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Author Topic:   Missing
Ayelet
Knowflake

Posts: 1411
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 26, 2016 07:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There's no one around
I'm expecting your call
It's cold and dark outside
They're all missing
on the other side,
waiting for your fall.
Will you join them?
I am all alone,
breaking through the walls of sadness
which you left undone
with your shimmering smile and your witted tongue
There's laughter all around, like a
sea gull shrieking,
telling me what to do
if I must be losing you

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 64979
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 27, 2016 08:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 5359
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted March 27, 2016 02:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ayelet {{ }} Loss.... is an Illusion. You'll always be right 'Here'. {{ }}

~~

(Letting you know I have limited access to being creative on computer today, and doing errands tomorrow. Be Well... {{{ }}} )

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Ayelet
Knowflake

Posts: 1411
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 28, 2016 09:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Randall, no need to sob.. Mirage, I know.

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mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 5359
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted March 29, 2016 01:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ayelet..... Loss is NOT all illusion.

I just lost my ELABORETTE search-system on this computer. I had a system of FAVORITES and I CAREFULLY built up for the past FIVE YEARS.

Some of those places/urls I had were connected to very obscure places. I had an ability to check the astro-clock and asteroids with a swapping of a tab.

It's GONE. All GONE. I am soooooooooo livid and pisseddded off right now. ALL MY WORK, GONE!!!!!! There are no URLS that show up here. I have to do weird-thing to try to get an URL to show so I can reference things. It's all just words, and NO REFS.

You know.... They have all this new software to keep people as SLAVES rather than directly being THE BOSS of your own self.

People know me as a gentle person, and I very very much am. AND THERE'S A SIDE OF ME THAT IS EFFIN-hardcoreBUSINESS TIME!!! And I RESENT NOT BEING ABLE to DO 'MY' WORK.

The problem today is NOT the 'hood, but this 'new product' that the CARELESSNESS of rm 'allowed INTO' our computer system. He has been so freaking INCREDIBLY selfish and CARELESS, CARELESS, CARELESS.

He had gotten into one of his 'destructo' modes lately------ doing things to undermine me. And NOW (accidently?) it's THE COMPUTER that got messed up.

He gets all pissedofffff and BLAMES everything ON ME, then finds out 'it was him'. I've tried not to 'react' but to be patient. He is a MASTER, master guilt-manipulator.


I had a health-event yesterday, that sent me on an emergency visit to my doctor. I take 'physical' RESPONSIBILITY 'literally' TO MY HEART.

I've had the meanest people (not LL) chiming in about how everyone has to TAKE their own "RESPONSIBLITY." Well I FREAKING DO!!!, and I cannot do 'EVERYTHING' by myself...... The WEIGHT I PERSONALLY pull to do EVERYTHING may be killing me, literally.

I had to make a compromise-promise with the doctor because they were going to transfer me by ambulance to hospital for heart problem.

Based on EKG, they said IF it was bad enough, I would have to agree to a transfer. That's what we did.

The EKG was not normal, and they called it "flukey"--- But the doctor ALSO picked up that I MIGHT be having some asthmatic bronchial-symptoms-- no wheezing, but pains and lead-pressing-tightening there.

ALSO, I was 'beginning' one of those neural-migraines which included (this time) a 'tone' I was hearing. That's something 'new' that I hadn't encountered before.

PLUS, all this freaking 'anxiety' I've been 'feeling'.......

It's like, I feel a calmness way deep within, BUT!!!! 'my body' betrays me. I feel 'torn' and anxious and SOOOOO READY to leave this place and get on with my life, with NO way to do it 'by my self'.

So.... I'm sitting in the middle of this mix. Feeling symptoms in my body like I normally don't feel. (I had to agree to go see a cardiologist 'with' my compromising, laughing gently and knowingly here.)

This past weekend, there were INTENSE 'woofer-blasts'. There was one blast around 3am/3:30am, that sounded like a giant sustained DEEP F-O-G-H-O-R-N that radiated my whole living space O--M--G!! My cot was already shaking-vibrating from their speakers, and 'THE BLAST' made my heart start to do ~weirdness. (The EKG?).

(Right now, someone's got something thumping and scraping away.... Makes me want to THROW UP vomit.)

So..... UNTIL I get some problems "solved" here, I don't know 'how much work' I can do at LL.

I'm sure rm will be LIVID about the changes on this computer..... He can't handle frustrations well these days, and is in regressing-habits.

Like I said, I DO 'feel calm' in a lot of ways, YET!!!!!, my body 'must' be 'stressing' somehow or it wouldn't be feeling like this.

At the end of any post (if I post), I'll be leaving urls TO the post, because when I 'print' it will have the address there for me as a temporary-footer.

UNTIL I figure out how to use my printer with this new downloaded system, Please excuse. More detail in my 'main' thread.

THIS is the ONLY SONG I have.

Apparently it was the 'last youtube' I watched/listened to. It's THE ONLY Url I have to my whole poofed system of youtubes right now--- until I 'figure out' the new system. There are NO FAVS. No PrintPreviews.... ALL OF IT, GONE!!!!!

So...... Thanks for reading. I HOPE you're doing well, Ayelet. Should I 'go missing' here for a while this week, then you'll understand and be able to share the info with other folks who wonder where I went.

Your interpretation of that 'wasp dream' in Astral Realms WAS AMAZING!!!!!! YOU are Brilliant!!!!!!! People are lucky to have you here, Ayelet. And I'm proud to call you a friend!

(music) Sending You Light (Melanie Demore) [3:39] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSNQFstyu_s

____________
Temporary linking for when I print http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum17/HTML/003159.html

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Ayelet
Knowflake

Posts: 1411
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 29, 2016 02:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow Mirage, take care! {{ }} Sounds very unpleasant indeed, I hope your heart will do o.k., that it is something temporary... I understand there are a couple of more health problems... I wish you'll get past all that... As for the computer, I know it must be very irritating, though your health is more of an important issue.

Thank you for the song, the last song! Hoping it won't be really the last of course. I hope everything will be fixed, and we'll be hearing from you again soon...

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mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 5359
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted March 29, 2016 03:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ayelet .... You just have this special 'way' of cheering me up, I swear!!! {{{THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!}}}

Yes dear Ayelet.... NO one takes 'responsibility' and CARING for People stronger than I do. I feel it down INSIDE my own physical body. It's a deep Care that reaches across the etherwaves and the Globe!

(Excuse if I'm appearing too roller-coaster--- so much disturbance going on right now as I type. I'm just so incredibly incredibly relieved 'right-in-this-VERY-moment' to be able to 'reply' to you. I do not know what tomorrow brings--- omg song!!!, but I 'receive' every one of your good and well-wishes towards me.... and I resonate back to you.)

What happened to our computer this morning reminds me of when LL crashed at the beginning of the year. I LOVE my LL Peeps!! ~~ O yes I do!

I'm having to 'remember' who I listen to for my daily inspirations and actively hand-search for them. I'll have to make a written list for myself for reminders.

There is NO ability to "Favorite" on this computer anymore.

I DID find though that copy-pasting, deleting, etc etc, WITH a Link attached at the bottom of my posts here, and Yellow-Star my saved email, can help me find threads again.

I got 'here' by going into my email saved, and clicking the url.

(humorously) hahahahaha!!!! Fie!!!! Fie!!!!!! You can't keep a Good Woman down!! no sir!!!


(music) Love Lifts Us Up (Joe Cocker, Jennifer Warnes, from Spirit) [3:45] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63QOWqIKqac

_____________
ref. Ayelet's poem, "Missing"
... Yellow Wax forum http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum17/HTML/003159.html

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 64979
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 30, 2016 12:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I will avoid Microsoft 10. Thanks for the heads up.

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LF DX
Knowflake

Posts: 243
From: Paraguay
Registered: Sep 2014

posted March 30, 2016 03:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LF DX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I didn't have any problems with Win 10 so far, to me it was pretty good.

On with the threads.

Amazing poem Aye

"with your shimmering smile and your witted tongue
There's laughter all around, like a
sea gull shrieking,
telling me what to do
if I must be losing you"

These lines were powerful.

And to Mirage, hope you are well, sometimes these kind of storms are necessary for a change of pace, who knows... But take care, and have a well deserved rest, that's what I would do in your case.

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Ayelet
Knowflake

Posts: 1411
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 30, 2016 04:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You cannot keep a good woman down, surely not the best... hang on, dear spirit.

Thank you LF DX

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Pearlty
Moderator

Posts: 1351
From: Ohio
Registered: Jan 2012

posted March 31, 2016 12:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Pearlty     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Such a meaningful poem.

to quote your words...
"You cannot keep a good woman down, surely not the best... hang on, dear spirit."

so true Ayelet!

and glad you were able to get your computer issues sorted out Mirage!


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mirage29
Knowflake

Posts: 5359
From: us
Registered: May 2012

posted March 31, 2016 05:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mirage29     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks! ... found out we became 'involuntary' Beta-testers for this windows10/microsoftedge.

Really messed up my routines. Can't print things like I used to.

This program is not for people who are into 'privacy'... It is known as a "data miner" program. Then with each page you visit, every keystroke and choice is noted, then they 'intuitively' reconfigure your computer main page to throw suggestions at you that they think you'd like.

Some of the things are good. There's a program to highlight and mark up documents and save them, to share with others. It would be like LL Poets EACH adding their own page-poem to a big collective cloud-book, and I can imagine (maybe) a possibility from there of a collaborated-published electronic book? .... I don't know that for sure. Just going with the flow of what they present for business endeavors in a single office, or networked office.

To have a book in the cloud would be cool because you could add music(soundbites) to it. Since this acts as (what I used to know was called) a 'Document Assembler', you could have art and words.... I don't know about embedded music links. Certainly stirs the imagination, though.

I think the other part of the problem with window10/microsoftedge at home is that it is DESIGNED for Mobile devices... not desktop monitors.

Some of the things we get presented, we'd need a vertical-orientation to view and not the horizontal one.


Pearlty , you said you mailed me your book around or before Easter? I never received it. IF you sent it, I didn't get it yet.... Postman knows I've been expecting it. He asked me the other day again.
So nice to see you. I hope your business is on the upswing, and your health is good, and that your mom's healthy as well.


LF... I could see you liking Windows10. It's fast. .... And I DO see Possibility. Just, I hate that it doesn't conform to my printer software. This printer can do a lot of things. What I wind up with is 2 or 3 point font? .... super super tiny. But at least, it's my intellectual property in hardcopy.... through using Yahoo email. That (at least) has the legal time and date stamped on it.

Randall... If you like 'privacy'~~ research this one out before you would ever download. There are still driver problems. They're still working out the kinks. They say it's like Vista was, to Windows 2000.

It changes and swishes around a lot right now. Like, Chaos.

Ayelet! .... (Thanks for the notes at my thread.), and the Well-wishes. That was pretty scary the other day.

(sorry, hard for me to concentrate right now)

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Ayelet
Knowflake

Posts: 1411
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 31, 2016 07:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you Pearlty, for reading, appreciating and firing my words back at me

Mirage, any time...

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thequeen
Knowflake

Posts: 2427
From: India
Registered: Sep 2014

posted May 08, 2016 09:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for thequeen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A cry for your lover or whomsoever you want to refer here. Very emotive and put so simply so silent yet unveiling the inner fear of being let alone scares you. Simple and powerful.

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Ayelet
Knowflake

Posts: 1411
From:
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 11, 2016 11:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ayelet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for the reading thequeen, some time has passed indeed...

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