posted January 10, 2009 01:04 AM         

ah i see now

posted January 10, 2009 08:35 AM           

Those sound like such terrible aspects. I went on cafe astrology to find descriptions of them, and I found the moon - saturn square to be interesting:

"Your relationship brings out the individual need for security and safety in you both, and you will certainly find a basic sense of safety with each other. Although you, in particular, may feel emotionally frustrated at times, there is a feeling of constancy and dependability in your partner that is very attractive. This relationship stands much chance of being a long-lasting one. However, it can have its fair share of ups and downs. Periods of emotional distance and subsequent feelings that the relationship may be too "heavy" to maintain are often followed by tearful and emotional "reunions" when both of you realize that you need each other desperately, and that your attachment runs deeper than is always apparent. It is easy to see, with this kind of pattern, that either or both of you could feel "trapped" together at times! But the truth of the matter is, given the depth of your attachment to each other, there is much to gain from working on the intimacy issues described above."

Is that not what I described above?? How crazy! The "trapped" thing resonates so much as well. I have tried everything from cutting off talking to him, to sending him a list of my bad traits to try to get rid of him to no avail. I've even tried dating other people, but weirdly enough other men treat me as if I have the plague almost! And prior to him I had NO problem getting dates. I don't know what has changed about me to put other men off, but it does make me feel trapped with him for better or for worse...

posted January 11, 2009 12:41 PM         

In the case of the composite, you've got your planets scattered a bit, and this is reflective of the relationship's state: Where do we stand?

Also, in composite I've read that each planet/luminary represents something...look at the moon in your composite. It doesn't get much in the way of aspects. It doesn't mean the relationship isn't emotional (it obviously is), but with it lacking aspects it says that there's some emotional security/comfort/routine lacking. And it's in Taurus, so naturally it needs it to feel more harmonious. And it's in the 8th! So it needs that intensity to be acknowledged. But it looks lonely over there by itself, without other aspects. It needs to feel secure, so it's withdrawn to the other side of the chart instead since it doesn't know what to do.

Also, look at your Jupiter in the composite: It's in Libra. This is how your relationship expands. You talk about the back and forth you go through before moving forward - indecisiveness - reflected in this very Libran way. With a good conjunct from Saturn, the relationship lurches forward. But Saturn's not making any other aspects to the chart, so a lot is resting on that Jupiter/Saturn aspect for stability.
Look at the Midheaven in Gemini - it's reflective of the relationship. You guys have a close bond, but tend to not know where you stand. Back and forth.

Mercury in Virgo. You guys tend to pick things apart in the relationship, including each other. Communication is a major part of the relationship, lots of talking things over. And weird, sudden reactions to each other's ideas.
Lots of verbal stuff. Thing is, the composite sun conjuncts the 12th and Mercury is IN the 12th...emphasizing the 'what are we exactly ???' theme in conversations about your relationship.

posted January 11, 2009 02:38 PM         

I don't even have to look at your chart to tell you that you should walk away now. I've had friends that have been in the exact same type of relationship that are you're in and I have never seen it turn out well. One of these friends did marry her boyfriend, but the marriage lasted only 6 months.

The attraction between you two is undeniable, but you need something stronger than attraction or even love to have a lasting marriage. There needs to be an unbreakable bond between you, which you don't have with this guy. This isn't to say that you don't love each other; I'm sure you both do.

Marriage is even harder and going through a divorce is worse than the breakups you've had with this guy since all of your resources like money are combined. People show their true colors during divorces and often there is a lot of hatred for each other. Your spouse ends up becoming your enemy. Very few divorces are amicable and even fewer former spouses end up becoming friends.

If both of you can control your attraction for each other, then you can remain friends, but if this isn't possible, then it's best if you cut ties all together, though you should try to do this as amicably as possible so you both leave on good terms with each other.