one. She is STILL alive, still talking and breathing and speaking and telling you that she Loves you!!

That 'now' moment is in front of your face, saying ~Hey, yoohoooo, I'm STILL ~here!!. This is to ALLOW you to FULLY celebrate them, while they're here, IN the body, and while you can still converse and exchange real words and hugs, and Love on them.

Many persons consult psychic mediums for AFTER that soul has crossed. But wow, think of the glorious advantage you have while they are still alive, kicking their heels, and WITH you. -- And keep in mind too, have the understanding and assurance now, that they will be safe (and yes, in a better place than we are) after they drop their birthday-suit.

There is SOOO much Peace you can bring to all of you (family) right now, by talking about these things out loud with each other. The elephant IS in the room, and begging to be spoken of. You'll have more solidness, acceptance, and stability when the shifting comes.

But also the discussions will serve to have those loose-ends tied up so that when the passing comes, it will be full of Ease, Grace, and a Beautiful Letting go.

And omg, of COURSE-- it will be so incredibly terribly sad... How could you NOT be in sorrow? That's so human and raw and to be expected that you would feel pain when they release from their body.... To feel emotion is NORMAL and NEEDS to be expressed.

But as the layers are healed in the emotions because of the 'loss', all that 'fullness' that happened as a result of tying up all the little loose ends will rise up and swell in the saddened spaces of the psyche. There will be an appreciation and grand grand gratitude that you lived with this Being, and knew her/him intimately in whatever way, and now when the life is released, the SHOWERS and CASCADES of Gifts flow from them, from above to below. Their soul and entity, will disperse jewels and treasures from their life down to their beloveds in the keenest ways possible. This will Comfort you.

They do not die. They Live.

In fact, sometimes I wonder if we should periodically face all our relationships like that.

Here at LL, our website was momentarily gone. Fifteen years of work by Randall, his baby, was taken away and a Loss was felt, and with grace he found Acceptance with that, and it was then given back-- even improved, in many levels and ways. It was like the workings of an eclipse. (Thank you soooo much, Randall.)

We 'felt' the momentary sting of how instant and unexpected the reality of our mortality is. It's like a power switched on and off. Then came the grace of the Coming of Second Chances. A Rising back. Priorities adjusted themselves on many persons agendas.

What would you now want to say to that soul you feel so close to?

Appreciate them, appreciate everyone as in that moment of transition. See the Glory and blessing of their contribution to the earth and to your life.

..... There's a saying, to live and approach every day as though it were your last. Act as though all earthly life is but one Blade of Grass that you focused down upon. And you wrote on your pages, and on everyone else's journal references. Your soul's life was the poetry-- say the words you'd never want them to ever forget. Inscribe it on the memory, and in their Hearts.

I Love You. Please Forgive Me. I Forgive You. You Are Important To Me. You Amaze Me. I Am Grateful That You Lived (or that You Are Alive with ME, Right Now). Thank You for Being Born. I Thank God for Your Life. I Am Honored and Humbled By Your Presence in my life.

The Essence of The Divine With'In Me, greets salutes and celebrates The Essence of The Divine With'In You.

We Are Separate. We ARE One. Thou and I Never Apart

posted January 10, 2016 08:43 PM            

And Pearlty, you have my sympathy, with respect to your parents...I hope they are okay still and enjoying the weather down south.