posted January 03, 2009 02:00 AM           

we have composite scorpio ascendant, so this is no surprise to me, but he and i have not actually TALKED directly about what has started happening. partly it's cuz i live with his mom and she's often around when he's here. but there is definitely something happening, and things have already happened. i'm gonna let this unfold as slowly as it needs to, cuz it's kind of fun to do it this way, and there's no need to rush.

i wonder if the other night when he gave me a slow high five that became him weaving our fingers together for a brief clasp (after one amazing second i pulled and ran away excitedly after making a happy sound because his mom was coming into the room) counts? it was certainly a confirmation of the energy that has been building. and the thing is, i think our relationship may develop as a succession of small things like this, and no actual TALK of what it is, you know? in which case, did it start when he held my hand? i've seen him every day since (that was the 30th of dec) and we have been obviously attracted to eachother and our conversations have been much sweeter, but we're both kind of shy people and like i said, probably won't ever actually discuss it, as it's happening.

posted January 03, 2009 03:09 AM         

I think a composite chart is more indicative of the relationship you have as a couple although some might disagree with me about that.

The first meeting chart can still give you a good idea about the nature of your relationship before it really, well, gets started I guess.

Some people think that a composite is relevant as soon as you first make physical contact and I've heard others say it begins when there's is an obvious mutual agreement about it.

posted January 03, 2009 03:13 AM           

well i met him 4 years ago and i really don't remember the date, nevermind the month! so first meeting chart isn't going to work. hmm. yeah our composite is lovely and definitely makes a lot of sense to me.

the thing is, we've been friends for 4 years and have spent several months sharing a home too, but i never really SAW or GOT him until very recently, and now i can't get him out of my head, or heart..

posted January 03, 2009 03:40 AM         

I wouldn't pay excessive attention to the composite just yet, but it's still fun to look anyway What planet is Mercury in? What aspect does it make? I think that is the one thing to look at in composite right now.

posted January 03, 2009 03:59 AM           

but yeah i guess maybe there has to be a more substansive communication between us (spoken or otherwise ) to constitite a Relationship chart. and one in which i don't run away dorkishly..

our composite mercury is in capricorn in the second house (exaclty on my eros, pow). so that tells me we NEED some kind of tangibility, but i sense that will come once the shyness is out of the way. it's widely conjunct sun and neptune, tightly trine moon and jupiter, and sextile AC, pluto and saturn. woah lotta aspects there. why do you ask? got any tips on how to best approach communication with this? like i said we're both really shy and careful about matters of the heart, maybe even a little guarded, but it's like we communicate indirectly and we're very boisterous and have great conversations AROUND the issue. so it's definitely fun, but i think neither of us is sure how to approach the subject exactly. he came over new years eve to see me and we got drunk and we were both sooo nervous. i was very happy that he left and didn't take my hints cuz who wants to start a relationship in a drunken fog? the next day we happened to run into eachother in the middle of a street and we had a very VERY lovely walk and conversation, and wow wow wow it's like we're dropping hints all over the place but neither of us knows how to get over that last shyness hurdle. but, like i said i don't want to rush it either!

we both have NN in the 8th and he has saturn in scoprio, conj mercury and i have saturn in the 8th so i think we both strongly NEED and fear a very deep intimacy..

posted January 03, 2009 05:41 AM         

I don't think it's silly to ask if I think the man should make the first move. I'm actually a HUGE advocate of that...I have a very old-fashioned streak in that way. Let him gather his nerve and make a move, he will.
Yet I do think at the rate you guys are going though, it's going to be a very mutual thing, and the interaction is going to be mutual in progress. It seems really positive to me...I am sure it's going to blossom into something beautiful and can feel it

posted January 03, 2009 05:47 AM           

something happened about a week and a half ago that changed the entire dynamic between us, and also, consequently, made me start to fall for him. i think this event made us both see eachother in completely new lights and made us realize a lot of things about ourselves and our lives. we'd always been very defensive around eachother. mostly we joked, but at times it seemed very tense. the event changed all that around and suddenly we have common ground and trust and a really strong respect and understanding. i think our defensivenesses stemmed from very similar issues in our lives, basically being emotionally misunderstood and neglected (the saturn/8th emphasis), and now it's like.. we sense strongly that there is this sensitivity in each of us and we can open up and trust it, but we're both afraid of being rejected. it's so funny cuz we are so similar in the ways we seek reassurance that the other feels this thing, but we're both too shy to put ourselves totally out there!

posted January 03, 2009 05:57 AM           

yeah i feel it too. shucks. it's weird though cuz it's like we've penetrated the deepest, thickest scar tissue in one another and broken through to the soft inner core of one another, but it's sort of something we don't share with others. this is the place we've now found ourselves continutally meeting, and it's so wonderful yet odd to share this with someone all of a sudden. he's a scorpio with pluto exactly conjunct his sun and i never realized how intensley *real* a person he is. he loathes all things superficial, and i think he thought i was a bubbly twerp before, but we've found this amazing middle ground, and .. yeah. so yeah i'm just scared one of us could get scared, cuz it feels very intense! but yet, i see him every day and because i did not think about him this way before, he's used to me as a hang out buddy, and me him and that gives me the sense that time will take care of my anxieties and it will all unfold as it does.

whew, thanks for saying that about men making the first move. i feel the same way, and when you wrote that i got tingles. it just makes so much more sense energetically, don't you think? i dunno if you read my other thread, but this man is so guarded and serious that he has not had a girlfriend in a few years. i know he knows i like him, but i do sometimes wonder if he might be too shy to get there. but given enough time and subtle encouragement i'm sure he will.

posted January 03, 2009 06:41 AM         

I think you've got a major advantage in your situation!!! The way to this guy's heart is feeling like friendship first since he's so guarded! And so you totally have the advantage here

posted January 05, 2009 04:59 AM           

thanks for you kind words myvirgomask, but i'm FREAKING OUT and need some advice quick!! so i still see him every day but his mom is ALWAYS around (we usually have a couple of hours alone but haven't for the past couple of days). i think she knows something is up and she's a little bit, uh, nosey. she hasn't said anything but she keeps walking in the room and stuff when we're near eachother like she's trying to see if something is going on. so we've continued to talk around it and make VERY vague hints. then today he made a few really weird faces at me which he used to do all the time that were like his old push-away pattern (he has moon opposite venus and i read about it on astrologyweekly and they DO the opposite of what they feel cuz they're so scared of rejection), and then today we started off great and were cooking together (well seperate meals, same time) and then all of a sudden he seemed to get scared and i think he isn't sure if i like him cuz he moved away like he felt rejected when i approached the stove and he would hardly look at me, and so i'm trying HARD not to feel rejected too.. and i feel like we're both really scared and of course we can't do or talk about anything with his mom always around.. but of course i'm not 100% sure and now i'm starting to lose my own confidence around him.

like i said we used to have this really weird banter that was like siblings going at it in a way, and then that disappeared once the eye contact began and there were no more defenses, but now they're creeping back in and i don't want it to slip away based on some stupid fears we both have. i don't think approaching it directly will even work because of that moon-venus energy, and besides, i want HIM to do the approaching anyway. i feel like if i/we wait too long though, he could go back into his shell and be too afraid to come out again. god, he was opening up so beautifully with me. i've never seen him like that before.. but i think we're BOTH nervous! crap! i just don't know what to do..

i was thinking of writing 'i'm just nervous' on my hand and showing him. oh man this feels so tricky though cuz of all those defenses i mentioned before. cuz, didn't he already sorta make the first move, with the hands? this would be a small step to veer it back without me having to do anything. oh gosh, 2 years ago we were hanging out and he touched me then too. he put his hands on my feet and held them there. it was the most incredible sensation. he is such a shy person and for him to do that must have taken such courage. we also had really amazing, electric, but soothing eye contact. but i was stupid back then and was only into pretty boy types. so he's kinda made the move twice and i haven't really done anything tangible to show him it's mutual. hmm, maybe he needs tangibility. well i wacked him a couple of times with my grocery bag on our walk (it was very light ) while we were joking and bantering and he seemed to enjoy that, but i'm not sure if that counts. and of course the last thing i want is for him to think i was leading him on or something when the truth is i'm just as nervous as he is! but i've always exhuded a certain confidence around him and a few of his friends have liked me, so maybe he thinks i know what the heck i'm doing. i don't.

oh also i'm nervous cuz i used to be the twerp (as i said) and he used to be kinda obnoxious (acerbic, cutting humour) right back. since that's gone, i feel unsure as to how to talk to him, because if i start up with my bubbliness again he might get even more into that old pattern (god for years i didn't think he even really LIKED me.. but it's that darn opposition! http://www.astrologyweekly.com/astrological-aspects/moon-opposition-venus.php ), and i don't think i could handle that now, nor do i think it'd be good for him. arrrrg. i feel stuck. and to top it off i can't sleep anymore! haha, it used to be a good thing; so many lovely memories of the moments we shared, but now it's almost panic. yikes.

any advice??

posted January 05, 2009 08:17 PM           

well i realized after another hour or two of agonizing that i just have to be myself. duh. but i realized another factor in our mutual nervousness is his mom. boy oh boy. today she was asking me about my love life and then when he got here, she was asking him if he has a girlfriend, and then he said sarcastically, 'yeah i have nine' and then she was like, 'well you should at least introduce me to one of them; i might like her!!'. she was going on and on about how she was afraid he wouldn't tell him if he had one, and oh my lawd it was awkward!! she has the best intentions and is a great person, but i think she doesn't realize that her need to know is making it difficult for us to actually establish anything!! arg. well maybe she thinks something's already started and we're hiding it from her.