posted January 02, 2009 05:08 PM           

Sign: Aries, the Ram, approximate dates are March 21-April 20
Ruled by: Mars
Keyword: Headstrong
Quality: Cardinal
Element: Fire
House: First House. Me me me house.

Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. It begins on the first official day of spring, around March 21st, the day when the amount of sun and night is (theoretically) equal, the Spring Equinox. Aries is a starter, a go go go sign. One thing I've always loved about most Aries is that there is never any "hidden agenda" -- it's just not in the make up. And that goes well with the First House association. In more traditional astrology, the First House is associated with the very basic nature of the person himself.

The First House, and especially the Ascendant, the ruler of the First House often dictates what a person's "astrological personality" will be. Aries is a young and robust sign, and this carries well into the sun sign and the First House association.

Shopping at 3:00 AM:Precision Shopping. Even in an induced stupor at three in the morning, the Aries knows what he wants, and the Aries gets what he is looking for. Nothing will deter him from this mission. Since Mars rules cutting instruments, being the Roman God of War, you can expect a surgical strike on the grocery store at 3:00 AM. A popular Aries food is the olive which has been stuffed with a Serrano Pepper. Make sure that's on the list for the 3:00 AM Food Strike Force.

Brick Wall: Just as the symbol for Aries is the Ram, and just as the glyph for Aries is the Ram's Horns, Aries is very straightforward about problem resolution. They are very direct. Put a brick wall in front of an Aries, and he will charge straight into it. He will just lower his head, and bang away on that brick surface until something cracks. Like as not, it will be the wall. Aries are accused of being stubborn, but that's not really the case. There is a certain amount of determination that comes with them, though, and they do charge headlong into that brick wall almost every time.

Bait: Live shad -- see, an Aries fish needs something that wiggles, and let's face facts, in some cases -- and Aries is just such a case -- no artificial bait can replace that special movement you can only get with a live one. For the non-technical folks, we call it action. Aries needs action, activity, and agility in order to get caught. Nothing works better than live shad for big redfish.

Dating: It's a pretty straightforward thing, this dating stuff. You're on or you're off, you're in or you're out. It's that simple, not a lot of questions. This is where the marvelous uncomplicated nature of the Aries is best exhibited. Be prepared for a few direct hits from an Aries, though.

Revenge: Most forms of revenge just don't work on the impervious Aries hide. Outright lying seems to be good way to get back at them, but even that has a bad ring to it, and we all know that telling a bald-faced lie might get you in as much trouble. Aries is forgiving of the common mistake of intention instead of action, "I was meaning to give you a call, but I got busy...." Occasionally, an Aries will get short tempered with a lack of direct, verifiable action. It's part of the Cardinal Quality an Aries has, the "giddy up and go" feeling which permeates their lives.

Body part: Head and face.

Notable Personalities with the Sun in Aries: Don Adams, Herb Alpert, Alan Arkin, Hans C. Andersen, Fatty Arbuckle, Patrica Arquette, Johnann S. Bach, Pearl Baily, Alec Baldwin, Charles Baudelaire, Warren Beatty, George Benson, Marlon Brando, Jerry Brown, Anita Bryant, James Caan, Irene Cara, David Cassidy, Charlie Chaplin, Cesar Chavez, Eric Clapton, Francis Ford Coppola, Joan Crawford, Clarence Darrow, Bette Davis, Doris Day, Rene Descartes, Isak Dinesen, Celine Dion, Robert Downy Jr., Aretha Franklin, Al Green, Joel Grey, Sir Alec Guiness, Emmylou Harris, William Holden, A.E. Housman, Henry James, Tama Janowitz, Thomas Jefferson, Eltion John, Nikita Khruschev, Julian Lennon, John Madden, Jayne Mansfield, Steve McQueen, Don Meredith, Elizabeth Montgomery, Dudley Moore, Harry Morgan, Eddie Murphey, Arthur Murray, Sussanne Kerner Nena, Wayne Newton, Leonard Nimoy, Conan O'Brien, Rosie O'Donnell, Madalyn O'Hair, Gary Oldman, Gregory Peck, Joseph Pulitzer, Dennis Quaid, Debbie Reynolds, Pete Rose, Diana Ross, Leon Russell, William Shatner, Martin Short, B.F. Skinner, Algernon Swinburne, Quentin Tarantino, Paul Theroux, Peter Ustinov, Vincent Van Gogh, Muddy Waters, Jack Webb, Willaim Wordsworth, and Cale Yarborough.

SUN in ARIES
One of the easiest ways to recognize an Aries is the fact that there is usually blood on the forehead. This is from repeatedly imitating the action of the Ram, and barreling headfirst into whatever comes along. Often as not, this is a fixed object. Another bizarre and probably unrelated fact is that most Aries have some pronounced red in their hair. I once had trouble with an English woman when we were conversing about the word "aggressive" because her definition had overtones of violence in it. Aries are aggressive, but I mean that in the much softer American version of the word: that is, an Aries is a willing to go right out there and get what the Aries wants.

I always like Aries because the sun sign is very straightforward, no hidden agenda in here at all, and that makes dealing an Aries pretty easy. What they say, they mean. One of the problems with being an Aries, though, is that most Aries are considered blunt and cold. It's not that the person is either blunt or cold, he or she is just quick to deal with a situation. While I'm still getting worked up, the Aries has already moved on. "You still worried about that?" the Aries asks. "Shoot, I've already forgiven you." I think to myself, "What'd you mean, 'forgiven me'? Come back here and fight! I'm just getting worked up." Because Aries is a new sign, the first sign of the tropical zodiac, you can come across as childish. I didn't say you were childish, but sometimes that's how an Aries is received. Face it, you want what you want when you want it, and yesterday was not soon enough, right? And sometimes you put your words into action faster than your brain can think to yourself and say, "Self, do I really want to do this?"

Mars rules Aries if that gives you any indication (Mars IS the God of War). An Aries favorite color is probably a shade of red. And cars. Mars is associated with transportation. Actually, it is associated with movement, but in this day and age that means wheels, so we call it a Car Star. It does give a certain edge in physical situations, too, although you do have this aggressive streak which does scare some people. I'd call it "forthright" instead of aggressive, though. Without a certain amount of coming and going and doing, you can become depressed. Activity is important to you on all levels.

When it comes to music, Bach, Mussorgsky, Rachmaninov, and Toscanini were all born under the sign of the Ram, as were Herbie Hancock and Herb Alpert. Your listening pleasure will tend more towards Beethoven's Symphonies Nos. 5 and 7. Any of Wagner's "The Ring" is also suggested.

ARIES ASCENDANT
This is a winner because Aries rules this house, and it adds a little more kick to the Ascendant, so to speak. Or type, as the case may be. In my own observation, I usually find a hint of red in someone's hair if that person has an Aries Ascendant. It's not, like, a hard and fast rule, but it is a general indication. And the Aries Ascendant is usually poised for a great deal of success and forever looking up. It's the way you're wired. Ambition is a good thing, and this gives you the air of being very ambitious -- or the fire, because Aries is a Fire Sign. You're going to find that you brook no B.S. from other people. I've always liked this Ascendant for that very reason: no fooling around, straight up and straight ahead. You will also be full of energy, or at the very least, you'll appear that way. While you may not be openly combative, you will not shrink away from a good fight.

Some folks with an Aries Ascendant: Lynn Anderson, Joan Baez, David Crosby, Bo Derek, Phillip K. Dick, Billy Graham, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Bette Middler, Lynn Redgrave, and Cale Yarborough.

MOON in ARIES
You will always want to turn feelings into physical experiences, and you will seek instant (that's just not fast enough) gratification. You are passionate and energetic, one might call you an adventuresome soul who finds it hard to settle down to a daily routine. This is especially apparent because you feel trapped by long term commitments. You seem restless and impatient. With your quick, almost volatile temper, you can come across as being easily aroused and aggressive. You are dynamic and self-assertive; however, this can also manifest itself as you being resentful of authority. This means it is hard for you to take advice. You are self-indulgent, careless and overconfident to the point of seeming foolhardy. This can be overcome because you are a genuine inspiration and are generous.

posted January 02, 2009 05:48 PM           

"ARIES ASCENDANT
This is a winner because Aries rules this house, and it adds a little more kick to the Ascendant, so to speak. Or type, as the case may be. In my own observation, I usually find a hint of red in someone's hair if that person has an Aries Ascendant. It's not, like, a hard and fast rule, but it is a general indication. And the Aries Ascendant is usually poised for a great deal of success and forever looking up. It's the way you're wired. Ambition is a good thing, and this gives you the air of being very ambitious -- or the fire, because Aries is a Fire Sign. You're going to find that you brook no B.S. from other people. I've always liked this Ascendant for that very reason: no fooling around, straight up and straight ahead. You will also be full of energy, or at the very least, you'll appear that way. While you may not be openly combative, you will not shrink away from a good fight."

"SUN in AQUARIUS
Uranus rules Aquarius. And now it's time for a little astronomy lesson. Remember, Astronomy and Astrology used to be the same thing until more recent years. Earth has a north pole and a south pole, seasons, day and night, that sort of thing. Uranus also has a north pole, but its poles point at the sun at all times. In other words, here's a planet that is about 90 degrees off from the rest of the solar system. This makes an excellent metaphor for a typical Aquarius. And every Aquarius is an individual, just like every other Aquarius.... I call this the sign of the black leather jacket, but since so many kids these days are going for the biker look, an Aquarius won't actually wear a black leather jacket any more. But there's something decidedly unconventional about Aquarians. Something a little different. Something strange, in a good way. Aquarius, in the natural zodiac, is associated with the 11th House, the place where groups of people are found. With this, the Aquarius is gregarious sort. However, with the light and airy quality from its element, this isn't always a joiner. A gregarious loner comes to mind. In keeping with its rebellious tendencies, an Aquarius tends to follow the leader but question that leader the whole way.

One great scientist/astronomer who is an Aquarius was Clyde Tombaugh, the feller who first "saw" Pluto. This isn't unusual, not for a typical Aquarius. Science as well as the science of the mind, psychology, all has a an appeal. Social studies and social work are strong interests, as well. Cooking is not usually a strong skill with Aquarius, though. Aquarians are adept at turning great changes into challenges and hence a fight worth fighting for, but they do have a problem with the small changes day to day. Big problems are no problem, but little irritants are a major source of discomfort.

It is possible to communicate with an Aquarius without speaking. How good are you are telepathy?

And look at this list of Aquarius musicians: Placido Domingo, Philip Glass, Mendelssohn, Mozart, Schubert, and even Garth Brooks. But in Austin, we call Garth the "Anti-Hank". Pretty cool, huh? For listening, you would most likely appreciate Wagner's "Parsifal" because it's so involved. Or maybe some old-time country like Bob Wills."

"MOON in SCORPIO
Scorpio usually means sex, and with you, it's no different. You are an animal, at least in some respects. Then again, you have wide (size of a Ford truck, at least) mood swings. It seems like you are always trying to control, which is okay, since you have an amazing ability to overcome adversity. You are secretive with a keen interest in learning about others. Bad habits are hard to break, and this really holds true for you. Something else that drives you to distraction is situations that offer no solutions and people who refuse to reveal anything to you. You will probably reap the karmic rewards in this life rather than the next. Your intuition can be spot on, and you have a shrewd manner about you. You have the ability to be a clever mechanic or craftsman. You are best suited to emotionally dealing with resources, especially, and don't you hate these words, human resources."

posted January 02, 2009 06:49 PM         

Flavor: Mint-Chocolate

Grocery store: Taurus are fun to shop with. The tactile nature of Taurus turns a simple trip to the grocery store into a sensory experience. There're melons to thump, tomatoes to squeeze, the mint to smell, and maybe a few fresh cut flowers to pick up, too. I remember being stuck in a Mall with a Taurus, and she had to touch and handle everything. Before she could declare a shirt worthy of purchase, she had to fondle the material to see if it was soft and silky smooth.

Music: Taurus is the most musical of the signs, or so it would seem. A large number of singers and other vocal artists wind up being Taurus. In one example a Radio DJ friend claims she can't hold a tune. Still, she has the silky smooth Taurus voice on the radio, and her job is making music come out of the speakers. So there's that musical bend to Taurus.

Walmart at midnight: Whether shopping for auto parts or swimwear, the Taurus will seem to meander at times in the discount store that is open 24 hours. The Taurus will always swing through the clothing department just to see if there are any good deals, fondling the softer fabrics. The Taurus will also wander through the food section just to see if there are any good deals available. This is due to the the fact that Taurus is most often associated with Venus. It's the Venus which rules good taste. Soft, supple, and very sensual. Don't forget that pleasure is a business to a Taurus.

Brick wall: A Taurus takes one look at an Aries banging his head against the brick wall and decides that it looks like it might hurt. Taurus has a much more refined approach: do nothing, wait and see. Taurus can be rather patient at times, and when confronted with an immovable object, the Taurus is inclined to hang a nice, pretty drape on it and sit himself down to a hearty meal, waiting to see if the problem will go away. Remember, the problem has been addressed by a tasteful drape, or maybe a painting, or, at the very least, a poster that seems to be in good taste.

Bait: Get one of those special Craw Dad plastic things--the newer plastic jobs which have a special, garlic smell embedded in the plastic. Works great. I know, you might find the authentic ŇfeelingÓ of the plastic a little slimy, but to catch a Taurus, you need something that looks real, feels real, and, most important, tastes good. And that garlic flavor-bacon bait has the taste that a Taurus Bass will crave.

Revenge: The worst thing you can do to a Taurus is be late. Your Taurus date will be there, impatiently stamping his feet, wondering what took you so long, and why didn't you call, and would you like to try this new snack food?

Body part: Neck, throat, ears.

Notable folks with Sun in Taurus: Burt Bacharach, Honore de Balzac, Irving Berlin, Yogi Bera, Bono (Paul Hewson), Charlotte Bronte, James Brown, Carol Burnett, David Byrne, Glen Campbell, George Carlin, Cher, George Clooney, Judy Collins, Gary Cooper, Bing Crosby, Salvador Dali, Emilio Estevez, Henry Fonda, Sigmund Freud, James Goddard, Ulysses S. GRant, William R. Hearst, Audrey Hepburn, Dennis Hopper, Jill Ireland, Janet Jackson, Billy Joel, Grace Jones, Immanual Kant, Jessica Lange, Edward Lear, Jay Leno, H.P. Lovecraft, Shirley MacLaine, Lee Majors, Karl Marx, Rod McKuen, Jack Nicholson, Sir Laurence Olivier, Eva Peron, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ronald P. Reagan, Dennis Rodman, Bertrand Russel, Jerry Seinfeld, David O. Selznick, Tori Spelling, George Straight, Barbara Streisand, Peter Illich Tchaikovsky, Uma Thurman, Ritchie Valens, Orson Welles, Stevie Wonder, Tammy Wynette, and Roger Zelazny.

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SUN in TAURUS
Taurus is ruled by Venus. In this case, it is the Venus of Beauty and Taste. Along with this sense of beauty and taste, there's a highlighted side to Taurus that I always like to emphasize: sensuousness. This sensual side must always be recognized. There are other things which are important as well, like a strong sense of place because Taurus is always associated with the Second House, and this means home. Or stuff. A Taurus is often defined by his or her personal belongings. Taurus is, of course, the sign of the sensual beast, the one who likes to take forever getting to the good part. Taurus is all business when it comes to pleasure. Food is an important component of the Taurus make up. I have had great success with Taurus when I'm doing a reading, by asking if the individual has any food in her purse or his backpack. My favorite answer has always been, "No. Of course not. Well, there are some breath mints and a half sandwich left over from lunch, just in case I got hungry...."

"Be prepared" -- it's the Boy Scout motto. Another question I like is: "Mint Chocolate is your favorite flavor, right?" Most Taurus individuals respond with, "How did you know?" There are two other common responses: one is, "I got to choose just one flavor?" and the other is "plain vanilla." Taurus. Takes all kinds. But food plays a prominent part with Taurus. The sensual side can drive other signs absolutely crazy with the demands that the Taurus makes. Go shopping for clothes with Taurus -- the Taurus will touch and feel everything, running fingers up and down the silks, gravitating towards the subdued earth colors, pausing and then lingering in the silk department.

If I'm trying to catch a Taurus, I break out silk shirts because the Taurus can't keep her hands off the silk. "It's so soft and smooth," she purrs. A good way to really irritate Taurus is by not being punctual. They do have thing for being on time and having everything just so. One way I like to describe the various signs is by how they deal with obstacles, and in the case off the Taurus, let's say the obstacle is a brick wall, the Taurus does nothing. Maybe put up some drapes, get a lounge, and recline here on THIS side of the wall rather than do anything about it. "Leave that for other signs," says the Taurus. "All that effort looks painful. Here, have another snack." Taurus have refined sense of auditory pleasure as well.

Most Taurus individuals make good singers. In fact, several Taurus individuals are noted composers: Irving Berlin, Brahms, Ella Fitzgerald, Duke Ellington, Willie Nelson, and Tchaikovsky. But for listening, try Mahler's Symphony No. 4.

Famous Taurus people: Willie Nelson (great Texas musician and song writer, singer), April 30, 1933; Duke Ellington, April 29, 1899; Audrey Hepburn, May 4, 1929; Valentino, May 11, 1932; Janet Jackson, May 16, 1966; Cher, May 20, 1946; Talking Heads' David Burn, May 14, 1952.
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CANCER ASCENDANT
Cancer is ruled by the Moon, and this means your ascendant is ruled by the Moon. In the older astrology texts, and common with some Astrology lore, this means you're likely to have a large, oval face and a pale complexion. In the real world, it doesn't always show up this way, despite years and years of research. Marriage, even though it's a big deal for Cancer-ruled chart, might not happen as fast as you would like. In fact, you are likely to be drawn towards an older or more mature kind of partner. Typical of the Cancer-like behavior, you're going to find that you are reticent about admitting to what the truth in a situation is. You tend to hide the soft, underside of your soul from the exigencies of the outer world by appearing like a force to be reckoned with. It's a good dodge. The "home" and "Moon" stuff also suggest that you can be a delightfully good cook. You might have baldness or fine hair. 3 to 1 odds you have an addictive personality. You do tend to nurture and, on the flip side of the nurture coin, you also really like to be nurtured yourself.

Famous folks with Cancer Ascendant: Douglas Adams, Irving Berlin, William Blake, Bill Blass, Anthony Burgess, Karen Carpenter, Salvador Dali, Keith Emerson, Larry Flynt, Bill Gates, Emmylou Harris, Billy Joel, Noel Tyl, and Al Unser.

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MOON in GEMINI
Eager, eager, eager. Talkative, mentally alert, innately curious, constantly seeking stimulation, and always eager to share information, that's you. But you don't always get the facts straight and never seem to pay attention to the details. So there is this duality where you can be outwardly happy but inwardly harbor great feelings of loneliness. Duplicity isn't always nice. You probably love secrets, mysteries, and puzzles. You probably have a sensitive nervous system, but it would give a you a bad case of nerves if we talked about it. You are an avid reader and jump to conclusions, too. You can be emotionally analytical to the point where over-analysis will destroy any physical enjoyment. You probably can't concentrate on just one thing at a time. This is called multi-tasking. Some variety in your environment is helpful, even healthy.

Famous folks with a Gemini Moon: Jason Alexander, Roseanne Arnold, Joan Baez, Jack Benny, Jeff Bridges, Brett Butler, George Carlin, Davy Crockett, Roger Daltry, Bette Davis, Kirk Douglas, T.S. Eliot, A.J.Foyt, Sigmund Freud, Phyllis George, Goldie Hawn, Abbie Hoffman, Jill Ireland, Tom Jones, Edward Lear, Groucho Marx, Roger Moore, Roy Orbison, Nolan Ryan, Claudia Schiffer, Grace Slick, Tina Turner, Bobby Unser, Jane Wiedlin, and Cale Yarborough.

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cheers ~ heart cakes ~
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posted January 03, 2009 04:07 AM         

Aries: No babe! No handcuffs on me… Dream ON!

Taurus: Can we do it again; tsbeen 1O minutes already!

Gemini: So tell me what turned her on… and how did he feel?

Cancer: A H-U-G! No rubber is needed for that!

Leo: Let’s populate the earth once more tonight babe!

Virgo: You may want to try Colgate!

Libra: Steve, you’re the only one, Jeremy, you too! Marta, to you I’m dedicated!

Scorpio: You’re mine, always have been, always will be! Hey, were are you going!!!?

Sagittarius: Meeuuuuuuhhh, Waff waff, Groooin Grooooiin!

Capricorn: I know you’re on my side… It’s in the way you hurt me!

Aquarius: You hold it for 3 minutes, visualize the release, stretch your left leg and proceed with motion.

posted January 03, 2009 06:15 AM           

virgo to me feels like the invisible glue that holds all things together, and that is a tremendous, beautiful thing. guess it's hard to make funny abstractions of a sort of systematic mental and physical PROCESS though. that might be the problem. cheap shots are easier.

posted January 03, 2009 05:38 PM           

yeah I'm sick of the lame wraps too. They somehow get something right(sad to say) BUT its only a part and its like they can't get to the bottom of the real stuff so they give up and just yarp on - yattah, yattah...

posted January 03, 2009 09:56 PM           

believe it or not, that was one of the books I went to on my shelf! Yeah, not bad, I think Liz is a Virgo isn't she?

Anyway I found a version in an old book but it was pretty comprehensive so may get around to posting a few one-liners - good and amazing ones of course!

Trouble is a lot of the stereotypes are probably true for me anyway. I think, however, being discriminating and analytically critical isn't exactly a recipe for popularity. What the writers of the blurbs are missing is that we have layers(and pidgeon holes, haha) in far out places that contain all manner or 'curios'.

posted January 06, 2009 02:13 AM         

I never thought Mercury alone was the sole ruler of Virgo. And I'm not buying that Vulcan stuff. There was one thread where I went off on that a while back, completely blew my lid lol.

posted January 06, 2009 02:59 AM           

Actually the Vulcan thing was mentioned in this old book too- it surprised me coz I have generally only remembered Linda's references to it.

This little bit was interesting and I can't remember Linda commenting on it but she very well may have said same:

'According to one astrological tradition, the true ruler of Virgo is Vulcan...[who] was said to be lame due to an accident in childhood...many Virgo men and women have one foot that turns slightly inward as they walk.'

posted January 06, 2009 03:03 AM           

VirgOh, hey re: above post,

and you said: Virgo's description is
lame as usual

posted January 06, 2009 05:00 AM           

Thanks yet again, MVM

posted January 06, 2009 05:39 AM         

I don't know why people always refer to cleaning. It would be better to say order, discipline and perfection in any area of life depending on the individual's interests and lifestyle?

Can anyone point me in the direction of the post about Vulcan?

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"The pioneers of a warless world are the youth who refuse military service."