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Author
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Topic: Lilith
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LF DX
Knowflake Posts: 301
From: Paraguay
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted July 15, 2016 04:06 PM
  
You, madam, the eternal humorist,
The enemy of the absolute,
You have made me an artist
Of damnation and distress
So cold, yet fragile as thin ice
I’m caught by your spell
Of mortal bliss
Madam LilithEyes I dare not meet in dreams
In death's dream kingdom
Eyes that haunts you
In the underworld’s realms
They glance, they seek
Nothing but animal lust
I am your puppet of sex
Madam Lilith Lady of silences
Your wicked ways are evil
I shall run from your presence
Cause death is your mandate
Dark rose of forgetfulness
Giver of lovesickness
I am yours as my blood flows
Madam Lilith
I am yours
Madam Lilith
IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 67068
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 16, 2016 12:29 PM
Wow!IP: Logged |
Pearlty
Moderator Posts: 1410
From: Ohio
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 16, 2016 01:08 PM
This has a really cool wordy tone to it, and would sound amazing read aloud and orated for others. IP: Logged |
LF DX
Knowflake Posts: 301
From: Paraguay
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted July 16, 2016 02:38 PM
I used some verses from some TS Eliot poems, I'm doing the Bob Dylan thing of using verses from others and using them into my songs and poems, I'm in a overpowered creative state, like never before.IP: Logged |
Pearlty
Moderator Posts: 1410
From: Ohio
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 16, 2016 02:57 PM
You keep building on that creativity, and you'll get where you want to go.  IP: Logged |
thequeen
Knowflake Posts: 2557
From: The Devil Wears Prada
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted July 16, 2016 04:19 PM
well crafted. loved the depth and also sarcasm i suppose if it's in there...IP: Logged |
LF DX
Knowflake Posts: 301
From: Paraguay
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted July 16, 2016 07:48 PM
There's no sarcasm in this song, it's about the emotions I'm feeling towards a woman, powerful emotions that I barely control at this point, and the only way to convey them is through poems and songs.The lady in question is the first... woman I had a "deep" connection. IP: Logged |
thequeen
Knowflake Posts: 2557
From: The Devil Wears Prada
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted July 16, 2016 07:52 PM
My bad. It's a powerful display of emotions, passionate..IP: Logged |
mirage29
Knowflake Posts: 5779
From: us
Registered: May 2012
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posted July 16, 2016 10:50 PM
Well!, the asteroid god of hung caught trapped and cornered, conjuncts the sister of devotion ON your Part of Fortune! haha, and hot hot hot. Go fer it! I loved this. Oh, and what Pearlty said about orating your poems?? What a COOL idea! Why not experiment with a hot dramatic passionate reading of your work, breathing it into a microphone like you were telling this into our ears, or the ears of your lover...? Yeah! A youtube of you dressed and drenched in sweat. Blacks, some velvet blue-violet light enhancements, a spotlight coming from overhead. A bit of smoke in the air. It's dark... camera from around belly high and away from you ~4 feet away? Sometimes you look down into the camera, other times closing your eyes and tipping that head back, hair damp, drips with a bit of wetness. You might record your voice speaking with distant background of tones, or instrumental. But your voice would be primary. Love it!!! Imagine a Professor Snape kind of image from Harry Potter movies... Standing at microphone. http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Severus_Snape
(music) I Put A Spell On You (Annie Lennox, Luigi Angeloni performs) [3:33] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4h0vRCTUbBU
Look at the background and scene with David Cook's performance... and he did a gut-version of this song. (music) Billy Jean (David Cook, Am.Idol audition) [4:50] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZGvgj_y-Ao
With this style of authenticity and intimacy....
(music) My Little Valentine (Alice Fredenham, Britain's Got Talent 2013) [3:17] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPm9x8i5c_Y
(music) I Put A Spell On You (The Voice, audition, Joe Maye) [5:27] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApJ0UPR5eqE
I hope we see you in some kind of entertainment audition some day....  IP: Logged |
LF DX
Knowflake Posts: 301
From: Paraguay
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted July 16, 2016 11:46 PM
I recite poems with some friends I've met in a literary workshop, but they are in spanish, but most of then don't know how deep are some of my stuff in english... I could record this poem later and post here. But this one will be a song for my heavy rock band, that's what's on my mind.Interesting points: What do you thing of a connection that has her pluto square my moon exact, her lilith opposite my venus exact, my lilith conjuncts her eros almost exact, my juno opposite her venus exact, her valentine trines my scorpio stellium on close aspect, and her juno conjuncts my jupiter exact, and her mars conjuncts my venus?.... That's already a lot to handle with the virgo woman... and it's quite a thing to me. IP: Logged |
Ayelet
Knowflake Posts: 1522
From:
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted July 17, 2016 02:16 AM
A very impressive poem.IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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